"The Past Is Never Behind You"

Opening Act

Scene opens at the Ross/Hathaway home, interior, night time. Open focus on curtains blowing away from an open window and show rain falling outside it. Pan across the room to show Doug Ross and Carol Hathaway curled together in bed, face to face. Carol has both arms snuggled under the covers. Doug has one arm up over his head and under the pillow and the other arm resting carefully on top of the covers on Carol's side. Carol does not open her eyes, but, she reaches over and nudges Doug gently.

Carol (sleepily):
Doug...
(he doesn't respond...she nudges him again and sharpens her voice)
Doug!

Doug (grunts):
Ummm?

Carol:
Sounds like it's raining.

Doug (doesn't open his eyes):
Uh huh.

Carol:
You left the window open.

Doug (grunts):
Uh huh.

Carol:
Go see if it's raining in.

Doug:
OK.
(doesn't get out of bed...just continues to lay there)

Carol (sharply):
DOUG!

Doug (opens his eyes now):
What?

Carol:
Go see if it's raining in the window!

Doug groans and tosses the covers off him to pull himself out of bed. He trudges across the room to the open window. The curtains blow out and hit him in the face. He grabs them quickly and stuffs them out of his way. Stretching and scratching, he reaches over and closes the window. Then, he drags himself back across the floor to bed and crawls back in.

Carol (softly):
Is it raining.

Doug (shortly):
Yes.

Carol:
Was it raining in?

Doug (getting annoyed...wants to go back to sleep):
I don't know...I didn't check...I just closed the window anyway.

Carol:
If it wasn't raining in, you should have left it open. The breeze was nice.

Doug (sighs):
Do you want me to go back over there and open it again?

Carol (wraps her arms around him, smiles and nuzzles on his shoulder):
No, it's OK.

They lay quietly together for a minute. Show a flash of lightning bounce off the walls of the room. Cut to Doug, eyes open, and grinning to himself.

Doug (counting quietly):
Three...two...

Carol:
What are you doing?

Doug:
Getting ready...
(crash of thunder rocks the house quickly)
One...here we go...

Off camera we hear the sounds of two little feet hitting the floor with a boom, a door rip open, and the sounds of someone running down the hallway. Focus on the door to the master bedroom ripping open and Tatiana running into the room and diving into bed with Doug and Carol.

Doug (chuckles...kisses her head gently):
What took you so long?

The little girl snuggles in between them where she feels safe and Carol drapes an arm around her. The storm rages outside but without further incident.

Cut to show time lapse. The storm is quiet now. Show Carol and Tatiana both sound asleep in bed, but Doug is not in bed with them. Show Carol opening her eyes slowly. She smiles at Tatiana and reaches across her to feel for Doug. When she feels an empty space, she wakes up enough to raise up and look over and see that Doug is gone. She gets out of bed and pulls into a bathrobe. Then she picks her daughter up and carries her out of the room. Follow her down the hallway to Tatiana's room. She puts the little girl in bed and covers her up, kissing her forehead affectionately. She goes down the stairs to the first floor, looking around in a confused state. Show her focus on something and smile slightly. Pan over to show her focus...Doug is sleeping on the sofa in an uncomfortable looking state. He has a blanket pulled halfway over him, one arm in dangling almost on the floor. Carol goes to the sofa and sits on the edge of it. Before she wakes him, her attention is caught by a glass of water sitting on the coffee table beside the sofa and bottle of pills beside the water glass. She opens the medicine bottle and shakes a couple of the pills out into her hand. They are Reds...sleeping pills. She puts the pills back into the bottle and immediately begins to shake Doug by the shoulders to wake him.

Carol (sharply):
Doug!? Wake up, Doug!

She does not get a response at first and she begins to panic just a bit. She shakes him harder, and calls his name more sharply in effort to wake him.

Carol (panic in her voice):
Doug! Doug, wake up! Please, wake up!

Doug (opens his eyes slowly and sleepily):
Huh?
(sits up slowly, touches Carol's shoulder)
What's wrong?

Carol:
What are you doing down here? Did Tatchie nudge you out?

Doug;
I came down to get a drink of water...

Carol (picks up the medicine bottle and holds it up to him):
So you could take these?
(Doug gives her a shameful look)
What do you need these for?

Doug (shrugs):
Just a little something to help me sleep...

Carol:
There are plenty of things you can get to help you sleep besides these. You know how I feel about these kind of drugs in the house!
(Doug gives her a scolded look)
Where did you get these, anyway? Did Mark give them to you?

Doug (quietly):
No. Nina Pomerantz did.

Carol:
You're seeing Nina again?
(Doug doesn't answer...just gives her a look)
Did something happen? I thought things were going pretty well...

Doug (shrugs):
Nothing I can't handle...

Carol (shakes medicine bottle at him):
Oh really? I don't recall you resorting to Reds before.
(Doug shrugs at her)
Why couldn't you just talk to me? Why didn't you let me know you were seeing Nina again? And why didn't you tell me you were having trouble sleeping? I have some methods that might work, too...without drugs...

Doug (sighs):
I'm sorry, OK? I just felt like with 2 kids and the clinic, you had enough problems to worry with right now.

Carol:
Is it the attack? Are you back to that again?
(Doug nods slowly)
Did something happen?

Doug (sighs):
When we had Vaccination Day at the Clinic, there was a man there with a little girl...I remembered his touch when I shook hands with him...he was one of the men who held onto me the night I was assaulted.

Carol (pained look):
You're sure?

Doug (nods):
Positive.

Carol:
So, that's what you're talking to Nina about?
(Doug nods)
Is there anything I can do?

Doug (shakes his head):
No, it's OK. I checked up on this guy...he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who just DOES this sort of thing. I don't understand a lot of it myself...I just know that about the time I thought I had my life back in order, this has to start haunting me again...

Carol (takes his hand and pulls him off the sofa):
Come on back to bed...OK?

Doug (grins at her, stands close to her and pulls her close to him):
OK.

Show them walk toward the stairs together, arm around each other, and fade into the Opening Credits of the show.

Act One

Scene opens at the C.A.R.E. center. Mark and Doug are stocking the supply room, Mark checking things off on a clipboard and Doug putting things on the shelves.

Mark (reading from list):
Latex gloves...

Doug (holds up the box):
Check.

Mark:
Tongue depressors...

Doug:
Check.

Mark:
Bandages...

Doug:
Check...

Doug reaches to put the bandages on the shelf up over his head, but, he loses his grip and the box falls back against his chest. Mark reaches out to help him catch it before it falls completely to the ground.

Mark:
Whoa! Careful! It's just bandages! It shouldn't be THAT heavy!

Doug (rubs his shoulder carefully):
It's not...it's just my shoulder acting up again.

Mark:
Again? I never knew it acted up the first time.

Doug (ticks his head):
Just something that happened a long time ago...

Mark (chuckles):
Old football injury, huh?

Doug (nods with a grin):
Yeah, that's it.

Mark:
Want me to take a look at it for you?

Doug:
Nah, it's OK...comes and goes.

Mark (as they start out of the supply room):
OK! Suit yourself! But, if you change your mind, let me know!

Doug (nods):
Thanks, Mark.

Mark and Doug join Chuney and Carol at the front desk with Cynthia. Cynthia is sifting through mail and Carol is going over the patient sign ins.

Mark (looks out into the waiting room):
Looks like an exciting day lined up...what have we got, Carol?

Carol:
Right now, I've got a twenty-seven year old with her equilibrum off and a four year old puking his guts out.

Doug (smirks at Mark):
Guess which one I get?

Carol (shoves the chart in his hands):
You got it!

Doug sighs, takes the chart and follows Chuney to an exam room.

Cut to show time lapse. Doug is working at the front desk behind Cynthia, going over files and charts.

Carol (quietly):
So, has Scott said anything to you about a party?

Doug:
What kind of party?

Carol:
He wants to have a Halloween party for some kids in his class.

Doug (shakes his head and grin):
He didn't mention it to me...are we banished from it or so we get to dress up, too?

Carol:
We'll be chaparoning...I told him I'd check with you...

Doug (nods):
Sounds OK to me...Tatchie can come too?

Carol (nods):
Yeah, that will be OK...

Doug (knowing):
Something more than you're telling me?

Carol:
I think there's a girl involved...he wants to talk to you about it, but I think he's not sure how to approach you.

Doug (nods...laughing smile):
Ah, the girls! I knew we were gonna get to this sooner or later...I'll talk to him, OK?

Carol:
Well, don't make it look like I told you, OK?

Doug:
I know how to do it...it'll be fine!

Cut to show Shawna Murphy come into the center. She is dressed for business now in a nice pants suit and carrying a briefcase with her. Carol greets her at the counter cheerfully.

Carol:
Hi, Shawna! Dr. Carter told us to expect you! He's not here right now, though!

Shawna (smiles):
I know...he's watching Daylin for me right now!

Doug (chuckles):
Come to make your pitch, have you?

Shawna (grins at Doug):
I finally figured out why you look so familiar to me.
(Doug look up at her from his files, ticks his head in wonder)
Didn't you used to date Linda Farrell?

Doug (grins):
Yes...yes, I did.

Shawna:
Well, I met you at a company Christmas party with her a couple of years ago...you probably don't remember me...

Doug (nods):
You were with Jeremy Hoskins, weren't you?

Shawna (brightly):
Yes! I was!

Doug (nods):
I remember...so how is Jeremy these days?

Shawna (snarling):
With any luck, he's probably dead.

Doug (chuckles):
That good, huh? What about Linda? How is she these days?

Shawna:
She's running a branch of the company out in California now...I only see her at conventions now...but I'll be sure and tell her you said hello.

Doug (nods):
You do that...and you need to talk to Nurse Hathaway, here, regarding your sales pitch...she's the one who will be handling those things...

Carol (dumbfounded):
I am?

Doug (grins at her):
Yeah! Did I forget to tell you?

Carol (lowly, under her breath as he glides by her):
Don't you always?

Doug (smiles at her):
You can take it in my office.

Carol (sarcastically):
Thank you SO much...

Carol directs Shawna to the office and they go in together and close the door. Focus on Doug and Mark going over a newspaper article at the front desk when a woman comes bursting into the center carrying a small child in her arms.

Woman:
Someone help my baby!

Doug and Mark react quickly, darting over to this woman in a flash. Doug opens the blanket she is holding and looks in at child about 18 months old. The baby is not breathing and starting to turn a blue color. He takes the baby out of the mother's arms and bursts through the doors into the trauma area with it, Mark close on his heels.

Mother (frantically...stands at the doorway):
Will he be OK?

Doug (listens close to the baby's mouth with his ear):
Nothing in the throat...he's not choking...

Mark:
Better give him some air...

Mark and Doug start working quickly on their tiny patient...Doug places an oxygen bag over the baby's face...Carol comes rushing in now to assist the doctors in their work...Chuney stays in the back with the mother.

Doug (holding the child's hand):
His fingernails are orange...
(turns over his shoulder to the mother)
Ma'am, has he been playing in your kitchen? Under the sink maybe?

Mother :
I don't know....maybe....

Mark (knowing look):
Poison?

Doug (nods):
Looks like drain cleaner...

Mark (closes his eyes, groans):
Oh, God...

Doug:
We gotta open his lungs and get him breathing...then we can deal with the rest of it later!

Doug and Mark continue to work feverishly on their tiny patient while the mother stands in back of the room watching in anguish...they pump his stomach to rid him of the poison and then use charcoal to get him to throw up what's left. The baby is awake now, and crying...but this crying is music to the mother's ears...

Mother:
Is he going to be all right?

Doug (shakes his head):
Not out of the woods yet...

At Doug's instructions, Carol starts an IV and the team gets the little boy under control. Doug inches over to the mother and touches her arm lightly.

Doug (quietly):
You need to put these on everything in your house that he can get his hands on
(hands her a sheet of stickers)
and teach him NOT to touch anything with this symbol on it!

Mother:
Will he be OK?

Doug (nods):
I want to keep an eye on him here for about another hour to be sure, but, yes, I think everything will be OK...

Mother (hand on her chest):
Oh, thank, God! He hasn't been walking very long...

Doug (nods, understanding):
Well, now that he IS walking, you need to put things where he can't get them...

Mother (nods):
Yes, you're right, Doctor...I'll take care of that...I promise...

Doug nods, goes on out of the room. Mark starts out, but, Chuney stays with the baby. Carol steps over to the mother and brings her a chair.

Carol (smiles):
Here you go...you can sit in here with him if you want...just don't touch any of the equipment.

Mother (puts chair close to the table):
Thank you.

Carol nods, then goes on out into the front office with Mark and Doug...back to normal.

Mark (quietly, to Doug):
Will you be going out for lunch?

Doug (nonchalantly, filling out chart):
I won't be going to lunch. I have an appointment I have to keep at two o'clock.
(Carol gives him a quick look...he catches her look and shrugs at her)
But, I won't be more than an hour or so...then you can leave at six and I'll stay tonight, OK?

Mark (nods):
Works for me!
(turns to Cynthia)
Can I interest you in some lunch? My treat!

Doug (chuckles):
Better take him up on that one, Cynthia...that's a rare treat!

Cynthia (smiles):
Oh, I don't know about that...he's been pretty good for that lately...

Doug (chuckles again):
Ummm...must be my cologne....

Mark gives him a smirk and he and Cynthia get their jackets and leave...Mark turns back from the staff door in the back just before they are gone.

Mark (to Doug):
Can I bring you anything? Sandwich? Anything?

Doug (shakes his head):
No, thanks. I'm not very hungry.

Mark shrugs and goes on out the door. Carol leans on the desk to face Doug with a concerned look.

Carol:
Are you OK?

Doug:
I have an appointment with Nina Pomerantz over at County.

Carol (smiles slightly):
Well, at least you told me about it this time.

Doug (sighs):
I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to worry. But, since that worried you, too, I won't do that again.

Carol:
Will Carter be working with you tonight?

Doug (nods):
Yes, and Malik...we'll be fine.

Carol (nods, arms folded across her chest):
OK...as long as you won't be here by yourself...

Doug (grins):
It would be OK even if I was. I'm not afraid. I'm OK.

Carol nods and then goes on about her work. Doug sighs heavily, then reaches up to rub his shoulder gently, making a face of pain as he does.

Fade Act One to Black.

Act Three

Scene opens at the C.A.R.E. center front desk. Carol, Mark and Cynthia are working there together. Show Mark and Carol conversing quietly between them.

Mark:
So, what's up with Doug?

Carol (frowns):
He's seeing Nina Pomerantz again.

Mark (surprised):
He is?
(Carol nods)
Why? I thought he was all over that.

Carol:
So did I...but he ran into somebody from his past that got it all rolling again.

Mark (nods):
Yeah, he mentioned that when the guy was here for Vax day.

Carol (flustered):
So, he tells YOU about it, but, he doesn't mention it to me!
(exasperated expression)
I just don't get it with him! I really don't!

Mark (shrugs):
Maybe he thought it was nothing at the time...maybe he thought it wouldn't amount to anything. He probably didn't expect it to bother him again.

Carol:
You know, he has never really talked about any of that to me. It's been almost nine months and I still don't have the faintest idea what really happened to him that night...aside from the medical side of it.

Mark (sits on the counter, toys with a file in his hands):
Well, he never talked to me about it either. I would guess he saves that kind of stuff for Nina.

Carol (frowns):
I guess, but, I just wish he would share more of this with me...it makes me wonder if he trusts me with this kind of stuff. Does that make sense?

Mark (shrugs):
Well, when you took all those pills, did the two of you ever talk about that? Did you ever explain to him why you did it? And exactly what his role in it was?

Carol (rolls her eyes):
That's a completely different issue all together!

Mark:
Is it?

Carol:
Well, yeah!

Mark:
How so?

Carol:
Well, that was something I did to myself for reasons that only I understand. What happened to Doug he had no control over.

Mark:
But, both of them changes your lives.

Carol:
Well, yeah, but...
(falters...not sure what to say)
...it's just different, Mark.

Mark:
I'm not defending him...I think he should level with you, too...but maybe it's not easy for him to talk about it with you.

Carol:
But, I'm his wife. And on top of that, I know everything about Doug there is to know! Why wouldn't he feel like he could share this with me?

Mark (shrugs):
Maybe he thinks it would hurt you too much?

Carol (nods):
Yeah, maybe. I just get so frustrated with him sometimes! Just about the time I think things are going well, something else comes up that sets up back to the 'old Doug' days again.

Mark:
And what excuse does he give you?

Carol (smiles):
Oh, he says something sweet like 'with the kids and the center I didn't want to give you anything else to worry about'.

Mark (shrugs):
Maybe he means it.

Carol (grins):
I think part of him does. Last night, we ended up with Tatchie in bed with us because of the storm...

Mark (chuckles):
See? There's a good Dad...

Carol (smiles):
Now, Scott's wanting to have a little Halloween party for his friends at school and he's thinking about girls...

Mark:
An area Doug should surely be able to help him with!

Carol (very quietly...shifts the tone):
Doug's taking reds...any idea what reason he would have for wanting that much sleep?

Mark:
How long has he been taking them? Where did he get them?

Carol:
Nina gave them to him...I don't know how long he's been taking them...not long I don't think. I found them last night when I found him sleeping on the couch.

Mark:
Well, then, I guess you should maybe ask him why he needs that much sleep.

Carol:
I'm worried about him Mark...I think there's more going on with him right now than he's willing to talk to me about.

Mark (assuringly):
You'll just have to trust him, Carol...trust him that he will turn to you when he's ready for you to know.

Carol (nods):
Yeah...I guess so...I thought he might need sleep for his shoulder, but, he didn't say anything about it.

Mark (relieved):
So, you know about his shoulder?

Carol (grins):
He's had that before...comes and goes...when the weather get cooler usually. Yeah, Mark...I know about that...
(laughs)
Anything that involves pain that he can turn into 'comfort time' he milks for all its worth!

Carol goes on back to her filing and Mark checks the register for the next patient.

Cut to County General Hospital to a hallway by the elevators. Show Doug standing waiting for the elevator doors to open and pick up Peter Benton coming down the hallway. He sees Doug and walks over to him quickly, tapping his shoulder and reaching to shake his hand.

Peter:
Doug! Good to see you! How you been?

Doug (turns, shakes hands with Peter with a grin):
Peter! Hey! I'm doing well! And you?

Peter (nods):
Can't complain too much...things are a lot different around here since you been gone...
(pauses)
We miss you.

Doug:
Well, that's always nice to hear.

Peter:
Carla told me she was bringing Reese to you over at C.A.R.E.

Doug (nods):
Yeah, she is...you got a fine healthy little boy there, Peter. He's great.
(elevator door opens)

Peter:
Good seeing you, Doug...I'll talk to you later...

Doug (nods):
Sure!

Show Doug go into the elevator and the door close. Stay focused on the doors and when they open again, Doug steps out, walks across the hallway and stops at an office door. He doubles up his fist and knocks solidly on the door. Nina Pomerantz comes around the corner of the hallway and smiles when she sees him.

Nina (cheerfully):
Doug! Hi! You're early!

Doug (nervously, shifts his weight):
Yeah! A little.

Nina (opens her office door):
Come on in!

Doug follows her into the office. She goes behind her desk and picks up a folder, carrying it with her around the to front of her desk and she leans against the desk gently. Doug slides into a chair in front of the desk and nervously begins to toy with his hands.

Nina (quietly):
How are you feeling today?

Doug (nervously):
Well, uh, Carol found the pills and we had a fight about that...

Nina (concerned):
You didn't tell her about them?

Doug (shakes his head):
I didn't even tell her I was back here...

Nina (frowns):
Now, Doug...we talked about trust and support, remember!?

Doug (nods):
I know...I just didn't want to bog her down with my problems.

Nina:
That should be her decision, Doug...not yours. We've talked about this...

Doug (nods nervously):
I know.

Nina:
Now, did the pills help you with your nightmares?

Doug (nods):
Well, yeah! They knocked me completely out and the house could have caved in on me without waking me up I think! Not good either. I cut them back to just one every other night a few days ago...I was afraid something might happen...
(pauses)
Nina, I didn't tell you what drove me back here...what started all the nightmares again...

Nina (shakes her head):
No, you didn't. And I figured you would when you wanted me to know.
(Doug toys with his hands. Nina puts the folder on the desk behind her and sits in the chair across from him)
Is that what you want to talk about today?

Doug (ticks his head):
I think so...

Nina (smiles...nods):
Then, let's talk...

Doug (begins to ramble):
We had a free Vaccination day at the center just recently... there was a man there with a little girl. This man, he shook hands with me...
(frowns)
Maybe I should back up...it really started before that...before I left here, there was a guy came into the ER downstairs and while we were working on him, he reached up and grabbed hold of my arm. When he touched me, it just sent a shock wave through me...like a jolt or something...and the nightmares really started about then.
(Nina does not interrupt him...just listens carefully)
So, I kind of shook it all off...like maybe I just had a bad day or something. I didn't think anything else about it until Vax day...and this guy...he shook hands with me...and when he did, I felt that jolt again. I knew then that what I felt the first time wasn't just my imagination...that what thought then was really true...I HAD felt that touch before. This man was one of the ones who held onto me that night in the parking garage.

Nina:
You're sure about this?

Doug (nods):
Very sure. So, I took the register and read about him...he's a married man...got four kids...lives in a nice area of town...has a good job...doesn't fit any of the stigma you would think would be pinned to someone who would be involved in something so sick...it doesn't make any sense!

Nina:
And what conclusion did you draw from your observations?

Doug (shrugs):
That maybe it was just something that happened...maybe he didn't plan to be in on it...maybe they were all drunk...I don't know. I probably came up with a dozen different things...none of them justify anything.
(Nervously looks away from Nina...then back at his hands)
You just can't justify doing something like that to another person, Nina! I don't care how many loop holes you try and give a person...it just never makes any sense.

Nina (touches his hand comfortingly):
You've never told me anything about that night, Doug. Have you ever told anybody?
(Doug gives her a careful look over the top of his bangs)
Have you told Mark?
(Doug shakes his head no)
Have you told Carol?
(another 'no' response)
So, to this day, almost nine months later, you are still the only person who knows what happened to you that night?

Doug (shifts his weight):
Mark and Carol know...

Nina (shakes her head):
Mark and Carol know what happened, but, they don't know HOW it happened. They know what was done to you because they treated you in the ER after it happened, but, they don't know what happened to you.
(Pauses)
I've never pushed you on this because I always felt like you could work it out for yourself. But, if it's still haunting you, maybe you should talk about that night. It might be the only way you ever completely put it behind you.

Doug (nervously):
Talk about it...you mean, like tell you exactly how everything happened Piece by piece?

Nina (nods):
Yeah. I really think that might be the best thing for you.

Doug:
We gonna do that today?

Nina:
I think today's as good a day as any.

Doug:
Well, then, can we call Carol? Because, I really think she should hear all this and I don't know if I can tell it twice.

Nina:
We can call Carol, or, if you think it might make you uncomfortable talking about it with her here, I can record the session for you and you can let her listen to it.

Doug (nods):
Yeah, maybe that might be better.
(Nods again)
Yeah...let's do that.

Nina pats Doug's hand for comfort and goes around to her desk. She takes out a tape recorder and places it on the desk in front of Doug.

Focus on Doug's nervous look and Fade Act Two To Black.

Act Three

Scene opens at C.A.R.E. Center. Carol is busy working about the front desk area, but she keeps glancing up at the clock on the wall. It shows it is nearly 3:30 PM. Doug has been gone almost two hours. Show Mark come up beside her casually.

Mark (quietly):
Don't worry about the time, Carol. I'm the one covering for him.

Carol (nods):
I know.

Mark:
Don't worry about it...

Carol:
I'm not worried about the time he's missing from here. I'm worried about how long he's been with Nina. Something must be going on for him to be there this long.

Mark and Carol are distracted by the ringing phone at the front desk. Cynthia reaches to pick it up immediately and we hear only her side of the conversation.

Cynthia:
Cook County C.A.R.E. Center! How can I help you? Yes, she's here...just a moment please.
(reaches the phone to Carol)
For you...it's a Dr. Pomerantz at County General...

Carol (snatches phone quickly):
Nina!? What's wrong? Is Doug all right?
(she nods, nervously)
OK...you're sure he's OK? Why do you need to give him that? No, don't do that...I'll come and get him. Nina, please, I'd rather take him home myself...I can be there in five minutes. OK. I'm on my way.
(she hands the phone back to Cynthia and gives Mark a sad smile)
Looks like you're working late tonight.

Mark (concerned):
What happened?

Carol (shakes her head as she reaches for her jacket):
I don't know. Nina just said she's going to give him a sedative and send him home.

Mark (as she starts for the door):
Call me later, OK? And let me know he's OK?

Carol nods quickly from the door and disappears out it. Mark gives Cynthia a concerned look, then motions her to the phone.

Mark:
Page Dr. Carter for me, will you? Please? Tell him he needs to come on in now...there's been a change in the schedule.

Cynthia (nods):
Right away, Dr. Greene.

Cut to show Carol racing through the hallway at County General. She gets to an elevator just before it completely closes and forces the door back open to wedge herself in. Stay focused on her inside the elevator, she is nervously watching the floor indicator and impatiently waiting to get to her floor. Show the doors open and she pushes past people to dart out. She goes immediately to Nina's office door and knocks on the door. Nina opens the door, steps out into the waiting area with her, and closes the door behind her.

Carol (worried):
Nina, what happened? Is Doug all right?

Nina (directs Carol to sit down with her):
Doug has had a very draining session.

Carol (nods that she understands):
Is he OK?

Nina (nods):
He's going to be fine...I just don't want him to go back to work. I'm going to order a sedative for him and I want him rest.

Carol (nods):
OK...does he get the shot here? Do I take him and let Mark give it to him? What?

Nina:
You can give it to him when you get him home. I'll sign a waiver for you, not that I think anyone would contest it later, but that's all you'll need to cover you.

Carol (nods):
OK.

Nina:
I'm going to give you the tape from this session. Sometime when you have time, I think you should listen to it.

Carol:
Did something happen here today?

Nina:
Doug pretty much closed the door today...does that mean anything to you?

Carol (covers her mouth in realization):
Oh, God...he relived the attack?
(Nina nods)
He's never really talked about it much before...

Nina:
He wanted to call you before he started the session...we both decided that knowing you were here might hamper him or make him uncomfortable, so, he agreed to let me record it Then, he just let his defenses go and told me everything.

Carol (concerned):
You're sure he's OK?

Nina:
He's just very drained. You take him home...put him in bed...give him this shot...and let him sleep...and I think things will start to look a little better for him tomorrow.

Carol:
Did he tell you about the man? The touch?

Nina (nods):
Yes, he told me that was what had triggered all the nightmares...

Carol (sighs):
Why wouldn't he talk to me, Nina? I didn't know he was having nightmares! I don't know but what he was sleeping on the couch and setting the alarm to come back to bed so I wouldn't know he'd been gone! Why didn't he trust me with this?

Nina:
He trusts you, Carol...he just doesn't want to worry you. You know that Doug has this 'I have to be strong' attitude. He's always going to be that way. He doesn't mind being the one for someone to lean on, but, he still hasn't learned yet how to lean on someone else. But, don't confuse that with a lack of trust.

Carol (sighs):
I just want to help him, Nina. How can I if he won't let me?

Nina:
You HAVE helped him, Carol. More than you will ever know. Come on...he's ready to go home.

Carol nods and stands up with Nina to follow her back into her office. Doug is in the chair in front of Nina's desk. He is curled in it, his legs draped over one arm of it, resting his head back into the high leather backing of it. His look is completely emotionally drained. Carol goes to him at once and stoops down on his level to peer up at him carefully.

Carol (smiles slightly):
Hey.

Doug (gives her a blank look):
Hey.

Carol (reaches for his hand):
You ready to go home?

Doug (nods):
Are you mad at me?

Carol (almost laughs):
Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?

Doug (lets her pull him to his feet):
What about Mark? Is he mad at me? He has to work tonight...

Carol (puts her arm around him once he is on his feet):
Mark doesn't mind...it's OK. Let's just go home. OK?

Nina (as she walks them to the door):
OK, Carol, everything you need is in here, OK?
(hands her a packet)
Call me if you need anything at all, OK?

Carol (takes packet...nods):
I will, Nina...thanks.

Nina (touches his shoulder):
Doug, you just rest tonight, OK? And I'll let you call me, OK?

Doug (nods):
Thanks, Nina.

Nina (smiles):
It's going to be OK, Doug.

He stops walking and looks her in the eye, nodding slowly. Carol puts her arm around him and walks him on out to the elevator.

Cut to show Doug and Carol coming up the walk to their home, still arm in arm. They go through the front door and Helen comes to help them.

Helen (concerned):
Is everything all right?

Carol (nods):
Everything's fine, Mama. I can handle it.

Carol starts up the steps with Doug...Helen stays watching from the bottom of the steps. Just as they get to the top of the steps, Doug catches sight of Tatiana and Scott glaring up the steps in wonder of what's going on and this bothers him.

Doug:
Why didn't she keep the kids outside?

Carol (assuringly):
Don’t worry about it...the kids are fine.

Carol helps Doug to their bedroom and he eases himself down on the bed. Carol gets his shoes off him while he tosses his jacket to the foot of the bed. Carol helps him tug out of his jeans and he pulls the covers back to crawl into bed in his t-shirt and shorts. Carol opens the packet from Nina and takes out the syringe full of medicine for Doug. She pushes the sleeve of his t-shirt up and swabs his arm for the injection, giving it to him gently. Then she draws the covers up around him and leans over him to tuck him in.

Carol:
Now, just rest, OK?

Doug (takes her hand limply in his own):
Did she give you the tape?
(Carol nods)
I wanted to tell you about it, Carol. I really did...

Carol (cuts him off):
Doug, it's all right. None of that matters right now. The most important thing right now is for you to just rest and feel better.

Doug (holds her hand tighter):
Listen to the tape, Carol. Please?

Carol (kisses his forehead):
Go to sleep, Doug. We'll have plenty of time to talk about everything later.

Carol slips quietly out the door and closes it behind her. Then she goes down the stairs and goes into the kitchen, where Helen is sitting at the kitchen table. Without a word, Carol goes to the refrigerator and pulls out the milk carton, pours milk into a glass she retrieves from the sink, and sits down at the table with her mother.

Helen:
Is Doug all right?

Carol (nods):
He'll be fine.

Helen (carefully):
Has he been drinking?

Carol (annoyed):
Drinking? No! Of course not! Why would you think that?
(Helen shrugs)
Because I was helping him? Do you think that I would have been helping him like that if he were drunk? He's just not feeling very well. Once he gets some sleep, he'll be fine.

Carol:
Do you want me to stay for the children?

Carol:
No, Mama, I am perfectly capable of taking care of my own children AND my husband. Thank you, anyway.

Helen (apologetically):
I didn't mean to upset you, dear.

Carol (sighs):
I know, Mama...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell at you. Everything will be fine.

Carol walks her mother to the door and waves her good bye. When she turns around, she turns into the concerned eyes of Scott Ross. The boy is standing at the foot of the steps, with his hands wrapped around the banister, staring at her.

Scott (very quietly):
Is there something wrong with my Dad?

Carol (sighs, collects her thoughts):
You Dad is going to be just fine as soon as he gets some rest. He's just not feeling very well right now.

Scott (shrugs):
What's wrong with him?

Carol (repeats):
He's just not feeling very well right now.

Scott:
Is he sick?

Carol (truthfully):
No, he's not sick...

Scott (shrugs):
Then, what's wrong with him.

Carol sits on the bottom step and motions him to join her. He walks around and sits down close to her and she puts her arm around his shoulders.

Carol:
Your Dad just came from a session with a psychiatrist...remember Nina Pomerantz? The lady he took you to talk to after your Mom and Dennis?
(Scott nods)
Well, your Dad talks to her sometimes, too.

Scott:
About me?

Carol (squeezes his shoulders):
No, not about you! You are a great kid! And your Dad is really happy you're here. You are the furthest thing from his problems that there could ever be.

Scott:
Then, why does he need a psychiatrist?

Carol:
Before we found you...before he was ever really even looking for you, something really bad happened to your Dad...and sometimes, still, he needs help dealing with it.

Scott:
What happened to him?

Carol:
Somebody hurt him.

Scott (concerned):
Hurt him? How? Did they beat him up?

Carol (nods):
Yeah...somebody beat him up...beat him up really bad. And sometimes, he just needs to talk to Dr. Pomerantz about that. And today, it just got to him a little more than usual.

Scott:
Hard to think about my Dad letting something 'get to' him.

Carol (smiles):
Grown ups are people, too, Scott.

Scott (nods):
Yeah, I know. OK...Is there anything I can do to help?

Carol:
Yeah, there is! You can play down here with Tatchie for a while so I can get some work down that I need to do, OK? Will you do that for me?

Scott (nods and smiles):
Sure...I can do that!

Scott goes off in one direction and Carol goes into another room alone. She takes the tape from Nina's packet and puts it in a walkman, carefully placing the headset over her ears. Then, she curls up in a chair and carefully pushes the 'on' button to the recorder to start the tape playing.

Fade Act Three to Black.

Act Four

Scene opens focused on Carol curled in her chair with the walkman headset on her head listening to the tape of Doug's session with Nina Pomerantz.

**Author's Note**

For easier reading of this section, if the script says

Doug (overtone):

That means you will hear Doug's voice as he is recollecting the events he is describing it to Nina

If it says

Doug:

That means the event is simply happening in flashback.

Hope this isn't too complicated...everything would be shown in an actual shown as it is being described **

Doug (overtone):
I left the hospital about 7PM. I had a dinner date with Carol and I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted to get to Carlucci's first so I could ask the band leader if he would play THE GIRL THAT I MARRY for us when I asked her to marry me. My car was parked in the parking port across from the hospital, so, I went out the back way to get there. Before I came to the doors to the parking port, there was a guy there smoking a cigarette over close to a dumpster out there...

Man (approaches Doug):
Hey, Buddy, got a light?

Doug (shakes his head):
No, sorry...I don't smoke...

Doug (overtone):
I started to just step past him. I got about three steps towards my car and the next thing I knew, my face was up against the brick was behind me. And now, instead of just this one guy, there were two more...one on either side of me, holding my hands up over my head and pinning me to the wall...

Man (holds a knife quickly to Doug's throat):
Just do what I tell you, Buddy...and you'll live to tell the tale.

Doug (overtone):
He put a knife to my throat and told me if I just did what he told me to do, he wouldn't kill me. I was pinned so tight against the wall that couldn't get free. I kept waiting for this guy to want something...money...credit cards...the diamond ring in my pocket...anything that would make some sense out of what was happening, but, he never asked me for anything. Then, he cold cocked me so hard it took my breath away. I went down on my knees like a ton of bricks.

Man:
Pick him up and get him over here out of sight!

Doug (overtone):
These two guys on either side of me picked me up and carried me off behind the dumpster into a dark corner behind the garage. These guys on either side of me each held me to the ground with one arm and one leg pinned between them. I couldn't get up. I couldn't get loose. I got the impression the leader wanted me to scream...to yell...or something...

Nina (overtone):
Why did you think that?

Doug (overtone):
Because he didn't gag me. Rule of thumb is usually if you don't want someone to yell, you gag them. If you want them to yell, you don't. So, I was determined I wasn't going to give him what he wanted...no matter what he did to me, I wasn't going to yell. He told his cronies to hold me...

Man:
Hold him...hold him REAL still...

Doug (overtone):
...and he handed the knife to the guy on my right...

Nina (overtone):
Would that be the man you've recently run into?

Doug (overtone):
No, that's not him. All he did was hold onto me. So, he handed the knife over to someone else and he reached both his hands underneath me and started to undo my belt buckle. I started to twist...and squirm...trying to find some weak link so I could get free...but all it did was make these guys tighten their grip. He got my belt loose and unzipped my pants. I think that was when I finally realized what he had in mind. I felt a panic start to rise in me because I knew there was nothing I could do. I couldn't even fight back. All I could was close my eyes and try and think of something that would help me get through it...

Nina (overtone):
And what did you focus on?

Doug (overtone):
I couldn't focus on anything. There was nothing I could think of that was going to take away what was fixing to happen to me. I wanted to think about Carol and that night we were supposed to be having together...but everytime I thought of her, I just thought about wondering what this was going to do to our relationship...would she still want me when this was over? So, I tried not to think about anything while he started pulling my pants off me...

Man:
Spread him out...

Doug (overtone):
He told his cronies to 'spread me out' and they stretched me out spread eagle on the pavement. He didn't take my shorts off me, just pulled them down in the back to expose my ass. He reached around in front and grabbed onto me. I remember I closed my eyes real tight and tried not to think about anything at all. Then, I felt this burning sensation rush inside me. It was incredible. I felt like I was on fire from the inside out. I've never experienced that kind of pain before ever in my life. I could feel all this pressure on my back, and this burning feeling just kept starting and stopping all over again. Finally, it got to be too much for me...I started begging him to stop...but he didn't even let up. If anything, the pushing seemed to get more intense. Then, off in a distance, I heard a door slam. I couldn't make out if it was a car door or the door slamming where someone coming out of the car port, but, as soon as I heard this, everything stopped. The pressure was off my back...the burning stopped...and these two guys beside of me let go of my hands and legs. I heard footsteps walking away from me very quickly. I tried to look over my shoulder to see if I could see anybody, but, I couldn't even move. I just laid there, trying to get my sense back enough to get up. I reached out and grabbed onto the dumpster to pull myself up on my feet. I managed to get my pants up and back on, but, by now, I was so shaken up I couldn't even think straight. I was hurting so bad. I knew I was bleeding because I could feel it. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there, staring into the street lamp up overhead with every emotion and every nerve in my body going completely nuts...

Nina (overtone):
How long did you stand there like that?

Doug (overtone):
I don't remember...

Nina (overtone):
What brought you back to reality?

Doug (overtone):
I heard the clock at the Courthouse strike...I think I heard it strike Nine. I knew then I was late for my date with Carol. I was so upset, I shoved both my hands into my pants pockets...and that's when I felt the ring. And when I felt that ring, I remembered what this whole evening was supposed to be about. And I got this really sick feeling in my stomach. I was late. I had stood her up. Was she going to be mad at me? Was I going to be able to make this up to her? Not the things I should have been thinking about....would she still want me...would she understand? I knew I had to get some help and I didn't want to wait too long to get it. I couldn't bring myself to get into the car port and get my car...something made me feel like the attackers were still in there or something...so, I headed for the El and got on the train and rode to Mark's place. When I got to Mark's I didn't see his car anyplace...

Nina (overtone):
Why Mark? Why did you pick Mark? Why was he the first person that came to your mind?

Doug (overtone):
Because I trust him...I know beyond everything he IS my friend...and I knew he wouldn't judge me much...he'd just help me. If he was going to judge me, he'd do it after...that he would just help me first.

Nina (overtone):
But, he wasn't home, you said?

Doug (overtone):
Right, I didn't see his car anyplace. I knew Rachel was staying with him and I knew I probably looked like a mess. My face hurt...I knew my eye was swollen because it hurt just to blink it...I didn't want to scare Rachel, so, I figured I'd better just wait outside for Mark. I was going to sit on the steps and wait, but, I couldn't sit down. It hurt too much. So, I went beside the steps where I could just crouch down without sitting...my stomach hurt so bad I was sure something had been ripped up inside me. I kept listening and waiting until I finally heard Mark come up the steps. But, by then, my knees were locked and I could barely stand up. So, I made noise with the garbage cans down there to get his attention so he'd come down there to me. Mark came down and found me...I was babbling like an idiot worried about standing Carol up...he practically dragged out of me what happened...I finally broke down and let him in on everything...he told me he would have to have assistance for the exam...something I hadn't thought of...I wasn't sure who to let him call but finally decided to let him call Carol...

Nina (overtone):
Why Carol?

Doug (overtone):
Well, for starters, she's a trained rape counselor...she knows how to handle those kind of things emotionally...at that point, I didn't know if I had been raped or just exactly WHAT had happened that night...and I thought she might be good to have for emotional well being. Plus, I knew I could trust her...that she, like Mark, would just help me and not say anything to anybody...I didn't want the whole ER to know what had happened, but I knew I had to be checked...

Nina (overtone):
The exam at the hospital...was that an ordeal for you?

Doug (overtone):
I tried for it not to be...I knew I trusted Mark...but when he pushed that scope up inside me, it was everything I could do to keep from screaming. It was almost like the whole thing was happening all over again...except that Carol was there. She kept patting my back and my shoulders...saying comforting things and telling me it would be OK or it would be over soon... so I focused on her voice instead of the pain.

Nina (overtone):
And this worked for you?

Doug (overtone):
It got me through it...just knowing she could still touch me made me think things might be OK. Then when Mark wouldn't let me go home alone and she took me home with her...she never hesitated to say she would take me with her...she never faltered with me once we were alone...she just gave me support. She gave me a bath...told me she wanted her hands to be the last ones I felt on me that night...and when I couldn't sleep on the couch alone, she took me to her bed and let me sleep with her. But, she never touched me or made an advance on me...she never pushed me or tried to get me to do anything I didn't want to do. She was absolutely great. And I don't think she can ever know that I fell more hopelessly in love with her then than I ever imagined I ever could be.

Nina (overtone):
So, would that mean your feelings for Carol are based on gratitude?

Doug (overtone):
No...not at all. I've always been in love with Carol. I knew I was in love with her when we split apart. I was so scared to be in love with her...so scared to think that I could depend that much on someone...and as soon as we were apart, I was sorry. I wanted her back almost at once. But, she was already seeing Tag and when I tried to talk to her, I just got the cold shoulder...and I didn't blame her for that...I really didn't treat her very well...and I started to feel like I'd never have my chance to make things up to her...

Nina (overtone):
But, you DID get your chance...

Doug (overtone):
When she was going to marry Tag, I was crushed. I was more devastated than anyone knew...anyone except Linda, I guess. Linda seemed to know everything whether I told her or not...but when Carol and Tag didn't get married, I started to think that maybe I just MIGHT have another chance if I cleaned up my act... but I didn't straighten up right away...it took the incident with Nadine to finally show me what I had become. And I didn't want that. I knew what I wanted. And I knew the only way to get it was to get my act together. And I had that almost in place when the assault came. And I was determined not to let that destroy what I had spent months working so hard for...

Nina (overtone):
I have to hand it to you, Doug...your strength is incredible...

Doug (overtone):
But, now, I realize how dependent I am on Carol...and it scares me to death. She's the rock in my world...I don't know if my world can hold together without her. If it hadn't been for her, and her being there for me, I wonder if they would have been pumping my stomach for pills down in the ER after all this...and sometimes when I think about how solid she was for me, I hate myself for the fact that I couldn't be that strong for her when she needed me to be over her suicide attempt. I wanted to be there for her so bad...I just didn't know how to be.

Nina (overtone):
And have you ever come to grips with that yet?

Doug (overtone):
Yeah, I think I have...we still have some bugs in our relationship, but, I think that's what keeps it exciting. Otherwise, I think we'd just be another old married couple somewhere!

Pull focus to present and show Carol with a tear slipping down her cheek. She brushes the tear away, shuts off the recorder, and goes upstairs to the bedroom to Doug. He is resting, but, not sleeping. She sits on the bed beside him and reaches to pull him into her arms.

Doug (touches the tear stain on her cheek):
Hey! What's wrong?

Carol (kisses his cheek lightly):
I am so sorry about what happened to you, Doug. I wish there was something I could do to just take all that pain away from you like it never happened...

Doug (smiles...puts his hand on the back of her head):
You already have, Babe...the day you said 'I Do'.
(strokes her hair gently)
Carol, I know you would take all my pain away if you could...just like I would take all the pain you were feeling the night you took all those pills away if I could. But, I finally decided that we can't both keep dwelling on the past. It's always going to be there...we both know that. I think the best thing we can do is just learn from it and let it help us make a better future.

Carol (strokes his hair now):
Nina has done good with you...

Doug (grins):
Nina is just the counterlink...you are the lifeline.

Carol wraps her arms around him and lies down on the bed beside him. He nuzzles next to her and closes his eyes, secure in her arms.

Fade Act Four to Black.

Closing Act

Scene opens at C.A.R.E. center. The staff is assembled there and everyone is working on something different. Doug and Mark are back in the supply room, working again on restocking the shelves.

Doug (quietly):
Hey, Mark, thanks for filling in for me yesterday.

Mark (nonchalantly):
Not a problem...just glad you're feeling better.
(Doug stops stocking and rubs his shoulder carefully)
That shoulder still bothering you?

Doug (nods):
Yeah...nothing I do for it seems to help!

Mark:
Why don't you let me give you some cortisone? Or at least go over to County and let Ortho look at it?

Doug:
I'm gonna need it for the Halloween party tonight...

Mark:
Ah, yes! Carol mentioned something about a girl being involved?
(Doug chuckles)
Was she right?

Doug (nods):
Oh yeah!

Mark:
Well, did he tell you about it?

Doug:
Sure!
(backtracks a bit)
Well, OK, I had to coax him a little.

Mark (curious):
And how exactly did you do that?

Doug:
Oh, you know how it is with parents...I just told him a story about 'when I was your age' type thing.

Mark:
And that story would be?

Doug:
Well, I just told him when I was his age and I asked my Mom if I could have a party it was because there was some little girl I wanted to be with, but I didn't want people to think she was my girlfriend, so, the party was a perfect cover.
(Mark chuckles)
And then he told me everything.

Mark:
So, this is a Halloween party...what is everyone dressing up as?

Doug:
Well, Tatchie is going to be Batgirl. It was either that or Poison Ivy, and I decided she shouldn't be a villain at her age!
(Mark laughs)
Scott is going to go as that guy from The Peacemaker...

Mark (astonished):
The Peacemaker?

Doug (nods):
Yeah, he wanted to go as one of the Men In Black, but, it seems every boy in his class has the same idea. He wants to do something different so he'll attract this girls' attention, so, we decided a uniform does wonders for a man at ANY age.

Mark:
And what about Mom and Dad? What will they be dressed as?

Doug:
Well, we were going to go as Dr. and The Bride Of Frankenstein..

Mark:
I have a better idea...

Doug (coaxing):
Which is?

Mark:
Igor!

Doug (laughing):
Igor?

Mark:
Sure! Let me give you the cortisone in your shoulder, then you can wear a fake arm that dangles...

Doug:
You are just REALLY determined to stick my shoulder with a needle, aren't you?

Mark:
It's help...and you're not working for the next couple of days...this is an ideal time to do this...
(Doug frowns)
You can tie it up in a sling and I'll put a neruostimulator on it...Instant hump for Igor!

Doug (grinning):
You know...it just might work...

Mark:
So, you'll let me do this?

Doug (nods):
Yeah, but, this is your Christmas present this year!

Cut scene to the Ross/Hathaway home with a child size Halloween party in full swing. There are lots of decorations and kids in every kind of costume all over the house. Show Carol coming through with a tray of snacks. She is dressed as the Bride Of Frankenstein, her dress stained with "blood"... her hair done up in a beehive on her head with electrodes and bolts of lightning shooting out of it. Show Doug come to try and steal something off the tray. He is dressed as Igor in a burlap monk's cape, one side of his face distorted, and a hump on his back with a collar and chain around his neck.

Carol (smacks his hand away from the tray):
Doug! Those are for the kids!

Doug (imitates Igor's voice):
Yes, Mistress!

Carol shakes her head and takes the tray on into the living room, where the kids quickly crowd around it. Show Doug go over to Scott slowly. Scott is dressed in military fatiques and a beret and is standing off by himself.

Doug (quietly)
Which one is she, Sport?

Scott (points quickly):
Over there...
(Doug looks...sees a little girl in a business suit with and a security tag on her jacket)

Doug (confused):
What's she supposed to be?

Scott: (matter-of-factly):
She's a Nuclear Arms Smuggling Expert, Dad! Sheesh! You saw The Peacemaker, didn't you?

Doug:
She's your boss, in other words?

Scott:
Yeah.

Doug:
Well, why are you over here and she's over there? Why aren't you over there with her?

Scott:
What do I say to her?

Doug:
How about 'are you having a good time?' and take it from there.
(nudges his son to start moving)
Go on, Sport...before somebody beats you to her.

Doug stands and watches as Scott goes over and starts a conversation with this little girl. Show Carol come up behind him quietly.

Carol:
Growing up too fast, isn't he?

Doug (nods):
Especially since I just got him.

Carol:
I think it's a pretty nice party...what do you think?

Doug:
I think it's serving it's purpose.
(motions to Scott)
He seems to be doing OK over there.

Carol:
And Tatchie seems to be having fun, too...none of the kids seem to mind her here.

Doug (shrugs):
Kids are kids...they just want to have a good time.

Carol:
We need to still talk about another one...

Doug (nods):
We will.

Carol:
Does that means I might be able to interest in you in some extra activity later? Upstairs, perhaps?

Doug (brightens):
YES, Mistress!

Carol laughs as she starts away. Doug turns back to entertaining the kids at the party.

Fade Closing Act into closing credits of the show.

October 26, 1997