"Stages of Recovery"

Opening Act

Scene opens in Chicago, exterior, somewhere in Grant Park near a pond. Pan slowly from the top down a sloping hillside toward the pond. Show ducks swimming out on the water and in the background we hear their' 'quacking' sounds. Pull slowly around the pond and shoot up from the bottom to show Doug Ross and Carol Hathaway sitting on the bank. They are tossing popcorn kernels out for the ducks and watching them gobble them up. Pan closer and we hear Carol laughing. They are in street clothes, but, heading for the hospital. Pull close on Doug as he looks at the ground in thought.

Doug (softly):
Nina told me you started your sessions with her.

Carol (still tossing popcorn, doesn't look at Doug...big smile at the ducks):
Yeah, that's right!
(turns to smile at him)
I started them about a week ago.

Doug (looks at her, gives her a weak grin):
You know, you really don't have to do that. I'm gonna be OK...you've been through enough with shrinks on your own...

Carol (cuts him off quickly):
Hey! We're in this together...remember?
(touches his arm)
What happens to one of us, happens to both of us...remember? We talked about this!

Doug (shrugs):
I know...I was just thinking about you...I mean, this won't drudge up bad memories for you or anything, will it?

Carol (shakes her head with a soft smile):
No. And even if it does, you'll be there for me, won't you?

Doug (nods quickly):
Absolutely!
(Looks casually away, out over the pond)
I was just giving you the chance...

Carol (touches his arm):
The chance to what? The chance to run? I'm not running anymore, Doug.
(turns his face to look at her)
And neither are you.

She leans in to kiss him sweetly...he meets her halfway with the kiss and locks his hands around the sides of her head to hold the moment.

Cut scene.

Open next scene back at the hospital...interior...somewhere in the ER. Mark Greene is playing a computer game surrounded by Chuny, Haleh, and Jerry who are watching and cheering him on. Cut to show Nina Pomerantz coming up to the counter quickly. She snaps a file down on the desk and gives Mark a "look" until he realizes she is staring at him and looks up at her.

Mark (innocently):
What?
(Nina doesn't answer...just motions to the file with her eyes and then to the clock on the wall. Mark turns to see the clock and slams his hand to his forehead in anguish)
Our breakfast conference! I clean forgot! Is it too late now? Or do I need another raincheck?

Nina (smiles):
I've got time if you do!

Mark (nods to the computer):
Jerry, take over for me, OK?

Jerry (smiles wide...edges over to the computer):
Sure thing, Dr. Greene!

Haleh (bumps Jerry out of the way quickly):
Out the way, Boy! I'll show you how to play this game!

Jerry (protesting):
But, Dr. Greene told me to do it...

His cries fall on deaf ears and Haleh begins to bang away at the keyboard. Show Mark and Nina walking for the elevator and laughing.

Cut scene.

Open next scene back at the water front. Doug and Carol are walking now. Doug is tossing kernels of corn out onto the water as they go.

Carol (quietly, looks up at him):
How are you getting along with Nina, anyway?

Doug (shrugs...tosses more corn):
OK, I guess. She's OK.

Carol:
I wasn't asking about her. I was asking about you.

Doug (stops walking, turns to look at her):
I'm OK.

Carol:
Well, you know, I've been thinking, you spend a lot of time at my place now. I mean, you're there until way late and you usually get there in time for breakfast in the mornings...are you having problems staying alone at your apartment?

Doug (smiles an impish smile at her):
Nope! Just having trouble staying away from you!

Carol (grins a sarcastic grin):
Well, then, maybe it's time you got this?
(she hands him a small black box, very similar to the one her ring came in)

Doug (takes box):
What's this?
(opens the box and finds a key on a chain)
Well, what do you know! It's a key!
(Eyes Carol teasingly)
Is this the key to your heart?

Carol (grins...she is excited for the moment):
Almost! It's the key to my front door...

Doug (takes the key out of the box):
Is this an open invitation?

Carol (nods):
Anytime...or completely...whichever way you want it.

Doug (slips the key around his neck...gives her a taken aback look):
Completely? Are you saying what I think you're saying?

Carol (stops walking, turns to look him in the eye):
That I'm asking you to move in with me? What would you think about that? Would I be too forward?

Doug (smiles wide):
Well, I surely HOPE so...

He laughs and throws his arm around her shoulders quickly and they start walking again...she leans over to cling to his jacket as they walk...both are laughing...in love...and happy...

Cut scene.

Open next scene back at the hospital. Show Nina and Mark at breakfast together in the cafeteria. They both have case files on the table with them and are conversing quietly together. Pull close and focus on Mark. He is nodding his head with a concerned look on his face.

Mark:
So, that's your prognosis? And you think this is going to happen soon?

Nina (nods solemnly):
He's very close to the wall, Mark. The dam is about to break.
(makes a small measurement with her thumb and her forefinger)
I am this close to breaking Doug Ross wide open...

Focus on Mark as he nods again, very concerned look on his face.

Fade into the opening credits of the show.

"ER"

"Stages of Recovery"

Act One

Scene opens still at the hospital cafeteria at the conference between Mark Greene and Nina Pomerantz, still discussing their "mutual" patient.

Nina (points to files):
I see you still have files on him, so, he IS still your patient, right?

Mark (nods):
Right. I've given him clearance to return to work, but, he's still under my care. I've not given him full medical clearance yet. And I'm still keeping an eye on him.

Nina (smiles a satisfied smile): Good. I'm glad he has someone to keep an eye on him.

Mark (cautiously):
He's OK, isn't he? I mean, he's not going to crack down in the ER or anything, is he?

Nina (shakes her head):
He shouldn't. He's doing very well...cooperating nicely...it's just....
(she pauses...Mark gives her a coaxing look)

Mark:
It's just...what?

Nina (taps her fingers on the table):
Well, he's just very strong, that's all. I mean, more than once now I've gotten him right to the edge of the dam and he just teeters back. He's incredible, actually. I've never seen a will fight so hard not to be broken.

Mark:
I'm guessing this is a bad thing?

Nina:
Well, not a bad thing...he's just making it harder on himself. If he would just relent and let everything go that he's holding back he'd get past this a lot faster.

Mark (sarcastic grin):
I thought that was your job?

Nina (in mock defense of herself):
Well, it IS my job, but, I've just never come up against anybody this strong before!

Mark (smiles softly):
He's not that strong, Nina. He's just a good fighter. If I can help, just let me know.

Nina (smiles back at him):
Thanks, but, I'm not ready to call in the troops just yet.
(looks at her watch quickly)
But, I AM late for an appointment!
(stands up and gathers her files to leave)
Thanks, Mark! I'll talk to you later!

Mark (gathers his own things):
Yeah, right! I've got to get back to the ER anyway...

Cut back to the staff locker room. Doug is standing in front of his open locker getting ready for the day...he is the only one in the locker room and he is fingering the chain around his neck with the key to Carol's house dangling from it when Mark comes into the room.

Mark (brightly):
'Morning!

Doug (turns and grins):
Hey, Mark!

Mark (motions to the chain):
What's that?

Doug (holds the chain out to show the key):
The answer to my prayers.

Mark (sarcastically):
And just when did you get spirituality?

Doug (chuckles):
Hey, I know a miracle when I see one!
(pauses before tucking the key into his shirt)
Carol gave it to me. It's the key to her house.

Mark (stunned look):
Does that mean you're moving?

Doug (slams locker shut):
Yep! Wanna help?

Mark:
Sure! Just let me know when!

Doug (starts for the door):
On our day off, of course!
(grins impishly)

Mark (nods sarcastically):
Of course!
(catches Doug back just as he starts completely out the door)
Hey, what time is your appointment with Pomerantz today?

Doug:
It's tonight...7pm.

Mark (nods):
OK...just be sure you KEEP it!

Doug nods and disappears on out the door. Cut back to show Mark shaking his head with a smile over their conversation.

Cut scene.

Open next scene in the ER. Chuny is going over a chart and shaking her head, mumbling ad libs of 'this can't be right' to herself. Haleh comes up beside her and looks over her shoulder.

Haleh:
What can't be right?

Chuny:
These instructions Dr. Ross left for this patient. I know I'm not a doctor, but, this just doesn't look right to me.

Haleh (in offer to help):
Well, if you have a question about it, just ask him!

Chuny (nods):
Yeah, I think I will...

Chuny exits with the chart in her hand.

Pan over to show Jerry and Carol working at the station together and Kerry Weaver strolls up casually.

Kerry:
So, Carol, I hear you may be getting a roommate?

Carol (looks up quickly):
Who told you that?

Kerry (smiles teasingly)
You know what they say about news spreading like wildfire, don't you?

Jerry (matter-of-factly):
My dad always said news like that spreads like manure!

Carol (rolls her eyes):
I don't know yet. Nothing is final.

Kerry (laughingly):
Oh, come ON, Carol...you gave the man a key to your house! How fast do you think he's gonna break his neck moving his stuff over there?

Carol (truthfully):
It's really not quite like that.

Kerry (as she starts away):
Well, congratulations anyway.

Carol watches Kerry go with a blank stare. She turns around to see Jerry and several of the others just staring at her.

Carol (emphatically):
What?

Everybody makes a 'nothing' motion and goes back to work.

Cut to Doug and Chuny. Doug is making some notes on a chart in a trauma room when Chuny comes in carrying the one in question with her.

Chuny:
Dr. Ross?

Doug (doesn't look up):
What is it, Chuny?

Chuny (nervously):
About these instructions for the pedes case in three...

Doug (still doesn't look at her):
Is there a problem?

Chuny:
Well, I just wanted to ask if you were real sure about these instructions...

Doug (looks at her quickly):
Of course I'm sure! Why wouldn't I be?

Chuny (hands him the chart):
Would you just take a look, please? Just to be sure?

Doug looks over the chart quickly and hands it back to her with a 'what' expression on his face.

Doug:
Yes, I'm sure.

Chuny (desperately):
But, Dr. Ross...

Doug (impatiently):
Chuny, I really don't have time to stand here and argue with you about this. Now, either carry out my orders or give them to someone who will!

He pushes past her and goes out the door. Focus on Chuny with an expression between angry and frustration on her face. She walks out of the room and straight down the hall to Carol.

Chuny:
Carol, could you take a look at this for me, please?

Carol (looks over the chart and her eyes widen with fear):
This can't be right!

Chuny (relieved):
That's what I thought, too, but, I took it to Dr. Ross a second time to be sure. What should I do?

Carol (smiles at Chuny):
You did the right thing, Chuny. I'll take this to Dr. Greene. Thanks.

Follow Carol as she carries the chart down the hall to find Mark.

Cut to Mark in an empty medic room filling out some forms. Carol knocks on the door for his attention and he looks up.

Carol (holds chart up):
Got a minute?

Mark (motions her in):
Sure.

Carol:
Chuny brought this to me...I thought you might need to see it..

Mark (looks over the chart, shaking his head emphatically):
No, no, this isn't right...who signed this?
(turns the page up to see signature and sighs)
That's why you brought it to me, huh? I was afraid this was gonna happen...

Carol (sits on the exam table and faces Mark):
He says he's fine, but, he's really having a rough time with Nina right now. He's not sleeping very well. And I never see him eat. I'm really getting worried about him.

Mark:
I've been watching for things like this. I was hoping it wouldn't come to force. I guess I need to have a little talk with Dr. Ross...

Carol (sympathetically):
Go easy on him, Mark. He's really trying.

Mark (nods, still looking at the chart):
I know he is. But, he has to make decisions that effect lives. I can't play around with something like that.
(sighs and looks up at her)
But, don't worry, Carol, I'll handle it diplomatically.
(scribbles something on the chart and hands it back to Carol)
Tell Chuny to do this. Everything should be fine. But, I need this...
(takes off the original instructions)

Carol (nods and turns to leave):
Thanks, Mark.

Mark (calls after her):
And tell Doug I want to see him!

Carol (nods over her shoulder):
Right away!

Cut scene.

Open next scene with Doug opening the door to the room Mark is sitting in. Mark is at a table looking over papers in front of him.

Doug (opening door):
Carol said you wanted to see me.

Mark (motions him in):
Yeah, Doug! Thanks! I wanted you to look at something for me.
(Hands him a copy he has made of the original instructions Doug gave, but, has omitted the signature)
Since you're in Pedes, I wanted to see what you thought about this.

Doug (looks over the instructions and chuckles):
Oh, no! This is ALL wrong! What kind of a knucklehead ordered something like this?
(Mark doesn't answer...just hands Doug the original orders so he can see that he, himself, signed it. Doug is deflated to see his own signature)
So, I'm the knucklehead, huh?

Mark (shakes his head):
You're not a knucklehead. You're a good doctor. And we both know that. But, I think right now, you maybe have too many things on your mind.

Doug:
Well, how did Carol get this anyway?

Mark:
Chuny took it to her. She didn't think it looked right...

Doug (sighs):
That's what she brought it back to me for! She was trying to get me to see my own mistake! Thank God I work with a good team! This could have had serious consequences...

Mark:
I'm seeing the signs of fatigue in you almost everyday. Is there anything you want to talk to me about?

Doug (toys nervously with an edge of the paper):
Nina's tough...

Mark (nods):
I know she is. And I think if you just stay with her, you'll get through all of this and be better for it. But, right now, I think you need some time away...
(Doug looks up quickly and starts to protest)
I know that you wanted to bury yourself in your work through this. And that's a natural retreat. Most people absorb themselves into something that keeps them busy while they're battling something bigger than they are. There's nothing wrong with that. I've done it my own self. But, the decisions you make effect other lives, Doug. I can't take chances with something like that. You know that.

Doug (nods):
OK. What do you want me to do?

Mark:
Carol is off for the next three days. Why don't you take at least two of those days and the two of you just GO someplace. Get away from here. Go up to Wenetka to the lake or something. Then, when you come back, let me re-evaluate you and I'll tell you if I think you should go back to work yet.

Doug:
So, you're more or less suspending me, right?

Mark (shakes his head):
No, not at all. I'm suggesting you take a couple of days off and I'm not giving you any choice in the matter.
(smiles....Doug chuckles)
It's a vacation, OK?

Doug (nods):
OK.

Mark (gathers up his things to leave...leaves Doug sitting there thinking):
Don't miss your appointment with Nina tonight, OK?

Doug (nods again):
OK.

Mark pats Doug on the shoulder and goes on out the door. Doug looks down again at the his mistake he made earlier and shakes his head. He pockets the instructions into his lab coat and leaves the room.

Cut Scene.

Open next scene at the nurses station. Carol is going over charts and looking down. Doug comes up and leans on the counter, getting her attention carefully.

Doug (softly):
Hey!

Carol (looks up and smiles):
Hey!

Doug:
I'm in with Nina Pomerantz tonight at 7pm but, would it be OK if I came over after? Should be around 9pm or so?

Carol (smiles):
You have a key now...

Doug (smiles coyly):
Well, yeah, but, I still want you to know when I'm coming home...I don't want you to sic the dog on me or anything!

Carol (laughs):
I don't have a dog...

Doug (chuckles):
We might just have to remedy that!

Carol (grins):
Sure, come on when you leave, OK? I'll be there.
(pauses carefully)
Did Mark talk to you?

Doug (chuckles lightly):
Oh, yeah!

Carol (concerned):
How'd it go?

Doug (looks her in the eye):
It went OK. We'll talk about it later, OK? Tonight?

Carol (nods):
OK...

Carol watches him go off down the hall...her face registers mild concern that his attitude turned around so quickly...but she shrugs it off...and goes back to work.

Fade Act One to black...

"ER"

"Stages of Recovery"

Act Two

Scene opens in Nina Pomerantz's office. She is sitting in a chair facing Doug and he is sprawled rather comfortably in his, resting his head back into the pocket of the high back.

Nina (making notes):
Did you ever try the experiment I gave you for your fear of dark rooms?

Doug (nods quietly):
Yeah...just a few days ago, as a matter of fact.

Nina (puts her pen down to focus on his words):
Tell me about it.

Doug (shrugs):
I went with Mark Greene...we went into a medic room down in the ER...one where we catch cat naps on late shifts. I was OK for a few seconds, but, we were both moving around and he came up behind me and reached out to touch my shoulder...if I hadn't known it was Mark I probably would've decked him. I still can't handle somebody coming up behind me yet.

Nina (makes notes):
That may take a little more time than some of the other things. What about Mark touching you in a normal fashion...are you having any problems with that?

Doug (shakes his head):
No. Not as long as I see him first.

Nina:
I want you to keep working on that dark room experiment until you can stay in there a full two minutes, OK?
(Doug nods)
Now, what about sexual relations? Have you engaged in any since the attack?

Doug (shakes his head):
No.

Nina:
For lack of trying? Or lack of desire?

Doug (chuckles):
Mostly for lack of time!
(pauses...stares at his feet)
And, I don't think I'm in any real hurry. I think I'm a little afraid.

Nina:
What are you afraid of?

Doug:
Afraid I won't be able to...or that it won't be good...or that I'll hurt her...

Nina (smiles):
These are all natural fears for someone who has experienced a sexual violation. Let's take them one at a time, OK? Afraid you won't be able to...do you have the desire? Do you get excited?

Doug (nods):
Yes.

Nina:
Then, you will be able to. If the desire is there and you answer the call, when the time is right, you won't have any trouble performing the act.

Doug (sighs):
I hope you're right.

Nina:
Now, you're afraid it won't be any good? I know you've had multiple sex partners in the past so I'm guessing you would have plenty to compare...
(Doug gives her an exasperated chuckle)
But, I think now you're one to one and in tune with someone you really care about, am I right?

Doug (nods...lost in thought):
Yeah...

Nina:
Have you ever had sex with her before?

Doug:
A long time ago...

Nina (smiles):
Then, it'll be almost like the first time all over again. If the two of you have not been together in a while, and you've both changed a lot, then you have nothing to compare anything to and whatever happens will be like starting over. You shouldn't worry about how 'good' it is...you will have to learn to love each other all over again.

Doug (ponders that thought):
I guess I never looked at it that way!

Nina:
Now, why on Earth would be afraid you'll hurt her?
(Doug doesn't answer...only shrugs)
Have you ever hurt her?

Doug:
Not sexually...

Nina:
Then, why do you think you would now?

Doug:
'Cos I have dreams about it. I have dreams that the rage that's boiling inside of me takes over and I unleash during sex...

Nina:
What rage inside you, Doug? Talk to me about that...

Doug (perplexed, but, continues):
I just know I want to hurt somebody the way somebody hurt me...
(pauses...anguished look on his face)
And I'm scared to death it's gonna be Carol...

Nina (smiles):
Carol would never let you hurt her...and your love for her would never let you either. These feelings that you want to hurt someone...are they only aimed at Carol? You never feel that way towards another man?

Doug (shakes his head):
No. What does that mean?

Nina:
That means it is the act you're afraid of...not the partner. And the partner of choice is the opposite sex, which is a healthy sign. Just keep working on that side of things. I promise you when the time is right it will all come together.

Doug (grins):
Just like in high school, huh?

Nina (nods with a smile):
Something like that.
(pauses)
You look a little ragged...how are you doing otherwise?

Doug:
Oh, great! I got these nightmares keeping me awake all night...I got Carol breathing down my neck every time I move my big toe to see if I'm all right and I got Mark on my case here...
(pitches her the instruction papers he made a mistake on earlier in the day)
And now I'm making mistakes like this...
(pauses as she reads over them)
Thank God Chuny caught my mistake and had sense enough to tell Carol, her supervisor, who in turn went to Mark, MY supervisor...

Nina:
What did Mark say?

Doug (sighs):
He wants me to take the next couple of days off. Then, he'll re-evaluate me and see if he thinks I can come back to work.

Nina (smiles):
Well, I think that's excellent!

Doug:
The way it was handled may be excellent, but, I can't be making mistakes like this, Nina. I've got to find some way to get this thing together fast...

Nina:
You can't rush this, Doug. The mind heals in it's own way and there's nothing the medical field can do to speed that process up.
(pauses for her pitch)
But, I think maybe you're ready for a group session...that might help some...

Doug (confused):
A group session?

Nina:
Sure, I'll bring in Mark and Carol both and we'll all sit down together. I really think it might help...

Doug (shrugs):
You're the boss...

Nina (brightens):
So, you're saying that's OK with you?

Doug (nods):
Sure.

Nina (makes notes):
Great! We have a regular session scheduled for Thursday at 7pm...I'll just alert Carol and Mark to come at the same time...

Doug:
I knew Carol was seeing you...but is Mark seeing you, too?

Nina:
Not on a session basis, but, we confer, yes.
(smiles)
He's been a big help. He's really a good friend. I hope you know that.

Doug (nods with a soft smile):
I do.

Nina (makes notes):
What about sleeping? Do you want me to give you something to help you sleep?

Doug (shakes his head):
No.

Nina:
You're sure? Because I can give you something light...

Doug (cuts her off quickly):
I'll be OK.

Nina (nods):
Well, OK...for now at least...

Scene cuts quickly to show Doug opening the door to Carol's house with his key. He stops in the hallway and hangs his jacket up. He turns his attention to the fact that candles line the hallway and his eyes follow them to the doorway of Carol's bedroom. Carol is standing in the doorway, leaning on the door facing, in a very short and revealing negligee...her hair is down over her shoulders...and she gives him a sultry look.

Carol:
I've been waiting for you, Dr. Ross.

Doug (taken aback):
What are you doing?

Carol (walking slowly down the hall):
I want you, Doug...
(she takes him by the shirt front and starts pulling him back to the room with her)
And I want you NOW!

Show Carol leading Doug into the bedroom and focus on the door closing.

Cut scene to a local restaurant somewhere in Chicago. Nina and Mark are having dinner together and conversing about Doug. Show them sitting at a table and sharing pizza.

Nina (quietly):
Doug told me about his mistake today.
(Mark nods and grunts through a bite of pizza)
I thought you handled it very professionally.

Mark (shrugs):
Well, he's a good doctor. He wouldn't make a mistake like that under normal circumstances. I'm hoping the next couple of days will relax him some. Carol is off too, so, maybe she can get to him.
(sighs)
I sure haven't been able to lately.

Nina:
How did he take it? When you talked to him?

Mark (nods):
He seemed OK with it...realized he'd made the mistake and he accepted it. He knows he's having problems. He just doesn't like to admit it. But, I know Doug...he'll get it together.

Nina:
You two have had some heated moments down in the ER, haven't you?
(Mark eyes her with a grin, rolls his eyes and nods)
Dan mentioned that to me...I didn't have a lot of concept of that.

Mark:
Yeah, we've had our moments.

Nina:
Yet, you're always right there when he needs you...

Mark:
Well, that's what friends are for. I think Doug realizes that now. I think a good friend is something maybe he never had before.

Nina:
He told me you helped him with his dark room experiment...

Mark (chuckles):
Yeah! Everything was fine until I touched his shoulder.

Nina:
How did he react? I mean, he told me if he hadn't known it was you he likely would have decked you, but, what exactly happened?

Mark:
He just sort of freaked out so I turned on the light. He had his fists doubled up. He was ready to hit. As soon as he saw it was me, he was just drained.
(pauses)
I'm really getting worried about him, Nina. I don't know how much longer he can go on at this pace...

Nina:
Don't worry...things are happening...he's headed in the right direction. He's even agreed to a group session with you and Carol and I think that's where things can REALLY start to happen!

Mark (nods, takes another bite of pizza):
Hope you're right...

Cut scene.

Open next scene back at Carol's in her bedroom. Pan up from the bottom of the bed to show Doug and Carol under the covers together. Doug is toying with her hair with the arm he has around her back and shoulders. She is snuggled next to his bare chest and rubbing him gently with her fingernails.

Doug:
Tell me the truth, OK? Was it really bad?

Carol (smiles...snuggles closer to him):
No.

Doug:
You'd tell me the truth, wouldn't you?

Carol (looks up at him...direct eye contact):
I'm not going to lie to you, Doug. Neither of us would gain anything from that. It wasn't bad.

Doug (chuckles):
Wasn't great either...

Carol:
Will you stop it? Would you just STOP putting so much pressure on yourself? Don't you understand that I just care about YOU? I care about you being here and I care about you holding me in your arms...

Doug (cuts her off):
You trying to convince me or you?

Carol:
I don't need any convincing, so, it must be you.

Doug (sighs):
I just want you to be satisfied...

Carol:
I'm not that hard to please, Doug. There are a lot of things more important to me in this relationship than sex. It will come at it's own time. And I happen to think you're worth the wait.
(kisses him sweetly...he smiles)

Doug:
Well, if that's the case, why did you initiate it tonight?

Carol (shrugs):
I wanted you. I've wanted you since the night you put this ring on my finger.

Doug (almost knowingly):
Was tonight Nina Pomerantz's idea?

Carol (grins at him):
Well, she did suggest I take the bull by the horns if I was tired of waiting!

Doug (chuckles):
Ummm, I don't think it was the horns exactly that you took the bull by, but I'll accept that!
(Carol laughs)
I guess it was just a bad day...
(she senses he wants to talk and let him ramble)
And now I've got Mark on my back to top it all off...

Carol (snaps at him):
Hey, be fair! Mark is not on your back! He called attention to your mistake in a more professional manner than he would have anybody else! Mark is giving you a lot of rope in this...

Doug (sighs):
I know you're right. I just don't like the fact that you are.
(he stretches his arms and snuggles closer to her)
You know, you must really love me to go through all this for me. I hope you're not disappointed. (settles down closer to get some sleep)

Carol (lost in thought, but touching his chest with her fingernails):
I won't be...

Doug (chuckles):
So, now that I am officially banished from the ER for the next two days, where would you like to go?

Carol (snuggles her head close on his chest and smiles):
We don't have to go anywhere. We can just spend some time together...take some walks and just talk. I think I'd like that more than anything else we could do right now.

Doug (snuggles his head down on his pillow):
You sure?

Carol (nods):
Yeah.
(looks up at him and smiles)
That OK with you?

Doug (chuckles):
Lady, anything you say is all right with me!

Doug closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep...Carol stares off into space out the window, lost in the thought of their situation...

Fade Act Two to Black.

"ER"

"Stages of Recovery"

Act Three

Scene opens in Nina Pomerantz; office. Carol Hathaway is shifting nervously in the chair in front of her desk. She is dressed for off duty in jeans, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes.

Nina:
What's bothering you, Carol?

Carol (fidgets nervously):
I think I may have pushed Doug too far too fast last night.

Nina:
Pushed him too far? How?

Carol (looks at her feet):
We made love last night...

Nina (brightens...leans forward on the desk...interested):
And?

Carol (shrugs):
I'm not sure he was ready.

Nina:
Did he respond?
(Carol nods)
Quickly? With coaxing?
(motions with her hands)
Help me out, here, Carol...

Carol (grins):
Quickly. No problems there! He just seemed like he was holding back. That's all. I think he's afraid he'll hurt me. I don't know how to get him past that.

Nina:
Has he ever hurt you?

Carol (shakes her head):
No. He's great. He really is. He's kind...and gentle...very considerate of his partner...but, I think he feels like he's never gotten rid of his anger over the attack...

Nina:
Does he have anger from it? Because he never expresses it here.

Carol (nods):
He has anger. I see him sometimes when he thinks no one is watching. He pounds lockers...steering wheels....doors....I see it. He doesn't know I see it...but, I do.

Nina:
Well, to calm your first fear, if Doug wasn't ready, he would not have responded. So, don't worry that you're moving him too fast. I'm sure he can make up his own mind about that.
(She and Carol both chuckle)
You and Doug have been through a lot together, haven't you?

Carol (smiles):
Mark tell you that?
(Nina shrugs)
Well, the truth is, Doug and I have been just about as far up and down the ladder with each other as two people could possibly be.
(pauses in thought)
But, I kind of like where we are now. We communicate now. That's something we didn't do much of before. I think we have more in common with each other now. But, I think he's still afraid to let me too close to him. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever know all there is to know about him.

Nina:
But, you love him? Right?

Carol (nods with a smile):
I honestly do. At least I'm sure of that much. There's just...some times...I still have doubts in the back of my mind about him. That's judging from the past, I know, and that's not really fair because Doug has changed a lot...especially recently...still...sometimes it just slips back. Like the night he was attacked? And he didn't show up at Carlucci's? Instead of being worried and thinking something happened, I was mad at him and thinking he just stood me up...

Nina (smiles):
Something he used to do before?

Carol (rolls her eyes):
All the time. Or he'd show up drunk! But, I knew better than that, Nina! I knew something had to be wrong, yet, I just zeroed in on anger...

Nina (smiles):
To override your fear...perfectly normal. Once you knew something was wrong, then what?

Carol (laughs lightly):
I spent the night pacing my living room with the phone in my hand waiting for it to ring.

Nina:
And when you knew what was wrong you were right there beside him every step of the way. He could have had no doubts in his mind about your concern. You handled the situation perfectly. Some of it was your training...the rest of it was your heart.

Carol (smiles):
Thanks, Nina. I think I needed that right now.

Nina:
Have you and Doug talked much about your feelings for each other since you got back together?

Carol (shakes her head):
Nothing in depth. We've surfaced talked a lot. But, nothing big.

Nina:
We're having a group session tomorrow night...did he mention this to you?

Carol (nods):
Yeah, he mentioned that Mark was going to be here, too.
(Nina nods and makes a note on the folder in front of her)
You think he's ready for that yet?

Nina (looks up and smiles):
I do. I also think he's ready for below the surface conversation with you. I think you two need to talk a little deeper. And soon. You need to tell him how you feel and see what kind of feedback you get.

Carol (purses her lips):
Doug is very good at control. Sometimes it's hard to break him open...

Nina (chuckles):
TELL me about! Every time I think I've got him on the edge he finds a strand of strength to hold back with. But, I'm thinking this group session may be the answer...

Carol (sighs):
Doug has so many demons...

Nina (nods):
Yes, he does. He has his father...and his son....his love/hate relationship with Mark...and his past with you. Among other things. But, I honestly think he can find some way to put them all in place and live a happy life. He has that ability. He just hasn't found the key yet.

Carol (gathers her jacket and her purse):
Thanks, Nina. Thanks for seeing me on short notice.

Nina (makes a note):
Anytime, Carol. And I'll see you tomorrow.

Cut scene.

Open next scene in Chicago, exterior. Doug and Carol are standing on a walkway near the lake and just gazing out over the water. We hear the sounds of seagulls and people passing near by them. Focus on Doug as he leans on the rail and looks out. Cut to show Carol standing close beside him, also leaning on the rail. She reaches over and touches his shoulder gently. He turns to her and smiles, reaching for her hand.

Carol (smiles):
You don't jump when I touch you from behind now...that's a good sign.

Doug (grins):
I knew it was you. If we were in a dark parking port, it might have been different.

Carol:
What are you thinking about?

Doug (shrugs):
Nothing. Everything. I don't know...

Carol:
You're still having nightmares, aren't you?
(Doug nods)
Well, have you talked to Nina about them?

Doug (fidgets nervously...looks at his feet):
We talk about so many things...I think I'm just really nervous about this group session.

Carol (surprised):
Why? It's just Mark! And Me! Is our being there going to cause you problems?

Doug (shrugs):
I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this. Especially with Mark right now...

Carol (very surprised):
Why? What's wrong between you and Mark?
(Doug doesn't answer...only shrugs)
Are you still upset over your mistake?
(Doug glances at his hands but says nothing)
Was Mark angry when he spoke with you?

Doug:
Didn't seem to be...but he can't let me get by with things like that for long. And now that it's happened, he'll be watching me even closer.

Carol:
You should talk to him...Mark is your friend...

Doug (cuts her off):
Mark is my boss first...friendship is secondary and it only comes after hours...

Carol (disappointed look):
That's not fair, Doug. Mark goes out of his way to help you in every situation there is. He knows you're a good person...and a great doctor...he's overlooked things and you know it. You just want to be angry at someone right now and he's an easy target for you. That's all.

Doug (grins at her):
I guess you're right...

Carol:
You could be resisting a breakthrough, Doug. This could be the key to your recovery.

Doug (scoffs):
Breakdown is more like it...

Carol (shakes her head):
No, that's not true. A breakthrough is something that helps you. A breakdown is just the opposite.

Doug:
Either way you lose control...

Carol:
Well, there's a big difference between losing control in an ER trauma unit where an innocent life might pay the price and losing control on a nap mat in a shrink's office in the arms of a couple of close friends. I know which one I'd choose if it were me.
(Doug doesn't answer...just shrugs and continues to look out over the lake)
What are you afraid of?
(Doug doesn't answer)
Afraid you're gonna come apart at the seams? You don't want Mark or me to see you cry?
(Doug gives her a hard look, shrugs, and looks back out over the water)
It's hard to give up control, Doug. I know. I had to do that my own self. I had to let go of everything inside me that was keeping me from progressing forward in my life and get it out. And it was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life....to let myself just crumple on the floor in a heap like a rag doll and let down every guard I ever had. It wasn't easy. But, I knew that if I didn't do it, I was never gonna get any better. That nothing was gonna change. And the cycle was just going to start all over again. Is that what you want?

Doug (snaps quickly):
You know it's not...

Carol:
Then you have to change it! And you're the only one who can do it. We can all help you, but you have to take that first step. I did it. And I was scared. But, it was OK. I've never been sorry...

Doug (shakes his head):
I was never there for you. I wanted to be...so much...I just didn't know how to be. Yet, you've been right here with me the whole time...
(turns to her)
How do you do that?

Carol (smiles):
I love you. I don't want anything to happen to you and the best way to see that it doesn't it to just take care of you myself. Nobody ever needed me for anything before, Doug. It's good to know I can make a difference...

Doug:
You make a difference to people every day...

Carol (nods):
But not to people I love. Are you afraid of love, Doug?
(Doug shrugs)
You put this ring on my finger
(Carol holds her hand up quickly)
And I took that as a commitment...that you love me...and that you want us to be together...is that what it means to you?

Doug (hurt expression):
You don't think I love you?

Carol:
That isn't what I asked you. I have no doubts about your feelings for ME. It's your feelings for our future I might have concerns about right now. Does this ring represent the same thing to you that it does to me? Or did you just give it to me because you thought it was what I wanted from you?
(Doug doesn't answer....just lets her hammer away at him)
You've changed...a lot...I see it everyday. But, there's a part of me that wonders if it can last. I guess I just can't forget some of the past. And I'll tell you this right now, Doug...if I catch you with another woman, it's over. Completely, and totally. And there won't be another chance. Ever. I will NOT go through that with you again. Do I make myself clear in that?

Doug (nods):
If I blow it this time, I wouldn't even ask you for another chance. I only begged for this one because I felt like things could be different this time.

Carol (leans on the rail with him):
Are you having doubts about that now?

Doug (shakes his head):
No.
(looks at her and smiles)
After we broke up, you were all I thought about. I looked for you in every woman I was with. You can ask any of them I was with about that. They'll all tell you they got tired of hearing about you.
(turns to her and takes her by the shoulders)
There's not another woman on this earth that I want to be with. And no matter what it takes, I will be the man you need me to be...I am trying with every ounce of strength in my heart to change and it's a constant, daily fight! But, it's worth it to me if the end result is you. God knows you deserve better, but, I promise, I'll do everything I can to make you happy.

Carol (wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him sweetly):
You just did.
(eyes him with a smile)
Everything is gonna be OK...

Doug nods and puts his hand in hers and they start off the boardwalk together.

Fade Act Three to Black.

"ER"

"Stages of Recovery"

Act Four

Scene opens in Nina Pomerantz' office...Doug, Mark, and Carol are present with her. She spreads mats out on the floor and invites the group to join her on them in a circle. Doug is stationed carefully in the middle between Mark and Carol and Nina sits at the head of the circle.

Nina (cheerfully):
OK, what I want us to do today is try and clear some air. There's some feelings lingering around between all of you that we need to get rid of. So, Doug, what I want you to do is start with Mark. I want you to turn to him and tell him what's on your mind right now. And be honest.

Doug (confused):
On my mind about what?

Nina:
About anything. About anything between you and Mark. Is there anything bugging you right now where Mark is concerned.

Doug (eyes her carefully):
That wasn't his fault...I was the one who screwed up...he was just doing his job...

Nina:
That wasn't what I said, was it? So, why would you automatically zero in on your mistake to start with?

Doug (scoffs):
You tricked me.

Mark (to Doug):
You aren't upset about that, are you? Because I wasn't upset with you that you made the mistake...I was concerned that you might be under too much pressure too soon after the incident...
(Doug doesn't answer...carefully picks at a shoestring)
Doug, the idea of putting you off work for two days wasn't suspension or punishment. I thought you understood that. There was nothing to this other than I thought you needed some rest...

Doug (cuts in gruffly):
You thought, YOU thought, everything is what YOU think! You don't even bother to ask me, Mark!

Mark (shoots it right back at him):
Well, even if I DID ask you, you would just say everything was OK whether it was or not! I have to go with my own judgment on most things, Doug! I can't trust you to tell me the truth...

Doug (appalled):
You honestly think that I would deliberately put a human life on the line for the sake of my own vanity!? If you don't know me better than that, you don't know me at all. You need to stop being my boss all the time, Mark...sometimes I just need a friend.

Mark looks at Nina for help and Nina gives him a forward motion with her hands.

Mark (softly):
You're right.
(nods)
I do tend to look at things from a professional point of view. Maybe sometimes I don't look past the surface. I'm sorry about that. I'll try and watch that.

Doug (looks at Nina carefully, then back at Mark):
I'll try and communicate a little better. I don't do a very good job of that sometimes. I try to work things out on my own without letting people who can help me give me a hand.
(reaches his hand to Mark to shake)
Dan Raypert has a letter I wrote to you a while back when I first started therapy. Maybe I'll get him to let you read it one of these days.

Doug grins, Mark returns the handshake and Nina smiles.

Nina:
This is what I want to see...some good honest feelings coming out here. Now, turn to Carol and do the same thing...whatever is bothering you about the relationship, get it out.

Doug (clears his throat and turns to face Carol...looks her directly in the eye):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you down so many times. I'm sorry I cheated on you and I'm sorry I hurt you. But, mostly, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that night...

Carol (shakes her head):
It wasn't you, Doug. You have GOT to let yourself off the hook for that. You were NOT the reason I took all those pills. I don't know what it takes to get you to understand that!

Doug (confused....suddenly not aware anyone else is in the room):
Then why did you? I never asked you because I was afraid for the answer. But, if it wasn't me, then what was it?

Carol (looks carefully at Nina, then turns back to Doug):
It was just me, OK? It was a lot of things together and no one thing in particular, OK? It was just something that happened...a spur of the moment thing...but, it wasn't your fault.
(touches his cheek with her fingertips)
You have GOT to believe that, OK?

Carol looks at Doug with big eyes and lets a tear slip down her cheeks. He reaches out quickly and gently catches the tear on his fingers, brushing it away. He looks at her with a confused look, cocks his head to one side, and tears form in his own eyes.

Doug (child-like voice):
Don't cry...I'll take care of you.

Carol looks at Nina carefully...flash the camera to Mark to show his look also does not understand what is happening. Nina touches Doug's shoulder gently.

Nina (softly):
What is it, Doug? What's wrong?

Doug (looks at Carol):
It'll be OK, Mom. I'll take care of you. Don't cry.

Nina realizes Doug is having a flashback into his childhood and she gives Carol a forward motion with her hands for her to play along with him.

Carol (to Doug):
I can't help it, Doug...I can't help crying. I'm very sad right now.

Doug:
Dad will come back. I'll be a good boy. If I'm not bad, he won't go away. Don't cry. I'll be good...

Mark (in a whisper to Nina):
He thinks his old man never hung around because he was a bad kid?

Nina (nods):
This is the child I've been trying to reach. This child needs to know that the problems between his parents were NOT his fault...

Mark:
Surely he already knows that...

Nina:
As an adult, yes, I'm sure he does, but, this child doesn't. Just intercede for Ray. Just tell him it wasn't his fault. That's all he needs to hear...

Mark:
Me?

Nina:
I'll explain it all to you later just please, Mark, don't lose this moment!

Mark nods and reaches over to touch Doug's shoulder gently. Doug turns his attention to Mark, but, stays close to Carol.

Mark (quietly):
It's OK, Doug. It wasn't your fault.

Doug (child-like...and angry):
Why didn't you stay! We needed you!

Mark (shakes his head...searches for words):
It was just me, OK? I just wasn't cut out to be a family man, that's all. It was my fault, Doug...

Doug:
If I'd been good....

Mark (shakes his head):
No, it wasn't that...it was me...it was all just me.

Nina (touches Doug's shoulder):
Doug, I think right now you should lie down on the mat and take a nap, OK? I need to talk to your parents alone, OK?

Doug (nods):
OK.

Nina motions Carol and Mark up off the mat while Doug curls up on it. Back across the room, the three adults converse together.

Nina:
Don't worry, he'll be fine. Your tears just triggered him, that's all.

Mark (confused):
He thinks his father ran off because he was a bad kid?

Nina:
I think that may have been the original idea. Now, I think he just associates separation with bad behavior...a pattern he has never changed throughout his life.

Mark (shakes his head):
I'm not sure I follow.

Nina:
Well, think about it...his father ran off and he thinks it was because he was a bad kid. He had a relationship with a woman who had his child, but, he didn't owe up to his responsibility, so, she took his child and she left. He got involved with a nurse that he fell in love with, but, he cheated on her and she broke the relationship.
(looks at Carol, who covers her mouth with realization of the connections Nina is making)
And then she took an overdose of pills and he thought he was going to lose her forever. He didn't lose her in life, but, he thought he lost any chance for the relationship because she got engaged to another man. He was told his Fellowship at this hospital would not be renewed not for his professional behavior, but, for undesirable personal behavior and he was going to be taken away from the only family he ever had. For his behavior with Nadine he was treated like a leper in this facility for quite a while. It all fits the same pattern...his behavior separates him from the things he loves. That's why he's trying so hard to change it.

Carol (backs against the wall and gazes at Doug resting on the mat):
My God, Nina! And he's been carrying this around what? Twenty four years?

Nina (nods):
It's had a long time to grow, that's for sure. You see, Mark, your authority is part of the key here. Like a child craves it from a parent, Doug wants you to control him. He WANTS you to pull the reins in on him. This hospital is his family...his home. You are the authority figure he never had but always wanted. He turns to you for advice...for companionship...and for recreation. He couldn't get it as a child, but, he can get it from you now.

Mark (confused):
And this is a good thing?

Nina (smiles):
It's a very good thing...because just like a child who is punished by a parent knows he is cared for, your authority over Doug that he allows you to control him is a sign he respects you...otherwise, he wouldn't care what you think.

Mark (nods and smiles):
Makes sense.

Carol:
What about me? Surely I'm not a mother figure?

Nina (shakes her head with a smile):
No...you're his best friend...his lover...and his soul mate. He trusts you with every secret he has ever had and one he never even kept from you...

Carol (sighs):
The attack?

Nina (nods):
Yes. Mark he went to without question because he knew Mark would be a doctor first and his friend after it was over. But, letting Mark call you was the turning point for him. He knew in his heart that if you could still love him knowing his darkest secret, he would be OK.

Carol:
So, this is a breakthrough?

Nina:
Oh, yes. And a good one. But, don't think the road is coming to an end. There's still a lot of demons to work on.

Carol:
Well, just like I told him, we'll face them together....and one at a time.

Nina:
He won't be up to anything else today...why don't you two just take him home?

Carol and Mark nod and go over to the mat together. Mark reaches down and gets Doug by one arms, shaking him awake gently.

Mark (softly):
Doug? Come on, Buddy...on your feet...the party's over...it's time to go home!

Doug lets Mark get him up and the three of them leave together. Carol stops at the door and smiles at Nina.

Carol:
Thanks. Thanks for caring so much about him. I know shrinks care, but, I can't help feeling you're a little more than professionally involved in all this.

Nina doesn't answer, only smiles.

Last scene is Mark and Carol supporting Doug as they wait for the elevator.

Fade Act Four to Black.

"ER"

"Stages of Recovery"

Closing Act

Scene opens at the hospital with Doug and Mark in a room together in private conference. Mark is making notes on a chart and Doug waits.

Mark (doesn't look up):
OK, I'm medically releasing you...not because I want to but because I don't have any reason to keep you under medical advisory. I want you to keep your sessions with Nina and I want you to TELL ME if things get too crazy around here for you.

Doug (nods):
You got it.

Mark (looks up):
I MEAN it, Doug. You need to communicate with me. That's something we need to work on.

Doug (nods again):
We will. I promise.

Mark (nods):
OK, then, how are you feeling?

Doug (shrugs):
A little zapped, but, otherwise OK. Can I come back to work?

Mark:
You bet you can...I need you!

Mark slaps Doug on the back and the two of them start off to work together.

Cut scene.

Open next scene on the hospital roof with Doug and Carol. They are drinking coffee and taking a break.

Carol (quietly):
Something I wanted to talk to you about.

Doug (smiles at her):
OK! What is it?

Carol:
It's about your son...I think you should try and find him.
(Doug gives her a surprised look)
I mean, I know I don't know all the wheres and whys of what happened back then, but, that's none of my business anyway. That was before I even knew you and that doesn't matter. But, what does matter to me is that there's a little boy out there someplace who might be wondering about his Dad and I just think he deserves the chance to know about him.

Doug (smiles):
You're really something, you know?

Carol (shrugs):
Have you ever thought about trying to find him?

Doug (nods):
Yeah, a couple of times, actually. I just always chickened out. But, Nina says it's time to face my fears, so, maybe this is the time I can go through with it.
(turns to her)
Will you help me?

Carol (smiles):
I wouldn't have brought it up if I didn't intend to help!

Doug just smiles at her and slips his arm around her as they head back for the door.

Cut scene.

Open last scene at the hotel Ray Ross owns in Chicago. Doug comes in and spots Ray at the bar and strolls over to him.

Ray (delighted):
Doug! Good to see you, Son!

Doug (nods):
Got a minute? I'd like to talk to you in private?

Ray (nods):
Sure! Step into my office...

Ray leads Doug over to a room and closes the door behind them.

Doug (nervously):
This isn't easy for me to say, but, I just want you to listen, OK? When we first got together way back when, you said something to me that didn't make any sense then, but it does now, OK? You told me you were responsible for what happened to me as a kid, but, that I was an adult now and how I lived my life was my own decision. Well, I got to thinking about that, and you're right. I'm calling the shots in my life now. And if I screw it up, I got nobody to blame but myself now. So, basically what I'm saying to you, Ray, is that I'm letting you off the hook. It's not your fault I turned my life into the mess it's been in lately. I will take responsibility for my mistakes.
(Ray only listens...does not interrupt)
You aren't the father I wanted, but, you're the one I got. And, you can never be my father, anyway. It's way too late for that. But, I'd like us to find some way to work out our differences and just be friends. Do you think you can do that?

Ray (nods...genuinely touched):
I know I sure as hell want to try.

Doug (smiles...then chuckles):
Me too.
(reaches his hand to shake and Ray meets him halfway)
I'll call you, OK?

Ray (nods):
OK.

Doug turns and walks back out into the Chicago street, turns his collar to the wind, and disappears into the night.

Fade to black.

5/10/97