Here's a new one in the short series...and after last night I should have NO trouble writing anything I want right now...

Robin

"ER"
"Another Turn"
Author’s Note

This would be the fourth in a series following THE DARKEST HOUR, A WALK THROUGH THE WOODS, and SETBACKS in which Doug is recovering from a violent car wreck with Carol acting as his private duty nurse. Previously, Doug’s broken leg became infected and had to taken out of a cast and put in traction until the it could heal. This story picks up from there.

The characters in this story are not mine and no money is made by me for the use of them in this story.

Robin
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Carol:

I was taking a break in the ER staff lounge early in the morning when Mark came in to start his day. He grinned at me, sitting at the table, sipping on coffee with my head in my hands trying hard to wake up, as he put his jacket in his locker and pulled out his lab coat to tug himself into it?

"You OK?" he asked me lightly.

"I was up all night with Doug" I sighed.

"Really?" Mark seemed surprised. "Nobody called me about anything. Was his leg bothering him?"

"His leg...his back...and now we have new problems. He has a cough...and he’s running a fever. I’m afraid he might be going into pneumonia"

"I guess I better get up there and take a look at him, then" Mark sighed. "I was in hopes things would get better"

"I really don’t think he’s doing very well, Mark"

"Well, medically speaking, he’s doing about as well as can be expected. He had some very serious injuries from that crash. I’m frankly surprised he’s doing as well as he has been"

"Well, it’s catching up with him now"

"Why are you doing this, Carol?" Mark’s voice was soft. He sat down in a chair close to me so we could talk privately. "I mean, considering your past with him, and the fact that you are in a relationship with someone else...a relationship that’s bound to be suffering from the strain you’re putting on yourself with all this. And given that you know he wouldn’t do it for you..."

"I think he would have if he could have" I interrupted quickly. I knew Mark was referring to the fact that Doug only came to see me one time when I was recovering from my suicide attempt just a year before. "He just felt so guilty over that...he couldn’t clear his conscience enough to try and nurture me"

"I never understood why he blamed himself for that" Mark shook his head. "I just know he did...and for a long time...maybe still does for all I know"

"In December before that day in March, I was in a relationship with Tag and I slept with Doug" I told Mark quietly. "He didn’t force me or anything but he knew I was in a relationship with Tag and I think he just always felt like it was his fault. I tried more than once to tell him it was a two way street, and that I met him halfway quite willingly, but, he just never accepted that"

"You and Doug really have a flaming past" Mark chuckled.

"I love him, Mark. That’s why I can’t get off the ground with any other man...I keep looking for the excitement I get from Doug in all of them and it’s just not there"

"Does he know you love him?"

"Sure, he does. Just like I know he loves me. We just can’t live with each other. I can’t live with a man I can’t trust, and he can’t live with a woman who can’t communicate. Until one or the other of us works something out, we’re better off apart"

"So, you’re taking care of him out of guilt?"

"No, I’m taking care of him because I know how. I know all his quirks and needs better than anybody else around him. Doug is my friend..." I thought for a minute. "My best friend...and I want to help him if I can"

"Well, I have to say that’s admirable of you, anyway...that you can put your personal feelings aside and just tend to him as a professional. I guess I better get upstairs and take a look at him..."

"Tell him I’ll bring him some breakfast in a little while"

"I’ll do that" Mark nodded.

"Thanks, Mark...I’m going home for a few minutes and I’ll be back"

"Take your time, Carol...you need your rest, too"

I nodded as Mark started out of the room. Taking care of Doug wasn’t an easy job...I knew that from the past. Doug was the type of man that if he got a splinter in his finger he wanted his whole arm in a cast sometimes. He could be weak and helpless when he wanted to be. But, I wasn’t seeing any of that now. His fighting instinct seemed to be coming out. And that was good. Because I had a feeling that before all of this was over, he was really going to need it...

Mark:

Doug was restless when I went through the door of his room. And I was sure I would have been too. He didn’t look very comfortable. His broken leg was fixed in a sling and elevated up above his head in the traction splint. He still had minor cuts on his arms, face, and legs, as well as bruises. To move in any direction he had very limited movement and this seemed to frustrate him very much. He did, however, give me a halfway cheerful greeting when I went through his door.

"Hey, Mark" he sighed. "Any chance of getting into a step down unit anytime soon?"

"Well, I had hoped today, but Carol tells me you were up all night coughing? Is that right?"

"It’s just a little hacking cough. Nothing serious"

"Well, I’ll be the judge of that, OK?"

He sighed as I took the stethoscope from around my neck and placed it in my ears to listen to his chest.

"Deep breath" I encouraged him.

"That’s as deep as it gets" he told me lowly.

"OK" I nodded. "That’s fine" I moved the scope around several places on his chest and his back, listening carefully. When I took it off, he peered sheepishly up at me.

"Am I going into pneumonia?"

"Don’t you know doctors aren’t supposed to ever diagnose themselves?" I grinned at him. "It’s pleurisy"

"Oh, great" he groaned. "Another needle"

"I’ll get somebody up here this morning to drain that fluid off. And that means you’ll have to stay here another day at least"

"I’m gonna be here forever" he sighed.

"You’re gonna be here a while" I nodded. "But, don’t worry. I’ll make sure they take real good care of you" I looked at my watch. "I’ve got to get down to the ER...Carol said to tell you she’ll bring you some breakfast in a little bit...she was going home for a while"

"OK" he nodded. He looked so dejected that I almost felt sorry for him.

"I’ll get a surgeon up here to drain that fluid right away"

"Thanks"

I patted him on the shoulder and headed on out the door. Downstairs in the ER, I drafted Carter to go up and drain the fluid just as soon as he got a chance and he told me he’d take care of it. Then, I settled into my own routine in the ER...

Carol:

I could hear Doug coughing the minute I got off the elevator on the ICU floor and started down the hall.

"How long has he been like that?" I asked the nurse at the desk as I went by.

"Most of the morning" came the answer.

"Did Dr. Greene see him yet?"

"Yeah, a little while ago. He’s gone already"

"OK, thanks!’

I went into his room just as he leaned his head back into his pillow, exhausted from the coughing fit he was just recovering from. I went over to his bed and checked his fever...still there.

"What did Mark say about that fever?"

"That it was 102" he sighed at me.

"What about that cough? Beginnings of pneumonia?"

"Pleurisy" he shook his head.

"Well, that’s not good either" I set to taking things out of my shoulder bag and laying them on the chair. "I went to your apartment and I got you some things...basic essentials...shaving kit...toothbrush...things like that..."

"Thanks"

"I know they give you that stuff here but it’s not like your own stuff" he chuckled. "And I brought you a bagel and some juice for breakfast" I pulled out the bag that had breakfast for both of us in it and sat it on his table. "It’s even still warm"

"I’m not hungry" he mumbled.

"I don’t care if you are or not, you have to at least try to eat it anyway" I started taking everything out of the bag. "I got you butter because I don’t think you can handle cream cheese right now" he made a face when he thought I wasn’t looking. "I saw that" I teased him and finally, he at least grinned. I started spreading butter on this bagel, but he took the knife away from me.

"I can do it" he told me softly.

"OK" I nodded.

"Why are you doing this, Carol?" he gave me a coy look as he carefully spread the butter on the bagel.

"We’ve been over this before" I rolled my eyes. "I know how to take care of you better than anyone else so I’m taking care of you"

"I guess I shouldn’t complain" he grinned a little. "I guess I should just enjoy it"

"Yeah, try that for a while" I grinned at him.

He took two or three bites of the bagel but that was about all he could handle. And he sipped slowly on the juice through a straw but no sooner than it hit his stomach he was reaching quickly for a basin beside his bed. I secured the basin under his face and he promptly threw up the bagel and the juice. I took the basin away as he leaned back in his bed and groaned.

"I’m sorry" he told me.

"Sorry for what" I called to him from the bathroom as I rinsed his basin out with soap and water. "You couldn’t help it"

"I really wanted that bagel" he sighed as I returned to his bedside.

"I’ll get you another one later and you can try again, OK?" he nodded, but he wasn’t happy. I reached over and pushed his hair back away from his forehead. "I’ll tell Mark he may need to add some meds to your IV, OK?"

"OK" he sighed, very dejected.

"OK, I’m gonna go get some work done, but if you need anything, you buzz for me, OK?"

"OK" he nodded slowly.

He leaned his head back into his pillow and closed his eyes. I left him to try and get some rest. I was working at the front desk at the computer when I saw John Carter pass by from the elevator. I watched him down the hall and he turned into Doug’s room. I slipped around the desk to get to the doorway in time to hear Doug tell him...

"Just the fluid, now, Carter...don’t pierce my liver like you did that guy down in the ER...I got enough problems as it is!"

"Don’t worry, Dr. Ross! I know what I’m doing now!" Carter assured him.

Even with this new assurance, Doug didn’t look too sure about it. He watched with a suspicious eye as Carter rubbed his chest with a prep swab. When the needle went in, he didn’t kick up a fuss, but he grimaced a little and gripped the bed rail tightly in one hand. Once he was finished, and gone, Doug gave me a sad look.

"Are you OK?" I asked him lightly.

"I guess so" he mumbled.

"Something wrong?"

"Yeah"

"What’s wrong?"

"I have to use the bathroom" he seemed embarrassed to tell me this.

"What do you need? A bed pan? Or a urinal?"

"I don’t’ want you to have to do this for me" he gave me a helpless look.

"Doug, I’m a nurse. That’s my job! I do it all the time for complete strangers..."

"That’s different"

"No, it’s not. You’re a patient in this hospital right now and you know what we tell patients around here..."

"Check your dignity at the door" he groaned.

"That’s right!" I laughed at him. "So, what do you need?"

"I need a urinal" he mumbled lowly.

"Be right back!" I went out to the supply closet and got a plastic urinal to take back to him. I handed it to him, and he looked sheepishly at me, but when I didn’t leave, he got nervous.

"Can you pull the curtain? I can do this by myself"

"Are you sure?"

"I’m sure" he gave me a very emphatic look.

"OK" I pulled the curtain between us but I didn’t leave the room. While he couldn’t see me, I couldn’t help but smile. I couldn’t even imagine Doug being shy with me. I had taken showers with him, for heaven’s sake!

"OK" he mumbled finally. I opened the curtain and he handed me the urinal. I took it into the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet. I went back to his bed and drew the covers up around him, tucking them carefully so I wouldn’t hurt any of his injuries further.

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I’m fine"

"OK, buzz me if you need me"

"I will"

I went back to the desk and back to work. I knew none of this was easy for Doug. He wasn’t used to being helpless...and dependent on someone else. He was used to doing things for himself. But for the next few weeks, at least, he was going to have to let someone else do things for him. He was going to need help with just about everything. And I knew that was going to make him cranky...which was why I was the one taking care of him. I knew how to handle him...

Doug:

It was bad enough that I was laid up in bed and not able to do anything for myself...that I had to depend on someone else to do simple little things for me. It was even worse that Carol had taken it upon herself to be the one to take care of me. Although I was thoroughly enjoying the attention from Carol, at the same time, it was driving me crazy. Her hands on me...the look of concern from her eyes...even sick it got me excited. But I knew Carol’s feelings were strictly professional and platonic now. I had to learn to accept the fact that I was never going to have another chance with her as long as I stayed wild and reckless. And I knew I couldn’t change until I figured out why I did the things I did. Carol was with Shep now and she seemed happy. And I wanted her to be happy more than anything else in the world.

I was actually hurting all over, but, I didn’t want a painkiller...at least not until it was time to go to sleep. I was bored to death. There was nothing to do but flip channels on the TV, which was what I was doing when Carol came in with my lunch.

"What am I having?" I groaned.

"Well, considering the bagel didn’t sit very well with you this morning, I got you some soup. I figured that would be light and maybe you’d do better with it"

"Do I get crackers?"

"Sure, you can have anything you think you can eat. Just take it easy with it. It’s hot"

"I’m fine"

"OK, I’ll be back for your tray in a little while"

She left and played the spoon around the bowl waiting for the soup to cool down. I crumbled up a few crackers in it and it really looked good. And I managed to eat three or four whole spoonfuls of it because my stomach decided it was enough for it. I didn’t throw it up, but I sure felt like I was going to. I pushed the tray away and just relaxed into my bed. Carol came back about a half hour later and frown at me when she looked at the tray.

"You didn’t eat much"

"I ate as much as I could"

"Mark isn’t going to be very happy"

"Mark can get glad"

"Doug, you really need to stop fighting with this attitude of yours and just concentrate on getting well. Let us take care of you!"

"I’m not exactly used to being dependent on someone else, Carol"

"I know" She nodded and smiled. "But for a while, you better get used to it"

She picked up the tray and took it out of the room. I laid my head back into the pillow and tried to just clear my mind and rest...

Carol:

I was alerted by the buzzed from Doug’s room so I went to him quickly. I found him twisting and turning on the bed, holding his side, and grimacing in pain when I got there.

"What is it, Doug?" I went to his bed. "What’s wrong?"

"Get Mark!"

"Not until I know what to tell him"

"My side hurts...and my chest feels tight...I think this tube isn’t working right!"

"OK, just take it easy..."

I went back to my desk and paged Mark down in the ER. Then, I stood by the elevator and waited for him, ready the second he stepped into the hall.

"You paged me, Carol?"

"Doug says his side hurts and his chest is feeling tight. BP is 140/90 and his temp is 104 degrees"

"Isn’t any of this ever going to get any easier?" Mark groaned as he hurried down the hall to Doug’s room. "OK, Doug, take it easy...we’re gonna take care of you!"

"It hurts!"

"OK...let me see what’s going on" Mark examined the tube closely and shook his head and with sad look. "You’ve got infection setting in already, Doug. I’m gonna have to take this thing out and if the pleurisy continues, we’ll just have to extract it with a needle...take a deep breath..." Doug took a breath and gripped the side rails of his bed as Mark pulled the tube out. He cleaned and dressed the exit wound and put a patch on it, patting Doug on the shoulder once it was all done. "Get some rest, Doug. You’ll feel better in a while" with a motion of his head, he asked me to follow him into the hallway. "We need to get that fever down. Start with a cool bath...if that doesn’t work, put him on ice. And PAGE ME with any changes, no matter how small, OK?"

"OK, Mark" I nodded shortly. Then, just as he got in the elevator, my thoughts overran me. "Mark?" he looked back at me to give me his attention. "Doug’s not going to die, is he?"

"I sure hope not" Mark shook his head. "But if he doesn’t start getting better pretty soon, that’s going to become a possibility"

The door closed us off for him to go back to the ER while I gathered up the things for Doug’s bath. When I took them into his room, he gave me a curious look as I started laying everything out on the table beside his bed.

"What are you doing?"

"You need a bath"

"Why? Do I smell?" he grabbed the front of his shirt and sniffed it lightly.

"Yeah, you’re getting a little rank" I teased him. "It’s eucalyptuses" I told him, showing him the bottle of body wash, "Supposed to relax you"

"I think you need a bigger bottle" he scoffed.

"Come on" I helped him out of his shirt. "Down to your boxers"

"I never had a bed bath before" he informed me.

"Well, there’s a first time for everything!" I smiled at him. He never took his eyes off me as I started slowing washing the mixture from my pan over his arms and I felt myself shiver from that look.

"You know what this reminds me of?" he smiled weakly.

"Yeah, I do" I nodded...remember all the times we used to bath together in the tub at my apartment before I moved into my house.

"Your hands are always so gentle" he reached out and touched my hand, rubbing my fingers loosely between his, his eyes burning into my soul.

"Stop that, Doug...I’m your nurse...nothing more...I’m just doing my job"

"I know" he grinned just a little. Then, his smile feel as he nodded. "I know"

He still never took his eyes off me and I tried my best not to look at him as I worked. I washed his back, and his chest...being very careful with his chest because he was hurt in so many places. I washed his arms and his neck, working my way to his legs and feet, being careful with the broken leg so I wouldn’t hurt him. All the while, I could remember those times we bathed together...his hands gently washing soap over my body and carefully caressing it into my skin...his kisses on my neck when he pulled my hair up away from my skin...just the thought of his hands on me sent cold chills down my spine. No other man ever had that effect on me...only Doug.

His bath over, I set to putting clean clothes on him. And when I pulled his shirt over his head, he was sitting up on the bed, bracing himself with the bed rails with his hands on my shoulders. He looked me in the eye and I saw a flash of fear in them. Then, without warning, he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face on my shoulder, his body suddenly wracking with sobs.

"I don’t want to die, Carol" his voice choked in this throat. "This wasn’t my fault! I don’t want to die!"

"You’re not going to die, Doug!" I held him tight in my arms and squeezed him gently for reassurance. "I’m not going to let you!" I kissed his hair and let him release his pinned up, restrained emotions. He was safe with me. But I was fighting to keep my own tears back...I was very afraid for him...I just didn’t want him to know it.

"I’m a doctor, Carol" He pulled back now, starting to compose himself. "I know how bad I am"

"Well, then, stop thinking like a doctor and just concentrate on getting better. You let us worry about your condition...OK?"

"I’ll try"

"Come on...lay down...and try to just relax, OK?"

"OK" he let me ease him down on the bed and didn’t resist when I pulled the covers up around him. Before I left the room, I reached slowly into the bag of things I’d brought for him and pulled out a pretty well loved stuffed Care Bear.

"You remember this, Doug?" I showed it to him with a sheepish smile.

"Yeah" he chuckled lightly. "I bought that for you after our first fight"

"You remember what you told me when you gave him to me?"

"Yeah" then nodded sadly. "That you’d always have a friend as long as you had him"

"And I always have had" I told him sincerely. "But, right now, I think you need a friend more than I do" I tucked the bear carefully under the covers right beside him.

"You’re giving him back to me?" he looked at me with the saddest eyes I’d ever seen.

"No...just letting you borrow him. I intend to take him back"

"Lucky bear" Doug sighed. Then he snuggled under the covers and closed his eyes...shutting me out.

I turned out his light and started out of his room...stopping long enough to note that his temperature was down to 102 degrees...down...but not nearly enough. I went back to my desk and canceled my date with Shep...until Doug was out of danger, I wasn’t leaving the hospital...

November 6, 1998