“Second Chances”

(first installment)

This is a Doug and Carol story...make no mistakes about that. But, I did not label it as an “ER” story for the simple fact that it IS a Doug and Carol story, not necessarily an “ER” story.

This is also MY story. Yes, it is based on the characters on “ER”.  Yes, most of the names you will read in it are names you already know. But, they will be very different than you are used to seeing them if you are an avid watcher of the show. The time frame is not established with anything other than it is when Doug and Carol first meet. How far back that was, we have no idea by the lines drawn in this story. The placement of the characters is also not going to be accurate. For example, you will meet John Carter in this story as a third year medical school student. Later, you will meet Kerry Weaver as being on staff less than a year. Now, by reality of the show, you know that when John Carter was a third year medical school student, Kerry Weaver was not on staff at County. Get the picture? The characters are there as I want to place them...not as they were written for the show.

And the main characters, Doug and Carol, are also very different...Carol less so than Doug (at least so far, anyway). But, Doug is VERY different. And their relationship’s beginning is very different. And their story will be very different.

This is only the first installment of this story and I had a hard time deciding where to break it to send it out to all of you who are reading it.  This story (I hope, anyway) will continue until I finish it and I DO know exactly how I will end it. I just don’t know how long it’s going to take to get it there. The title will never change. There are no ‘chapters’ or ‘parts’ - just one long story. But, for the sake of people reading it, I am sending it out in installments.

If after reading this first installment you decide this story is not for you, please tell me so I can take your name off the mailing list for future installments. You won’t hurt my feelings at all as I am already fully aware that this story is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea because it does not run true with the show.

I’ve wanted to write this for a long time...do things my way...and change the things I don’t like about the characters on the show. I hope it’s fun for some of you at least.

The characters in this story are not mine...they belong to Warner Brothers and NBC under the trade name of “ER”. No money is made by me for the use of any of them in this story and this story is for entertainment purposes only.

Robin


“Second Chances”


Rain was pouring out of the Chicago sky as Carol Hathaway turned the collar of her jacket up around her head and began her routine jog from the El platform. She dashed down the steps and kept running until she made it through the emergency room entrance and into County ER. Shaking the rain off her as she went, she headed quickly for the employees lounge and her locker for something dry to put on.  She hung the wet jacket on the locker door while she fished for something to tie her
dark, curly hair back in so it could dry.

“Is it raining out?” Mark Greene piped up from across the room. A tall, slightly balding man with small round glasses on his face, he stirred his coffee in the cup and held both hands around it as he sipped it gingerly.
“Duh!” Carol nodded shortly. “Is there anymore of that?” she motioned to his coffee cup.
“Yeah, I just made a fresh pot.”
“Great!” She slammed her locker shut and started across the room. “I need something warm” She poured a cup of coffee for herself and let the steam from it rise up around her face.
“How are you doing, Carol?” Mark’s voice was gentle. “You doing OK?”
“I’m fine, Mark” her tone was somewhat annoyed but not angry.
“It’s just that I know you’ve been going through a rough time, what with everything that happened with David, and all...”
“I don’t want to talk about David, OK? It’s over. It’s done. And I’d really just rather forget about the whole bad experience.”
“I understand” he nodded.
“But, I do appreciate your concern” she smiled slightly at him and he grinned at her. “Thanks.”
“Just looking out for our own” he told her. “Looks like it may be a slow night tonight” he commented as he started out of the lounge.
“Not with this rain” Carol shook her head before he got out the door. “We wouldn’t be that lucky” she mumbled aloud to herself once he was gone.

The windshield wipers were slapping back and forth as fast as they could go and Doug Ross still could barely see the road ahead of him as he drove cautiously along Highway 41 into Chicago. It didn’t help that his mind was constantly replaying two scenes he had just recently gone through, either. The first scene had been as he packed up the car to leave. He stood facing her, his eyes sad, but desperate.

“I have to leave” he told her. “I hope you can understand that I just can’t possibly stay. Not after everything that’s happened. The DA is going to hound me for the rest of my life, I’m sure of it. So, I have to get out of here.”  Carefully, he reached a flower over to her and the pulled his hand back to put it in his pocket. “I ’ll miss you.  And maybe I can come back someday.” A gentle kiss to his fingertips and a hint of a tear in his eye and he walked away quickly, to get into the car, and drive away without once looking back.

The second scene had been just before he got on the highway to start into the city.   He thought about how he held her close in his arms and cuddled her on his shoulder, stroking her back and kissing her hair.

“Bye, bye, Baby” he whispered to her softly. “You know that I love you. I’ll send for you when I get where I’m going and we’ll be together again, OK? And nobody will ever try to take you away from me again. I promise.”

He kissed her sweetly and then he left her there, to leave the room as quickly as possible and get on the road before he changed his mind.

Now, he was heading into the Chicago city looking for the interstate connection that would take him away from everything.

Carol shuffled through the stack of charts at her station and sighed.  The ER was surprisingly quiet and she wanted to get as much work done as she could before that changed. Just twenty-nine years old, a charge nurse of two years, she took her responsibilities seriously. She was a no-nonsense nurse, but she was not without a sense of humor and enjoyed a good laugh as much as anyone else. She just simply thought the ER was not the place for cutting up much.

“Carol, did you get that insurance information on John Mittamyer that I asked you for yesterday?” Mark Greene was suddenly back at the desk from out of nowhere. His attention was on the chart in his hands.
“Yeah, I put it in your box” Carol answered him without even looking up. “Thanks” he nodded to her, and started off for his box, still looking over the chart as he walked slowly along.

Mark Greene was the Senior Resident and ER Attending Physician at just thirty years old. It was a position he had lobbied hard for and performed his duties with accuracy and determination. Every life that came through the ER doors was on the line and he made sure they had every fighting chance that could be given to them. His depended on his staff to do the same, even in his absence, which wasn’t often. He knew he spent far too much time at the hospital and often wondered what the consequences of that would be on his seven year marriage. But, he couldn’t think about that now...there was work to be done. 

Carol turned on the radio just to have some noise filter through the room. The desk was buzzing with other nurses, Jerry, the desk clerk, and several other doctors looking for their charts, but to Carol, it seemed she was all alone.  The radio began to play a soft tune and Carol closed her eyes when she heard it. The clear strands of the country band, Alabama, filtered through the speakers...

[It’s her first night on the town since she was just eighteen...a lady down on love and out of hope and dreams...the ties that once bound her now are broke away...and she’s like a baby just learning how to play...]

The world seemed to stand still to Carol as she listened to the words behind the soft music, her mind focused on a picture she could not get out of her mind.

[Now she’s a lady down on love...she needs somebody to gently pick her up...she’s got her freedom but she’d rather be bound to a man who would love her and never let her down...]

“Carol?” a voice beside her diverted her attention away from the music.   She turned her head to see Lydia Wright handing her something to sign.   “Are you OK?”  Lydia asked her in a concerned voice.
“I’m fine” she nodded, trying to force a smile.
“Maybe you should change the station?”
“Doesn’t matter what station is on, Lydia...something always makes me think about David...” she told her sadly, signing the time card as she sighed heavily. “I guess I need more time than I thought” she smiled sadly.
“He’s not worth it, Carol” Lydia shook her head. “There’s plenty of other fish in the sea.”
“Yeah, but I’m not very good at fishing” Carol told her quietly.

David West...dashing...charming...a lady’s man to end all ladies men.  He was a Surgical Resident and one of Chicago’s most promising up and comings in the field. When he came to County, just three years before, Carol had fallen head over heels in love with him almost instantaneously.. They had dated for over a year, heavily and seriously. Carol was sure he was going to ask her to marry him but the proposal never came. When he realized how serious she was getting, he abruptly broke off the relationship and now they only saw each other when he was called to the ER for surgical consult. He had easily put their relationship out of his mind, but Carol had not been so fortunate. She was still in love with him and was having a hard time getting past what they had. Just to see him made her heart leap to her throat so she tried to avoid any contact with him that she could.

“Well, I wouldn’t worry about it” Lydia pulled her mind back to the present. “Most of the fish are sharks, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Carol snickered in agreement with her. “With big teeth!”

The two of them made ‘alligator motions’ with wide arms and fingers pointed into teeth, snapping the mouth by clapping their palms and laughed together at their private joke. Lydia turned away to check the duty board behind the desk and Carol started back on clearing out the basket she was working on before the music interrupted her thoughts.

Across town, Doug Ross rubbed his hand across the inside of the windshield trying to clear the mist that was forming on it. Even the defroster wasn’t clearing it fast enough for him to see where he was going. He was considering pulling off the road, but his father had always taught him he was safer on it in turbulent weather than being a sitting duck on the shoulder, so he kept moving. To help him through, he reached over and turned on the radio, hoping the music would let his mind focus on something besides the weather. The first song he picked up was no help...the sound of thunder and then a steady rain came through the speakers before the words...

[Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain...telling me just what a fool I’ve been...I wish that it would go and let me cry in vein and let me be alone again...]

Doug shook his head and reached for the tuning search button.

“I don’t think so” he mumbled aloud, letting the scanner find another station in range. The next song was already started when the station came through and the words hammered through the speakers...

[...taxi cabs leave in the night....greyhound buses with red tail lights...someone is leaving and someone’s left behind...I don’t know how things got that way but everywhere you look these days somebody’s always saying good-bye...]

“And that’s worse!” Doug thought aloud and he reached to hit the search button again, hoping to find something that didn’t make him think about everything going on in his life right now. Another station brought soft guitar strumming that he recognized almost instantly and he reached to change it but hesitated long enough to hear it start...

[People smile and tell me I’m the lucky one...and we’ve just begun...I think I’m gonna have a son...he will be like him and me as free as a dove...conceived in love...the sun is gonna shine above...]

“Just isn’t gonna be my night!” Doug chuckled as he reached to change the station again.

One hand on the steering wheel and the other reaching for the radio search button, his eyes veered off the road for just one instant. And in that one instant, the car hydroplaned from the pools of water on the pavement and skidded off the road towards the shoulder. Doug’s head snapped back up and he gripped the wheel with both hands, trying with all his might to right the car back onto the road, spinning the wheel the opposite direction and hard as he possibly could. But, the force of the weather was stronger than he was and the car continued it’s skid across the rain slick pavement. Now fully aware that there was nothing he could do to prevent the inevitable, Doug began to curse the fact that he was wearing a seat belt, preventing him from getting his feet out from under the dashboard if the front of the car happened to crumple. All he could do was cover his head with his arms and fall as far as the seat belt would allow him towards the passenger’s seat, hoping the windshield didn’t shatter when the car made impact.  The first thing he heard was the crunch of the fender as the car slid into the embankment. Then he heard the smashing of the headlight as the fender crumpled and the force of being out of place forced the glass to shatter. The passenger’s door slammed into the resting site and folded in quickly, causing Doug to pull back away from it so as not to be pinned in with it as the car finally came to rest. Doug carefully sat up and slowly peered through the cracked windshield and the pouring rain carefully, afraid to move much until he knew what the car was resting on, as the mere shift of weight from his body caused the body to teeter just a bit. He could see the guardrail ahead of him, leading across an overpass bridge and he knew he was close to a hillside. Carefully, he tried the driver’s door, but with the frame of the car buckled by the impact, the door wouldn’t budge. Frustrated, he leaned his head back against the headrest, running his hands through his shaggy brown hair, he tried to calm his shaking nerves. It was then, and only then, that he realized there was blood on his hands. Alarmed, he turned his hands over two or three times, looking them over carefully, before he determined the blood must have come from his head. Carefully, he began to feel around his head with both hands until he found the gash, just above the hairline over the left eye. He looked back to the passengers door to see a jagged piece of metal sticking right where his head had been, and there was blood on the tip of it. He hadn’t even felt it when his skin had been pierced and ripped away by this.

“Hey, Buddy!” A voice was shouting above the rain and a fist was lightly pounding on the window beside his ear. “You OK?”

Doug turned his attention to see bright lights were now shining behind him. Looking to the window he saw a large, burly man, his jacket turned against the rain and his face trying hard to peer into the car.

“I’m hurt” Doug shouted to him. “I have a cell phone but it’s in the back and I can’t reach it! I need an ambulance!”
“No problem! I’m a trucker....got a CB in the cab...I’ve already called one...should be here any minute” came the reply.
“OK, Thanks!” Doug called back to him. “We’ll let them handle it...I’ll wait.”

Knowing that help was coming, Doug leaned his head back again and closed his eyes, his body now starting to feel the pain of injuries he wasn’t even aware of yet.

“Not now, Kate...” he whispered into the dark and quiet of the stock still car. “No way I’m coming to you now.”

Doug fixed his eyes on the rearview mirror, watching and waiting to see the red flashing lights of the ambulance arriving reflecting in it as pain began to sear sharply through his body at a racing pace. He closed his eyes, just for one minute...

“County ER, this is Sigmund 726, come in please.”  Carol turned her attention to the crackling MICN radio behind her.  She put down her pen and snatched up the microphone set quickly, squeezing the talk button and holding the black box close to her mouth.

“This is County ER, go ahead, 726.”
“One car collision on Highway 41...transporting only occupant to you...estimated arrival in less than three minutes.”
“Preparations?”
“Caucasian male, approximately 32-35 years old, bleeding from the forehead and unconscious...possibility of internal injuries.”
“We’ll be ready for you, 726. County - out!” She put the microphone down and sprang quickly into action. “Jerry! Page Mark Greene down here, please!”
“Right away!” came the quick reply.
“Lydia, we’re gonna need about 4 units of “O” neg and probably some Ringers...just put them in Trauma Two...”
“Right away, Carol.”
“What’s coming, Carol?!” Mark Greene came running down the hallway.
“One car collision...lone occupant of the vehicle is bleeding from the forehead and unconscious...should be here any minute!”
“OK, people, let’s get ready! Time to go to work!”

Carol and Mark were both watching the door of the ambulance bay in anticipation, waiting for the victim to arrive when they saw the red flashing lights backing into the bay close to the doors. The two of them rushed to the doors and pushed them open almost before the paramedics were around to the back to open the ambulance door. Slowly, the victim was eased out of the back to the waiting, helping hands. One paramedic kicked the wheels of the gurney down and the four of them began to run the victim into the ER.

“BP is 108/70...pulse is 63...” one paramedic began giving the vital stats to Mark.
“Take him to Trauma Two” Mark told them sharply, as they wheeled him down the hall, evening the gurney with the trauma table quickly. “On my count, OK?” Mark told his team. “One...” on that count, the team of nurses and medical students gripped the sheet on the gurney tightly in both hands, “Two...” on the count of two, each person lifted upward, pulling the sheet up around the patient, “Three!” on this count, everyone motioned forward and swiftly transferred the patient from the gurney to the table with ease.
“Oh my God!” Lydia exclaimed, once the patient was on the trauma table. “Is that David?”

No one looked faster than Carol, who shifted her attention to the table at once. The man on the table caused her to do a double-take, but, finally, she breathed a sigh of relief.

“No” she shook her head. “There’s no tattoo” she pointed to the back of the patient’s hand, which sported only dirt and blood.
“Well, that’s the only difference, then” Lydia remarked as the team went to work cutting the patient’s clothes away from his body.
“Well, let’s hope there’s more than just one” Mark snickered at his own comment.
“Dialysis patient” Carol brought Mark’s attention to a silver and gold medic alert bracelet on the patient’s left arm, “CCPD.”
“OK, watch out for a catheter in the abdominal area” Mark told the team as he pulled his stethoscope from around his neck and put it in his ears to listen to the patient’s chest. “See if he’s carrying any ID” he ordered to anyone who might be listening.
“Carol, start an IV, Lydocaine, slow drip.”
“Right away, Mark” Carol nodded, grabbing the supplies she would need and swabbing the back of Doug’s hand briskly before inserting the needle.

At the prick of the needle, Doug began to groan on the table as he became aware that something was happening around him. He could hear the voices. He could feel the hands. He could feel the cold metal of the clipping scissors against his bare leg as he jeans were cut away. He could feel the cool sheet being drawn up against him. Slowly, he fluttered his eyes open to look up into the caring and concerned face of Mark Greene.

“Where am I?” Doug mumbled quietly.
“You’re in a hospital” Mark offered him gently. “County ER. Can you tell me your name?” Mark looked over his shoulder at Lydia. “Good breath sounds...no sign of a collapsed lung” and Lydia wrote the information down on what would become Doug’s chart.
“Doug” Doug mumbled as he rolled his head to one side. Everything hurt and all he really wanted was for it to stop.
“Do you know your last name, Doug?” Mark coaxed him a little further.
“Ross” Doug nodded, rolling his head back in Mark’s direction. “How am I doing?”
“You’re gonna be just fine, Mr. Ross...you just relax and let us do our job, OK?”
“Actually, that’s supposed to be Dr. Ross” Lydia offered blankly as she stood at the table side with Doug’s open wallet in her hands. “Residence is 7921 Parkland Avenue, Apartment-Penthouse, New York City.”
“Do you have any family here, Dr. Ross?” Mark was feeling Doug’s ribs carefully.
“Not in Chicago, no.” Doug shook his head, closing his eyes against the pain Mark’s hands were inflicting.
“Does that hurt?” Mark asked him quickly.
“Yeah” Doug nodded, biting his lip just slightly.
“OK, what about this?” Mark placed one hand palm down on Doug’s stomach and abdominal area, pressing carefully by placing the other hand on top of it and pushing down.
“No” Doug shook his head. “I protected that pretty well...didn’t want to smash anything in there.”
“How long have you been on dialysis?” Carol was standing close to Doug’s head making her own notes on his chart.
“Almost two years” Doug rolled his head towards the voice and his eyes welled up with tears at the shock of what he saw when he looked at Carol.
“What caused your kidney failure?” she asked him in a quiet voice, trying to be comforting to him.
“I got hit in the back with a two by four” he told her in a monotone voice, never taking his eyes off her. Carol nodded, made an ‘O-K’ face with her eyes and wrote that down on his chart. “OW!” Doug cried out sharply, turning his attention quickly back to Mark. “That hurts!”
“Tenderness on the right side” Mark told Carol. “Set him up for x-ray.”  He looked down at Doug with a caring half smile. “Well, Dr. Ross, I’d say you’re pretty lucky. No signs of internal bleeding...a couple of cracked ribs...a few stitches to close that head wound...and you’ll be as good as new.”
“How long will I be stuck here?” Doug frowned.
“We can probably release you in a day or so unless you insist on leaving before then.”
“No, that’s OK” Doug rolled his head back to watch Carol and she recorded stats onto his chart. “I’ll stay.”

His work done, Mark pulled off his latex gloves and stuffed them in a disposal bin as he left the trauma room. The rest of the staff broke away, cleaning up as they went, until only Carol was left behind with Doug, who could not take his eyes off her, but watched her in such a way that he wasn’t making her nervous.

“Are you having a lot of pain?” Carol asked him softly.
“Not a lot, “ he shook his head, “No. But, some, yes” He shifted his eyes to glare up at the bottle. “What are you giving me? Lydocaine?”
“Yeah” Carol nodded, making a few more notes on his chart.
“2000?” Doug strained to see but couldn’t read the numbers on the bag.
“5000” Carol told him shortly.
“An all nighter, huh?” Doug chuckled a bit. “I guess that’s OK. Slow drip?”
“Yeah” Carol nodded again, and then smiled slightly at him. “You’ve done this before, I take it?”
“I used to work in an ER” Doug told her with a grin. “Seems like it was a long time ago, though.”
“Well, we need to get you up to x-ray and then I’ll get somebody to sew up that gash in your head” she told him, finally finishing with her writing. “Then, we’ll move you into a room and you can rest. Is there anybody you’d like me to call?”
“No” Doug shook his head as he puffed out his bottom lip slightly. “It’s OK.”
“What about your wife?” Carol motioned slightly to the gold and emerald wedding band on Doug’s left ring finger. “Wouldn’t you like me to call her, at least?”
“I’d love for you to call her” Doug told her quietly with a sad smile working the corner of his mouth. “But, I’m afraid that’s impossible.”
“Why is that? She’s not where there’s a phone?” Carol tried to be helpful.
“Yeah” Doug nodded shortly. “Something like that.”
“Well, OK” Carol tried to be cheerful. “If you change your mind, you can let me know.”
“I won’t change my mind” Doug told her in a quiet voice, shaking his head just slightly.
“I’ll get an orderly” Carol told him, and she started out of the room, leaving him there alone with this thoughts and his pain.

Carol watched from the front desk as an orderly in blue surgical scrubs wheeled Doug out of the trauma room and down the hall to the elevator. She caught sight of him watching her over his shoulder all the way down the hall and she felt her own self smile just a little.

“Careful” Lydia warned her quietly, stacking more charts in her basket.
“I’m just looking” Carol defended her actions quickly.
“That’s how it starts!” Lydia told her with a laugh.
“I can’t help it if he’s cute” Carol scoffed.
“He’s not cute...” Lydia informed her quickly.
“No, you’re right” Carol nodded. “He’s not cute...” she grinned with the thought that came out f her mouth next, “He’s gorgeous!”
“You’re hopeless, Carol!” Lydia shook her head as she walked away. Behind her she could hear Carol laugh lightly.

Over the next hour, the ER would see a series of fender bender patients from the rainy weather, but nothing very serious. Carol made sure John Carter had instructions to do the sutures on Doug Ross, and then she busied herself with the mounds of work that never seemed to stop piling up at the front desk.

John Carter was doing his ER rotation in his third year of medical school and was always very eager when he was asked to do things without a resident attendant watching over him. His primary interest was surgery, but his people-oriented personality made him a cinch in the ER with traumatically injured patients. He carried his suture kit into the room Doug Ross had been moved to following x-rays and pushed open the door to greet his patient with a smile.

“Hi! I’m John Carter! I’m here to sew up the...” John looked quickly at his order paper, looking for the wound area.
“...Gash in my head” Doug finished for him with a light chuckle.

Doug was sitting up in his bed, his back firmly supported by pillows, reading a Chicago newspaper. He was covered with a crisp, clean hospital gown, a sheet, and a blanket and seemed to be resting comfortably.
“Yeah” Carter nodded, a bit embarrassed that the patient knew before he did why he was there. “That’s right.”
“Well, OK, John Carter...let’s get to it.” Doug folded up his newspaper and tossed it aside.
“I’m really pretty good at this!” Carter told him proudly, spreading the blue drape over the wounded area to begin. “It won’t hurt a bit! I promise.”
“If you’re so good” Doug folded his arms across his chest, “how come you didn’t numb the area before you put the drape over it?”
“Oh yeah” Carter was flustered, and he fumbled nervously on his tray for the antiseptic he’d brought to numb the skin around the wound before suturing it.
“How many times have you done this by yourself, Kiddo?” Doug asked him quietly.
“Only a couple of times” Carter admitted shyly.
“Well, just take your time, OK? You know what you’re doing, just take your time and do it right, OK?”
“Yeah” Carter nodded. “Thanks for being so understanding. Most patients aren’t” he scrubbed the skin around the scalp briskly with the antiseptic pad until he was satisfied he had numbed the feeling in it well.
“Most of your patients probably aren’t doctors themselves.”
“You’re a doctor?” Carter seemed delighted at this news. “Are you joining the staff here?” Carter took a fresh drape and spread it over the wound carefully.
“No, I’m on my way West...guess I’m going to detained a little while on that.”
“I didn’t think your injuries were all that bad” Carter inspected the wound through the drape opening carefully before opening his suture kit.
“It’s not the injuries.” Doug shook his head. “My car is totaled!”
“Oh” Carter nodded, a bit nervously. “This might sting a little” He told Doug bluntly. “So, what kind of a doctor are you?” he wanted to know.
“I’m a Pediatric Researcher” Doug told him, wincing as the first prick of the suture needle pierced his scalp.
“Does it hurt?” Carter wanted to know.
“It’s OK. Go ahead.”
“Wait a minute!” Carter began to smile. “I know who you are! You wrote the article in last month’s Pediatric Journal about Pain Management in Oncology patients!”
“Yeah” Doug admitted shyly. “That was me.”
“I’ve read several of your articles...you’ve really given a lot of study to your project.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“I think you have some really great ideas about pain management...is there any reason you chose that particular area for research?”
“Yeah, I wanted to try and make things as comfortable and less frightening for kids as I can. People sometimes forget that they’re people with feelings and fears, too.”
“You’re so right. My little brother died of leukemia and he was in constant pain for about the last six months. I know my parents would have welcomed some of your methods for him if they would have helped him rest a little better.”  Carter pulled the suture thread through for the last stitch and laid his instruments back on the tray beside him. “There you are! All done.”
“Thanks...how soon can they come out?”
“I’d say in about a week.”
“Great...I’ll tell the doctor in California that when I get there.”
“California! That’s where you’re headed, huh?”
“Yep! Got a job and a friend waiting for me there!”
“Well, good luck to you” Carter smiled as he started out of the room.
“Thanks!” Doug carefully touched the bandage on his head and then relaxed to sink back into his pillow.

“So, how is our accident patient?” Mark asked Carol quietly as he sifted through the envelopes on the desk looking for x-rays.
“They’re not back yet” Carol told him, knowing what he was looking for.
“Well, what are they doing with them up there? Processing them through Kodak?” Carol shrugged at his remark with a smile. “OK, just let me know when they show up.”
“Sure. And he’s doing fine, by the way. He’s been really quiet. I’m getting ready to go in and clean him up a little.”
“OK, let me go in and talk to him for a few minutes and then you can do that, OK?”
“Sure.”

Mark went into his patient’s room and pretended to check the states on the machine beside his bed, but Doug knew better. He watched Mark carefully, arms folded, and suspicious eyes until he broke the tension between the two doctors quietly.

“Get those x-rays back yet?” he asked Mark with a light tone.
“No” Mark shook his head. “And I have no idea where they are, either”
“Probably sent them out by messenger dog to a 24 hour processing mart” Doug laughed. “That’s what we used to say, anyway!”
“And you probably weren’t too far from wrong, either, were you?”
“Not usually” Doug shook his head with a smile. “No.”
“How are you feeling?” Mark’s voice was quiet and professional as he leaned on the bed rail to chat with his patient.
“I’ve got a whopper of a headache” Doug admitted quietly.
“Are you having any dizziness or anything?” Mark immediately whipped out his penlight to lean across the rail and peer into Doug’s eyes.
“I don’t know” Doug told him truthfully. “I haven’t been on my feet yet to know. And take it easy with that thing, will you?” He winced into the light. “It feels like you’re sticking a dagger in my eye!”
“Well, you won’t be needing to worry about that tonight and we’ll see how you feel in the morning. You have a mild concussion, but, nothing really serious. We’ll keep a watch on it.”
“I have to stay here all night?” Doug made a sour face.
“I’d like for you, too, yes. Of course, I can’t make you, but, I think it's a good idea.”
“OK” Doug nodded. “You’re the doc!” He looked past Mark to see Carol working at the desk across from his room. “I’ll stay.”
“OK” Mark grinned. “That’s more like it. Now, do you have a cycler anywhere or do you need me to call Baxter and have them bring one up here?”
“Hey, that’s right! They are in Chicago, aren’t they?” Doug brightened with the realization. “I have one...but, it’s in the trunk of my car...where ever it is now.”
“It’s probably in impound by now...I’ll see if I can get it for you.”
“There’s a suitcase in there, too, and a laptop computer! If you can get them, take them, too. I’d really appreciate it.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“I have the cycler, and everything else I need in the suitcase except for dianeal...you have that laying around here close?”
“I can get some...what do you use?”
“Well, where I’m traveling, I’m retaining some fluid, so, I’m using 2.5% dextrose, two 5000 ml bags.”
“OK” Mark nodded, understanding. “I’ll get that for you. Anything else you need?”
“Something to eat?” He questioned.
“Sure, I’ll send someone to get you something. Any preference of poison?” Mark chuckled.
“I’ll eat just about anything right now.”
“OK! Well, if I can just get your x-rays back we’ll have everything taken care of for tonight and then maybe you can get some rest.”
“That would be nice.”
“Well, we’ll see what we can do, then.”

Mark gave him a final nod and then left the room to go back out to Carol at the front desk station.

“OK, I’m going to go down to impound and see if they’ll let me into the trunk of his car. He has a cycler in there, also a computer and a suitcase and none of that stuff has any business sitting in the trunk of a wreck vehicle!” Mark told Carol as he headed for the lounge to get his coat out of his locker. “So, I’ll be back in a little while, OK?” he tugged into the sleeves and returned to the desk.
“OK” Carol nodded.
“He’s hungry! Please see that he gets something to eat, OK?”
“The cafeteria is closed, what do you suggest I do?”
“Go over to Doc Magoos and get him something” Mark handed her a twenty dollar bill from his pocket. “He needs to eat.”
“OK” Carol nodded again, pocketing the money quickly.
“IF the x-rays happen to show up before I get back, you can give them to Kerry Weaver. Just tell her I had to go out and that I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Sure” Carol nodded that she understood.
“Oh, and one more thing” Mark turned back before he could get too far away.
“Call over to Baxter and have them pull him up on the computer. He’s going to need
some dianeal. He says everything else is in his suitcase but have them send one box of everything just in case I can’t get it or something has happened to some of it in the accident...”
“How do I know what to get?”
“They’ll have it all there on the computer. He says right now he’s using 2.5% dextrose in 5000 ml bags. Have them send a couple of boxes until we know where he’s going to be for a few days.”
“OK, Mark, I’ll handle it.”
“Thanks, Carol” he told her quietly. “I know I’ve asked you do a lot this evening. I do appreciate your help.”
“No problem, Mark” she smiled at him. “I don’t mind.”

Mark nodded silently and ventured on out into the rain, while Carol gathered up the things she would need for Doug’s bath.

“Lydia, if those x-rays on Doug Ross show up, page Kerry Weaver, OK?”   shecalled over her shoulder on the way across the hall.

Carol went into Doug’s room carrying a basin of water and the few things she needed for his bath. He sat up with a curious look at her as she started placing things on his table.

“What’s all this?”
“I thought we’d wash some of that mud and blood off of you” Carol smiled at him. “Might make you feel a little better”
“Can’t I just go take a shower?” he wanted to know, a bit of nervousness in his voice.
“Not by yourself” Carol shook her head. “You’re not steady enough on your feet for that. Now, if you want me to go down to the shower room with you and stand there while you shower, then that’s fine, but this is really easier on both of us”
“Well, just leave the water and the soap and pull the curtain and I’ll do it myself”
“Hello? Did you hear what I just told you? You can’t do this by yourself!” Carol laughed at his shyness. “What’s the matter, Dr. Ross? Are you shy about your body? You’re married, for heaven’s sake! You shouldn’t be shy! Although, I’m sure you’d probably rather have your wife doing this than me, I’m what you get!  I’m a nurse! I’m sure you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before!” she grinned at him. “You can keep your shorts on. And I’ll let you wash your private parts yourself.  How’s that?”
“OK” he nodded finally, peeling the covers back and reaching to slip out of his hospital gown. But she could tell he wasn’t happy about it.
“It won’t be so bad” she tried to reassure him with a smile. “It’ll make you feel better.”
“Maybe” he nodded.

Carol was busy preparing for his bath but she did notice that Doug couldn’t take his eyes off her. She tended not to pay much attention if men stared at her anyway. She always wondered what they saw that was so interesting to them.

“You know what?” she told him. “You’re going to get this water really dirty. I better get a fresh basin of clean water so you’re not rinsing in dirty water. I’ll be right back.”
“Sure.”

He watched her go every step of the way until she was out the door and gone from his sight. Once she was gone, he shook his head. He knew it was more than just an uncanny resemblance that was holding his attention on her...and he scolded himself silently. He knew he wasn’t ready to start thinking about things like that yet.

“Here we go!” she came back into the room with a smile and a sunny attitude. She sat the basin on his serving table and pushed it back out of the way for later use.
“We’ll just put this under you” she pulled out a plastic cover, “Roll to the left” she told him. When he did, she spread the plastic sheet so that when he rolled back he would be sitting in the middle of it. Carol couldn’t help but look him over.  He had the physique of an athlete...a man who obviously was active and took good care of himself. His muscles were toned and solid. She had to force herself to look away.
“Why does my shoulder hurt?” he asked her quietly, rubbing his shoulder gently with his palm. “I didn’t notice that before.”
“That’s because you had so much Demerol in you somebody could have slugged you and you probably wouldn’t have noticed!” she laughed. “Mark suspects shoulder separation but he needs the x-rays to be sure”
“Still waiting on those x-rays, huh?” he snickered. “I remember at Sinai we used to run a hospital pool on how long it would take to get them back sometimes.”
“You worked at Sinai?” she started the conversation with him as she soaked the sponge in the warm water. “Lean forward and I’ll start with your back.”
“Among other places” he nodded, leaning forward to grasp his legs with his hands and support him in his sitting position. “Have you always worked here?”
“Yeah” she nodded, squeezing the sponge so that the warm water trickled down his back.
“How long have you been here?” he tried to concentrate on the conversation and not to shiver from the feelings that were rushing through his body.
“Oh, a few years.” she gently rubbed the sponge over his skin, working the liquid soap on it into a lather.
“Hometown girl?” he smiled, almost knowingly, closing his eyes against the rush of feelings he was having.
“How did you guess?” she smiled at him, taking a clean sponge to rinse the soap from his back.
“I’m good with people” he admitted shortly, and this time he could not help the shiver that came over him.
“Are you cold?” she was concerned.
“A little” he lied. Better to let her think that, he thought to himself, than to know what he was really thinking about.
“How long have you been married?” she asked him casually as she started washing his arms.
“I’m not married” he admitted to her lowly. She glanced at him with a curious look.
“But, you are wearing a wedding ring!” she laughed. “Is that just to ward of single women?” she teased him with a light laugh.
“No” he chuckled and shook his head. Then, very quietly, he added. “My wife is dead”
“Oh, I’m so sorry” Carol told him sincerely, now almost embarrassed she had pressed the issue with him.
“Yeah” he nodded with short tick of his head. “Me too” but then, he felt so at ease with her, and the warm water was soothing him so well, that he felt like talking. She had a friendly face...a kind voice...and a warm smile. He felt at ease with her. “She was in a car accident about six months ago. I was at the hospital that day. It was raining...sort of like it is here tonight. I wasn’t on ER rotation by then, but when they brought her in, I was down there plenty fast. She was...” he stopped short, aware that he was giving away more information than he intended so he stopped his thoughts and turned them in another direction. “She was in pretty bad shape. I couldn’t help in the ER but at least I could be there to hold her hand and be with her.”
“It must have been very hard for you” Carol’s voice was quiet and sincere.
“Kate was the light of my life” he told her honestly.
“Kate” Carol smiled. “That’s a nice name.”
“That’s just what I called her” he chuckled. “Her name was actually Caitlyn, but I always called her ‘Kate’.” He thought quietly with a smile on his face. “She hated it. Or, at least, she pretended to hate it.”
“How long were you married?”
“Not quite three years.”
“So, you were already married when the incident happened that put you on dialysis?”
“Yeah” he nodded slowly. “I would never have made it through all that without her. She was right there by my side, every step of the way. We talked about everything and every decision I made, we talked about it beforehand. She was my angel of mercy at a time when I needed her, desperately. I only wish I could have been the same for her” he blinked his eyes and looked at his feet, trying not to think about the tears that were still in his heart when he thought about that day.
“I’m sure you were” Carol felt the need to reassure him. “You can lean back now and I’ll do your legs” she told him, having washed and rinsed his arms and chest.
“And if you’re cold, I brought you a clean shirt you can put on” she motioned to a pair of pajamas she had brought with her.
“Pajamas?” Doug laughed when he saw them. “I haven’t slept in pajamas since I was a kid!” he reached for the shirt and gingerly pulled his sore arm into a sleeve, then other arm, and began buttoning the front closed. “Where’d you get these, anyway? Patient stash?”
“Yep!” she nodded with a smile. “I brought you some clean shorts, too, if you’d like to change once you wash.”
“Yeah” he nodded. “I think I’d like that” he looked at her, a half smile on his lips and he hoped she didn’t see the twinkle in his eyes. “Thanks”
“You’re welcome” she nodded at him, smiling.
“You’re really good at what you do” he told her quietly.
“Thank you” she nodded again. “That’s just about the best compliment you could give me.”
“No” he shook his head. “I can do better. Maybe you’ll get a chance to find out before I leave” his smile was so coy...so playful...she had to laugh when she glanced back at him.
“Here” she handed him a wash cloth. “I’ll be right outside the curtain if you need me”
“Thanks” he nodded, hoping the fire he felt in his cheeks didn’t show up as blushing to her.
“Why do you still wear your wedding ring, if I’m not being too personal?” Carol asked him, pulling the curtain to set them apart and give him his privacy to wash himself without her gawking at him.
“I guess I’m just not ready to take it off yet” was his reply.
“You must have loved her very much” Carol’s voice was soft, thinking about how wonderful it must be for a woman to mean that much to a man.
“Yes, I did” he told her quietly. “You can come back in now.” She opened the curtain to find him pulling the covers back over himself, having put his clean shorts and pajama bottoms on already.
“Now, do you feel better?” she smiled at him as she started gathering up her bath tools to take them away.
“Honestly, yes” he nodded. “I do. Thank you”
“Was your wife in the business?” she kept her voice quiet and she didn’t look at him, feeling just a little embarrassed about continuing to ask him questions about her. She didn’t know why she was so fascinated to know.
“She was a psychiatrist” he told her with a nod. Then, he chuckled at the thought he had swirling around in his head. “I met her when the hospital sent me for mandatory counseling.”
“Mandatory counseling?” Carol scoffed a bit. “Were you a bad boy?”
“I was a bad boy to end all bad boys” he snickered. “I used to have quite a reputation when I was practicing.”
“Well, what did you do that got you sent to mandatory counseling?”
“I punched a patient’s father in the nose” he told her, very matter-of-fact-like. Almost as if he were proud of himself.
“Why would you do a think like that?”
“Because the bastard took a ball bat and beat his kid about the head and shoulders with it!” It angered him to think about it, even now. “I figured his kid couldn’t fight back, but I could! He didn’t file any charges. Social Services took his kid. And I got sent for counseling. And that’s where I met Kate.”
“What did she tell you about your actions?”
“Well, she went to great lengths to explain to me how wrong they were” he chuckled. “But, she also told me she wished more child abusers could be on the receiving end like that sometimes! I knew then we were two of a kind.  I asked her to dinner and before I knew it, I was asking her to marry me.”
“Sounds romantic” Carol smiled.
“What about you?” Doug asked her curiously. “I know you’re obviously not married because there’s no ring, but do you have someone special in your life?”
“Yeah” she nodded to him with a coy smile on her face. “His name is Mac.”
“Is he a doctor on staff here?”
“He’s a tabby cat” she grinned at him. “And he doesn’t even belong to me. He belongs to a neighbor. I just put food out for him every day!”
“Ah, a real moocher, huh?” Doug laughed. “Kate had a cat, too. He was a Sealpoint Siamese named Hades...”
“Hades!?” Carol laughed. “What kind of name was that for a cat?”
“Because when he was a kitten he was rambunctious and every time he did something one or the other of us said ‘oh hell’ at him so we called him Hades, which is still hell, but in a nicer way!”
“So where’s the cat now?”
“My mother-in-law has him” Doug told her sadly. “If I’d stayed in New York, I would have kept him. I may still take him when I get to California, but he’s probably better off with Beth.”
“So, you’re headed to California, huh?”
“Yeah. I have a job waiting for me out there and a friend. It’ll be a good place...” his voice trailed off, but he gathered the sentence to finish it. “...it’ll be a good place to start over.”
“You can’t run away, you know” Carol told him truthfully. “The memories are still there, no matter where you go.”
“I suppose you’re right” he nodded. Although he knew that, he had never really thought about quite that way before.
“OK, now that you’ve had your bath, I’m going to bring you something to eat.”
She told him, quickly changing the subject. Anything in particular you’d like to have?”
“Surprise me” he smiled at her. “I can eat just about anything”
“OK” she slid the basin of water off the table. “But, just remember, you asked for it!”

She heard him chuckle as she started out of the room, and she couldn’t help but think how much she liked him in just the short time she’d spent with him. There was something about him....something that drew him to her. She didn’t know what it was and she scolded herself, telling herself she wouldn’t have time to find out. Soon, he would be on his way to California and out of her life forever. By the time she emptied the basins and got all the bath tools put away, the long awaited x-rays were finally arriving at her desk.

“Thanks” she grunted to the orderly when he dropped them in her basket. “It’s about time”
“Hey, I’m just the messenger” he shrugged at her as he started away.
“Mark’s not back yet, right?” Carol turned to look at the board, asking no one in particular. She saw that Mark’s name was still written in the OUT box in the corner of the board. “Does anyone know where Dr. Weaver is?” she asked the group at the desk.
“I’ll page her for you” Jerry replied helpfully. “I know she was here a minute ago.”
“Thanks, Jerry.”

Carol went to her locker to get her coat and start across the lot to Doc Magoos, a local hangout for the staff, and Kerry Weaver was coming to the desk just as Carol returned.

“Did somebody page me?” Kerry asked Carol.
“Yeah, I did” Carol nodded, grabbing the envelope of x-rays. “Mark asked me to have you look at these if he wasn’t back yet. He had to go out for a few minutes on an errand for a patient. The patient these go with is in step down #3.”
“OK, I’ve got it” Kerry took the envelope and started along her way.

Kerry Weaver had only been on staff at County for less than a year, but she was already second in command behind Mark Greene. Short, with cropped red hair, she walked with a limp and the support of a crutch for a reason she had never bothered to explain to anyone and no one was rude enough to ask. She was thirty-four years old and a real ‘by the book’ type doctor. She had a flair for administration and never minded taking on more responsibilities and duties around the ER. She had chosen her career and she was determined to be the best at no matter what the cost. There were times she stepped on people’s toes but always for the good of the hospital. She looked at the envelope as she started one way and Carol started out into the rain.

“Hey, Carol” Kerry turned around quickly. “The name on this file...the patient? Is this right? Douglas Ray Ross?”
“Yeah, that’s him!” Carol nodded, throwing the hood of her jacket up over her head and pushing the doors open in front of her.

Kerry shook her head as she continued her walk to the room. Could this be the same ‘Doug Ross’ she thought to herself? She reached recovery step down #3 and opened the door to go in. The minute she saw him lying peacefully on the bed she began to laugh.

“Well, I figured it had to be the same ‘Doug Ross’!” she told him, still chuckling as she walked over to his bed. “Lord knows there couldn’t be more than one.”
“Nor more than one Dr. Weaver” Doug chuckled as he opened his eyes to see her placing his x-rays on the screen for viewing. “How are you, Kerry?”
“Well, I’d have to say I’m in a little better shape than you are right now” she told him as she studied the x-rays. “What happened to you?”
“I had a little accident.”
“A little accident?” she scoffed. “Three broken ribs on one side and two cracked on the other side with a separated shoulder to boot? I’d say that’s a little more than a ‘little’ accident!”
“The car hydroplaned on the highway and I couldn’t control it.”
“Well, then, you’re probably very lucky” she turned the screen off.   “You want me to tape you up? Or do you want to wait for Mark?”
“I trust you, Kerry” he grinned at her.
“OK, let me go get the things I’ll need and I’ll be right back.”

She limped along back out into the hall to the supply cabinet, gathering up in her arms the things she would need for Doug. She got back to his room and he sat up on the bed for her to treat him.

“It’s probably going to hurt that shoulder for you to do this, but, you know you have to put your hands up on top of your head” she told him, pulling tape from the roll to start wrapping around him.
“It’s OK” he nodded. “I can handle it” Painfully, he raised both arms and placed both hands, palms down, on top of his head.
“How are you doing, Doug?” Kerry’s voice was quiet.
“I’m OK” he nodded. He knew what she was asking him, so a lot of words weren’t necessary.
“I was so sorry about Caitlyn.”
“We all were” he told her sadly.
“Is Cassidy not with you?” she began wrapping the heavy tape around his ribs very snugly.
“She’s with my Mom” he nodded, and winced. “Traveling is so hard on her.  I thought she might be better off just staying with Mom and then when I get there, I’ll fly back and get her.”
“Where are you headed?”
“California.”
“Rick Schlister?” Kerry wasn’t really asking, she pretty much knew.
“Yeah.”
“Well, I hope things work out for you” she clipped the end of the tape off and smoothed her hands over it to pack it in tight. “You can put your hands down now”
Doug slowly lowered his hand, grimacing with the pain movement caused his shoulder to have. “This shoulder is not completely separated so, I’m just going to give you some cortisone and have you wear it in a sling for about a week, OK?”
“That means I can’t drive?” his voice was pained. This meant his trip was going to be delayed.
“Are you in a hurry?” Kerry seemed surprised by his attitude.
“Rick is kind of expecting me” he nodded.
“Well, I’m sure he’ll wait for you” Kerry smiled. “He’s waited five years. What’s one more week?”
“I’ll call him” Doug nodded. Then, he winced as he watched Kerry fill the syringe with cortisone.
“Can you take your shirt off for me, please?”
“Gee, Kerry, that’s something I never thought I’d ever hear you say to me” he teased her, carefully slipping the pajama top off his sore shoulder.
“Very funny, Doug” she ignored his remark, briskly rubbing his shoulder with an alcohol prep. “This is going to hurt a little” she cautioned him before stuck the needle into his skin.
“Yeah” he nodded, then bit his lip as the needle pierced deep into his muscle. “I know” he grunted.

Several times she repositioned the needle to inject small amounts of the medicine into various areas of the muscle. Each time she moved the needle, Doug bit his lip and winced against the pain. Finally, she removed the needle and placed the syringe on a nearby tray and picked up a sling, slipping it over his head and carefully placing his arm into the pocket.

“OK” she told him brightly. “All done”
“Thanks” he grunted at her, leaning back into his bed. “I think.”
“If you need something for the pain, just tell Carol and she’ll page Mark or me and we can give you something”
“Carol? Is that the nurse that’s been taking care of me?”
“Yeah, Carol Hathaway” Kerry nodded to him, gathering her supplies to take them back out again.
“Hey, Kerry” Doug called to her just as she got to the door and she turned back to him. “It’s good to see you” he told her sincerely.
“It’s good to see you, too, Doug” she nodded in silent agreement.

He let his head sink back into the pillow and he closed his eyes, still trying to recover from the pain of his shoulder treatment, when he heard the door open again and he could smell something warm and hot close to his face. He opened his eyes to see Carol, standing beside his bed, taking the lid off a piping hot container of soup and pulling his serving tray close to his bed.

“Vegetable soup” she told him shortly. “I thought it might be better for you than a cheeseburger and fries.”
“I might have enjoyed the cheeseburger and fries more” he told her with a sly grin.
“This is better for you” she shrugged. “And it’s pretty good, too.   I’ve had it myself lots of times.”
“Well, with your recommendation, how could I refuse?” he grinned at her and she felt herself smile back at him.
“Baxter just delivered your dianeal” she told him quietly. “As soon as Mark gets back with your cycler you’ll be able to do your treatment.”
“Thanks” he nodded, blowing gently on the soup in the spoon before shoveling it into his mouth. “Ummm, you’re right” he nodded. “This IS good.”
“I was just thinking about your condition and if I’m out of line asking just say so but, have you not considered a transplant?” she was curious about his condition.
“No” he shook his head and gave her a very short answer.
“Why not? You’re young and seem to be pretty healthy. I’d think it would be the perfect option in your position.”
“I have my reasons” was all he told her. That was good enough for Carol. She nodded, realizing he wanted to just drop the subject.
“And, I’m sure they’re very good ones, too” She smiled at him. Well, just enjoy your soup! And if you need anything else, just buzz for me, OK?”
“Sure” he nodded to her. “Thanks.”

As before, he watched her every step of the way until the door closed between them and she was gone from his sight. Somehow, to him, California didn’t seem all that important now. Carol got back to the front desk just as Mark was coming back into the ER, pulling a suitcase by a leash and on wheels, carrying a bag over his shoulder, and one in his hand.

“Looks like you were able to get everything” Carol smiled. “You need some help with that?”
“No, it’s OK. I’ve got it” Mark nodded.
“Baxter delivered about ten minutes ago.”
“Good, we can get him dialyzed” Mark nodded, setting everything down to take his jacket off and shake the rain off it.
“Did you have any trouble getting his stuff?”
“No” Mark seemed troubled about something, but wasn’t offering any information. “They let me have it just fine. All I had to do was sign for it.”
“Something wrong?” Carol picked up on his mood.
“Oh, just this lousy weather” he shook her off. “Let me take this stuff to him...”
Mark started across the hall with Carol helping him with all of Doug’s
things. “How’s he feeling?”
“We got the x-rays and Kerry took care of him...”
“OK, I’ll get together with her on that...”
“And I took him some soup...he was eating last I was with him.”
“Good” Mark nodded. “That’s good...” he pushed the door to Doug’s room open
quickly.
“Hey, this is what I call service!” Doug chuckled from his bed.
“Carol, could you excuse us, please?” Mark asked her quietly.
“Sure” she nodded and put down the things she’d helped to carry in, leaving the two of them together.
“Are you in some kind of trouble?” Mark asked him bluntly.
“Why would you ask me that?” Doug felt the color drain from his face
quickly.
“Police give you a hard time getting the stuff out of the car?”
“Something like that” Mark nodded. “Are you in some kind of trouble?” he repeated.
“I’m sure they didn’t want anybody around it much until the DA from New York gets here to examine it” Doug sighed. “But, they let you have the stuff, I see.”
“Yeah” Mark nodded, feeling a bit annoyed. “But, I had to sign for it to take it!
What kind of trouble are you in that a DA has to examine your car?”
“It’s a long story...” Doug sighed.
“I’m not going anyplace the rest of the night” Mark informed him.
“Well, in all due respects, Dr. Greene” Doug’s tone was annoyed now, angry that Mark would put him on the spot like that when they didn’t even know each other. “It’s none of your business! It has nothing to do with my medical condition, which is the only concern you should have!”
“OK” Mark nodded, annoyed and frustrated and Doug’s attitude.
“Should I expect the Chicago police to come in here and handcuff you to the bed or anything? Can you tell me that much?”
“Nobody’s going to come after me” Doug assured him, scoffing a bit. “It’s all a misunderstanding.”
“Is it what you’re running away from?”
“Are you always so nosy about your patients’ personal lives, Dr. Greene? Didn’t I already tell you it was none of your business?” Doug sighed. “Look, I’m not trying to give you a hard time, OK? I’m just really tired and I want to rest right now. Nobody is going to come after me and I’m not on the run from anything legal, OK?  Is that good enough for now?”
“Sure” Mark nodded, still a bit annoyed. “But, if you ever need somebody to talk...”
“You’ll be the first one I call, OK?” Doug smiled just a bit.
“Thanks.”

Mark nodded and left him there alone, going back out in search of Kerry Weaver to discuss the x-rays he had missed and to see them.

Doug eased himself out of his bed and began to break open the box of dianeal with his fist, punching along the perforated flaps. Before he could reach in and lift out on of the clear plastic bags, Carol came bursting through his door quickly.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” She told him sternly! “You let somebody help you with that!”
“I can handle it” He laughed lightly.
“Sure, you can...with broken ribs and your arm in a sling! Get up on that bed and tell me what I need to do!”
“OK, we need to plug the machine in first and let the heater start warming up.”
“OK...” Carol unzipped the case and lifted out a machine no bigger than a VCR to place it on the table close to the bed. “THIS is a dialysis machine?” she asked him in a surprised tone.
“Yep!” He smiled, taking the cord out of the case and plugging it into the socket behind the table.
“OK” She nodded. Cords in place, she pressed the ON switch and a soft green light flashed out the words PRESS GO TO START on the strip above the controls.
“What do I do now?” she asked him eagerly. She didn’t know the first thing about this machine, but she was more than willing to learn.
“Open the dianeal bags at the notches and squeeze them a little bit to make sure there are no leaks in them” The green glow showed the words LOAD CASSETTE. “You take this thing” he picked up a clear, rectangular shaped box and loaded into the front deck of the machine, pulling the tubes through the side opening before closing the door. The words CONNECT BAGS now showed on the screen. “Put one of them on top here on the heater and lay the other one on the table beside the machine” Carol did exactly as he instructed.
“It only heats one bag?” She asked him with a puzzled look.
“Heats both of them” He smiled. “It pulls the fluid from the cold bag up into the warm bag and heats it continuously. Pretty slick, huh?” his eyes twinkled just a bit.
“Very nice” She nodded.
“I think I can take it from here” he smiled at her.
“Is it all right if I watch?” she wanted to know. “I’ve never even seen this done before”
“Sure” he laughed. “Knock yourself out!”

Carol watched as Doug pulled the rubber stoppers from the dianeal bags to attach them to tubes from the machine. The machine indicated PRIMING... and the fluids began to flow through the tubes until the machine flashed CONNECT YOURSELF. He reached under the waistband of his pajamas and took the connector to his catheter out, unscrewed a cap, and attached it to another tube on the machine.  Pressing a button, he waited until the red betadine flushed out of the tube and then relaxed
back in bed.

“All there is to it” he smiled at Carol.
“Does it hurt?” she wanted to know.
“Not a bit” he shook his head. “I sleep through most of it. That’s one thing about it...I can do it this way or I can do it manually with an IV pole. And in research, I can sit at my desk in my office and do either one while I’m still working. I have six feet of tubing to walk with and I can get to anything I need in that amount of space!”
“I guess you get used to it.”
“Does it bother you?”
“Bother me? No! Why should it bother me?”
“I don’t know” he shrugged. “It freaks some people out!”
“I’m a nurse!” Carol laughed. “It takes a little more than that to freak me out!”
“I was so afraid it would bother Kate when it first happened” he spoke softly of his memory. “I really worried about how she would react to it. You know the only question she asked my trainer when we went through the learning sessions?” Carol shook her head with a soft grin. “She wanted to know if we would still be able to have sex when I was on the machine!” he chuckled just a bit and Carol smiled. “The answer was yes” he told her. “And that WAS the right answer!”
“That’s one thing I enjoy about nursing” Carol grinned. “I’m always learning new things!” she paused quietly. “Do you need anything else?”
“No” he shook his head. “A few things out of my suitcase, but I can get those. Thanks. I’m fine.”
“OK!” Carol nodded. “You know where to find me if you need me.”
“Thanks” he told her as she started away. “Oh, one more thing!” he called her attention back quickly. “Can I make a couple of phone calls?”
“Sure!” Carol smiled. “Just dial “9” first.”

Once she was gone, he picked up the phone and dialed “9” and then “0” to get operator assistance.

“Will you accept a collect call from Doug Ross?” he heard the operator asking once the voice on the other end answer the phone.
“Yes, Operator” he heard the woman say. “I’ll accept.”
“Hi, Mom” he smiled into the receiver.
“Doug! Thank heavens! I’ve been worried out of my mind! How far did you get tonight?”’
“Chicago” he chuckled lightly.
“All right” her voice had a knowing tone. “What’s wrong?”
“I had a small accident” he tried to downplay the situation. “I’m in the hospital, but, I’m OK, so, don’t worry! I really just called to check on Cass...is she OK?”
“Oh, she’s fine! She had her dinner and went to bed hours ago!”
“Did you give her juice like I asked you to?”
“Six ounces” her tone was annoyed. “Yes. She took it all.”
“Did you give her Duncan? The little stuffed rabbit Kate made for her? She can’t sleep without it”
“Doug, I raised you, didn’t I? And you turned out all right! At least as far as I know, you did! I think I can handle my granddaughter’s needs!”
“I know you can, Mom” he smiled slightly. “I just miss her. Give her a hug and a kiss for me, OK?” he felt a tear misting in his eyes. “Tell her I love her.”
“I will, Doug” her voice was quiet and sincere. “Keep me posted on you, too, OK?”
“I will. Thanks, Mom.”

He hung up from that call and placed another one just like it to a different number. The operator asked if a collect call would be accepted and a man on the other end said yes...

“Talk to me, Douglas!” came the casual response.
“Hey, Rick! Tiny little setback here...I’m still in Chicago! I had a little accident and I think I’m going to be stuck here a few days.”
“Are you OK?”
“Yeah, I will be. Everything is minor but the car is totaled. It may take me a week or so to get things back together!”
“Well, the job will be here whenever you get here” came the reply. “Don’t worry about that.”
“I’m not...I know that....” he paused, thinking about how to word what he wanted to say next. “Rick...would you be really upset if I decided not to take this job?”
“You don’t want the job?” The voice sounded surprised. “Come on, Doug, we talked about this! I thought we had everything all worked out!”
“I know...but I was thinking about maybe staying around here for a while...”
“Staying around where? In Chicago?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? What’s in Chicago? All they got there is wind and rain and snow and ice...out here we got sunshine and beaches and ocean ...”
“It’s not a case of what you have or don’t have in either place...”   Doug cut him off quickly.
“It’s a woman, isn’t it?” the voice was taunting with a knowing tone.
“I don’t know exactly. Maybe.”
“What do you mean, ‘maybe’? Either it is or it isn’t!”
“Maybe I’d like to find out.”
“OK, that’s fair enough, but what are you going to do in Chicago? You don’t have a job there, do you?”
“No, but, I’ll be all right money wise for a little while and maybe I can find a job in the meantime! I just know I can’t leave here right now, Rick.”
“OK, but, I better get to meet this girl later, OK?”
“Don’t worry, Pal...anything comes of this adventure, you’ll be the first to know!”
“OK, Doug! Take care of yourself, Buddy! And stay in touch, OK?”
“Yeah” Doug nodded, lost deep in thought. “OK”

He hung up the phone and slid carefully off his bed to open his suitcase on the floor, taking out a radio headset to soothe him to sleep. Before he closed the case back up he picked up a picture to look at it for a moment. A family portrait, a picture of him with his arm around Caitlyn while she was holding a 6 week old baby in her arms. He shook his head to think that this was the last photo taken of the three of them together...in just a matter of days Caitlyn would be....he stopped thinking about it as quickly as he had started. But, what caught his attention was what had been intriguing him all night without him even knowing it. With the exception of her having straight hair instead of curly locks, Caitlyn looks incredibly like Carol Hathaway. Doug studied the picture long and hard for just a moment. Then, feeling a tear starting to glisten in his eyes, he carefully tucked it back away in the suitcase. Slipping the headset over his ears, being careful not to hit the patch covering his stitches, he settled down in bed to find a radio station to listen to. A song that would sing him to sleep was by the country band, Alabama, and he let the words ripple deep into his soul...

[Once upon a lifetime, I looked in someone’s eyes and felt the fire burning in my heart for the very first time...And, once upon a lifetime, you hold the Queen of Hearts. And if you gambled on a diamond then the dealing starts. You stand to lose it all. As the cards begin to fall, the lesson learned is hard, you’re only dealt the Queen of Hearts, once upon a lifetime. So if you’re taking chance, know the chance you take. A broken heart’s a high price to pay. Foolish ways will make fools of the wise. And the best things seldom come along twice. Once upon a lifetime, you know that you’ve been blessed, when you hold your first born tenderling against your chest. And through the innocence you’ve seen, there you are...the family! And you feel the special bond...that only comes along...once upon a lifetime.]

He looked across the hall at Carol, laughing with co-workers at the front desk, but he felt the tears on his cheeks as he thought about Caitlyn...and Cassidy...and how alone and empty he was feeling.

Mark Greene let out a heavy sigh as he made his physician’s notes on Doug Ross’ chart. This one was a live wire, he thought to himself. But, he had given quite a bit of personal information to Carol for admitting purposes and Mark was transferring most of that into a patient file. Douglas Ray Ross, - 32 years old, - marital status - widowed, medical ID #73216980, - family information - half-brother, John Christopher Kilpatrick, Mother - Sarah Ross Wittingham, Step-father - Howard Jason Wittingham, - Mark backed his pencil up to look back over that. His half-brother’s name was ‘Kilpatrick’ but his step-father’s name was ‘Wittingham’ ? OK, Mark thought....this was an interesting family. His father was listed as Dwight Raymond Ross and he did not indicate if he had any children or not. Mark’s eyes kept shifting back to the medical ID# and he walked over to the computer to carefully punch the number into the field search for information. The screen came up and the name at the top was ROSS, DOUGLAS RAY. The screen asked if it was to print the information and Mark clicked ‘yes’. The printer began to transfer the information quickly and Mark stood close by to wait for it.

“That’s it for me!” Carol breathed a heavy sigh. “I’m out of here!”  She pushed open the door to the lounge to retrieve her jacket from her locker.  Pulling her arms into it, she walked back out to the front desk. “I’m leaving, Mark” she told him as she straightened the collar of her coat quickly.
“OK, Carol!” he looked up with a slight smile. “Have a good evening.”

Just before she left the building, she slipped quietly into Doug Ross’ room for one last check on her patient. Carol was a very attentive nurse and she cared very much for her patients anyway, but there was something special about this one. Something about him was very needing, yet, he was not someone to for ask much. She smiled to see that he had gone to sleep with the radio headset still around his ears and she slipped them off very gently. She turned the radio off and laid the headset on the table beside him, noting that his cycler showed DWELL 3 of 4, indicating his dialysis treatment was still in progress. She reached about his head and pulled the chain on the light to turn it off. Then, she pulled the covers up to his chest and tucked them gently at the side. Making sure the bed rail was locked in place she slipped quietly back out of the room and left the hospital.   The rain had stopped and Carol took a deep breath of the cool night air as she walked towards the El platform for the train that would take her home. 

She stood on the platform watching down the tracks when she heard laughing and giggling going on behind her. She turned her attention to see David West staggering up the steps, obviously very drunk, his arm draped around the shoulders of a blonde woman in a tight sweater dress and a leather coat with knee boots, also openly intoxicated and giggling insanely. Carol rolled her eyes at this sight and tried not to notice much.  Still, she thought, David looked so nice in his three piece blue suit and striped tie. He was tall, dark complected with sandy blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes that were capable of hypnotizing just about any woman he fancied. How could he look like a million bucks and act like such a jerk, Carol wondered to herself.

“Well, good evening Nurse Hathaway!” he called out to her, somewhat loudly. “Beautiful evening, isn’t it?”
“It was” Carol admitted lowly.
“Aw, now, that’s not very nice, Carol! All that tension in the ER must be getting to you!” he laughed heartily. “I’d like you to meet my date! This is....” he looked at the woman and laughed foolishly. “What was your name again, Darling?”
“Gretta!” the woman told him in an annoyed tone.
“Yeah! Gretta!” he nodded to her and turned his attention back to Carol. “This is my date, Gretta! Gretta, this is Carol Hathaway...she works at the hospital!”
“Oh, that must be so exciting!” the woman babbled. “Working so close with a stud like David!” she threw her arms around him and cuddled close.
“I try and control myself” Carol told her sarcastically. She looked down the tracks again thinking to herself ‘where IS that damn train?!’ but her face showed composure.
“Well, then, honey, you must have TREMENDOUS willpower!” Gretta laughed out at her.
“Carol is immune to my charms” David told her quickly.
“Well, don’t you ever give ME that shot!” Gretta foolishly puckered up and kissed him wetly on the cheek. Carol rolled her eyes again but said nothing.
“Oh, I’m gonna give you a shot, Sweetheart!” David laughed, placing his nose to hers and rubbing it wildly. “But, it ain’t that kind!”
“Oh, don’t you tease me, now, Dr. West!” Gretta laughed loudly just as the train came into Carol’s view.
“Thank God” she mumbled lowly. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat” she smirked at David, “but, my train is here.”
“Well, now, you have yourself a dandy fine evening, Carol!”
“I’m sure I will” she nodded to him. “Just as soon as I get on this train” she mumbled lowly to herself as the doors opened for her to step on.

She sat down in a seat facing the platform and she couldn’t but help be see David and Gretta, still carrying on with each other while they waited for the train that would take them to David’s park side apartment. And Carol knew step by step exactly what would happen once they got there. The good part, she thought, was that Gretta was obviously as shallow as David was and all she wanted was a good time.  Carol had made the mistake of caring. She put up a hard shield around her whenever he was around but the truth was it still hurt to see him no matter what she told herself afterwards. Why she couldn’t let go of a man so callous and uncaring, she didn’t know. She just knew she couldn’t. Quickly, she shifted her attention back to Doug Ross, lying alone in step down #3 back at the hospital. She thought about how, when she took the headset off him, that she had noticed dried tear stains on his cheeks and she wondered what was bothering him so much that he felt the need to release it in such a way. She smiled slightly, thinking how she would like to meet a man who wasn’t afraid to cry...a man whose love was so deep and his pain was so great that he wasn’t ashamed to let people know he was hurting for the loss of it. His wife, she thought, must have been a very lucky woman. And she wondered why she couldn’t find a man like that to love her. She turned her attention out the window and watched everything click rapidly along as the train began it’ s journey across Chicago to take her home...

Mark read over the information on the papers in front of him with total amazement. He was in awe of the things he was seeing and began to mumble aloud the things he was reading.

“Graduated second in his class at UCLA Medical School where he was accepted in the 98th percentile?!” Mark was in awe. “98th?!”
“Who’s that?” Kerry Weaver looked over at him from her work at the desk. “Doug Ross?”
“Yeah...” Mark turned to her, his eyes still reading over his printed information. “98th? There were only 2% of the students accepted that year that were better than he was on the MCATs?”
“Yeah, that would be about right” Kerry nodded.
“His previous employment was Sinai in New York...isn’t that where you were when you came here?”
“Yep!”
“So, you must know him pretty well?”
“Better than I cared to sometimes” Kerry chuckled lightly with her memories.
“Is he a bad doctor?”
“Oh, no!” Kerry shook her head. “He was a great doctor...just a bit of a cowboy.”
“Was a great doctor?”
“Yes, he left active practice to go into research a little better than a year ago.”
“If he was such a good doctor, why would he want to do that?”
“Well, he was never quite the same after the beating he took that put him on dialysis. And he said the long hours on his feet were more than he could take. Besides, he had been experimenting with pain management for years. He just decided to put it to research.”
“So, he was good on rotation?” Mark wanted to know.
“The best there was” Kerry nodded. “He had ‘on call’ rights at every hospital in the area, including Sloan-Kettering. He was called as consult sometimes even into New Jersey. There was no doubt he knew what he was doing and he was good.   He was just a management nightmare was all.”
“A management nightmare? How so?”
“Doug had a tendency to do things his way without regard for rules and regulations...hospital protocol, so to speak. He was a cowboy...a rebel...as far as administration was concerned he was a bit reckless when it came to the welfare of his patients.”
“So, why wasn’t he fired?”
“Fired? Are you kidding? The media would have had a field day! He was a hero as far they were concerned. He was always in the news and the media loved him. And, I have to admit, I never saw a doctor more ‘there’ for their patients than he always was. I may not have always approved of the way he did things, but I would never take away the fact that he was damn good at what he did.”
“So, he clashed with management a lot?”
“Doug was at Sinai for six and half years. During that time, if there was one full year that got by without him put on probation for something, I think I’d be surprised!”  Kerry chuckled. “I think management breathed a sigh of relief when he left practice to go into research!” she laughed again. “The ER was never quite the same, though. He was really missed. He was still there for consult, and he used to come in and go over charts sometimes just to see how his predecessor was handling things.  To tell the truth, I think the decision to leave it was very hard for him and he couldn’t stay away from it completely.”
“What happened to him?”
“He was beaten up by a street gang. One of his patients was a little African American girl and her family lived over on the west side. Doug, being the caring doctor that he was, did a follow up on her by going to her home. He was a white doctor, a well known and frequently photographed white doctor, no less, in a black neighborhood. The boys thought he might be caring drugs they could use for street trade and they ganged up on him. He really was hurt very badly and for a while there, we thought we might lose him. He did pull out of it, after spending nearly a week in intensive care, but it left him with severe kidney damage, which resulted in dialysis.”
“That’s really a shame.”
“He went through the normal adjustment periods with it, I think.  Overall, I’d have to say I think he adapted really well” She paused in thought. “Of course, I think Caitlyn had a lot to do with all that.”
“That was his wife, right?”
“Yes, Caitlyn LaVorious...excellent psychiatrist!” Kerry laughed, thinking. “She and Doug met when the hospital sent him for mandatory counseling after he punched a little girl’s father in the nose over an abuse case!” Mark chuckled with her. “We all wondered why Caitlyn kept extending his sessions! A few months later we all found out  when we got the wedding invitation!”
“That wouldn’t be Jacque LaVorious’ daughter, would it?” Mark was lost in thought and absorbing everything slowly.
“Yes, she was!” Kerry nodded. “Do you know Jacque?”
“I know of him. I’ve never met him.”
“He’s incredible! Caitlyn was his only child, and the absolute light of his life! And he was crazy about Doug, mostly because he was just so good to Caitlyn. They were quite a family...” Kerry’s voice trailed off as she was lost in her thoughts.
“What about Doug’s family? Do you know much about that?”
“I know his parents split up when he was very young, and I know his mother remarried when he was about 10. He was raised by a step-father, and he always spoke very highly of him. I met the man several times and he always spoke very fondly of Doug...used to tell us all terrific stories about when Doug was growing up!” she smiled.
“But, Doug never called him ‘Dad’ or anything like it. He always called him ‘Howard’. I never asked. It was none of my business.”
“What about his own father? This, ‘Dwight Raymond Ross’ person?”
“I don’t know” Kerry shook her head. “I never met him. Doug used to speak of him from time to time, and he used to go visit him periodically, but I never met him. Doug never brought him to the hospital if he ever came to New York to visit, not that I knew if he ever did.”
“It says he has a half brother, name is ‘Kilpatrick’?” Mark was puzzled.
“Chris “Killer” Kilpatrick?” Kerry laughed. “Savage race car driver. Drives formula cars in Europe mostly. I met him a couple of times. He’s a real character.” Kerry rolled her eyes, but smiled, with the thought. “He and Doug usually get together when Chris comes to the States. Doug when to France once to watch Chris race. I wouldn’t call them ‘brothers’ so much, but they’re friends. Doug went to his wedding...he came to Doug’s....that kind of thing. They had a pretty rocky beginning but they worked it out.”
“Chris was Doug’s mother’s child?”
“His father’s” Kerry shook her head to correct him. “I never knew the story. Doug never told us. None of us ever asked. I assume his father never married Chris’ mother and that’s why he had the name ‘Kilpatrick’ instead of ‘Ross’. Again, that was none of my business. Doug’s not one to give away a lot of information.”
“Doug?” the voice of David Morganstern distracted their attention across the desk. “Doug who?”
“Doug Ross” Mark offered to him quickly. “He was admitted as a patient here last night.”
“Is he going to be OK?” Morganstern wanted to know.
“He’ll be fine. Kerry and I were just discussing what she knew about him...she used to work with him...”
“I used to work with him, too!” Morganstern nodded. “I was his supervisor when he did his internship at Children’s Hospital in Texas. One hell of a doctor! What’s he doing in Chicago?”
“He’s on his way to a job in California.” Mark offered quietly. “He had an accident out on 41 and I’m keeping him tonight mostly for observation.”
“Rick Schlister?” Morganstern looked at Kerry, who nodded quickly.   “What a team that will be!” He shook his head. “I’d give my eye teeth to get Doug Ross working for this hospital, though.”
“Maybe you should talk to him.” Kerry offered. “You got all that funding for research, you just need a project and someone to head it up. That’s his specialty. You might make him an offer.”
“I’m sure I couldn’t match anything Rick Schlister has offered him.” Morganstern shook his head with a sigh.
“Well, Doug’s at a cross road in his life right now. He might be more open to different things depending on what he needs and what he wants. If you’re really serious, David, I wouldn’t let him leave without at least talking to him.”
“You know what, Kerry? You just might be right! Mark, you’ll keep me posted on his condition, won’t you?”
“Sure.” Mark nodded. “I’m hoping I can keep him around town for a few days even after I release him. He’s pretty banged up.”
“Just make sure I know when you release him, all right? I’ll draw up a proposal for him and get together with the board! Kerry! If you would, prepare me a draft of what you know about him and we’ll confer notes, all right?”
“Sure thing, David.” Kerry nodded.
“All right, then,” David pounded the counter lightly, “Carry on, troops!”
“Why is he so excited about the prospect of Doug Ross working here?” Mark wanted to know once David was gone.
“Are you kidding?” Kerry laughed. “Someone as medically famous as Doug Ross? Do you have any idea the grant money that would be offered to this hospital for his research projects? Not to mention the caliber of students that would apply to come here as well? It would be one time I would actually welcome him with open arms if he were to bring his research here!”

Mark nodded, thinking about everything they’d talked about. He made his final notes for the evening in Doug’s file and signed his chart, placing it in the basket for Carol to make her notes for it the next morning.

Down the hall, Doug Ross slept soundly and undisturbed...unaware of the happenings already beginning to go on around him.

(hopefully to be continued)

OK, Gang.....Feedback time....Tell me what you think and if you think I should continue with this....

Robin

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