"One Hundred Percent Chance of Rain - Part 1"

OK! When you get bored with what you're doing, you try something new, right?  This is something new. One story...on title...broken into "parts" or "chapters" each with their own title and all built around one theme. I tried this with the wreck story but this is a better idea....I can do more with this.

Maybe not in the form you guys were hoping, but it IS Doug.

Let me know if th is works for you...

Robin
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“ER”

“One of Life’s Funny Twists”

Part One

“One Hundred Percent Chance of Rain”

Carol:

Everything in the ER was unusually quiet, even for the middle of the night. Filing at the desk, I paused to look up at the clock on the wall...nearly 2AM. Almost none of the regular crew was working. Susan Lewis had left about 11PM, taking baby Susie with her. I had to admire her for the juggling act she was doing...working on her residency and trying to take care of her niece at the same time. She seemed to be working everything out but I wondered if she had any kind of a life of her own. But, then, I wondered if she even wanted a life of her own. She seemed happy with the baby her sister had abandoned. It made me think about Tatiana in my own life...and that made my heart ache. I had wanted that little girl so desperately. She was seven years old, bright, and eager to learn...and be loved. We communicated in Russian and English and I loved every minute I was with her. She gave me life meaning...and purpose. The fact that she had Aids was immaterial to me...I was willing to love her for whatever time she had left in this world. But, one mistake in my life was all it took to whisk that chance away. I just wasn’t sure how they had discovered I’d taken an overdose of pills in a suicide attempt less than a year before. I supposed most anyone and the hospital would have told the authorities when they investigated my background. Or it surely would have been in my records. Whatever the case, Tatiana seemed like such a long time ago to me now.

When I thought about the night I took the overdose of pills, I still couldn’t pinpoint what the trigger had been. It hadn’t been a bad day...not an overly stressful day. I had gone to breakfast with Susan and we talked about men. I had gone to lunch with John Taglieri and he started talking about marriage again. John and I had been dating for quite a while and he had started talking about getting married very early in our relationship. I liked Tag.  He was good...and kind...and sweet...and very romantic. When I was with him, I knew I was the only woman in his world and that was a feeling I wasn’t really used to with a man. But, marriage wasn’t really on my mind. I enjoyed being with him and I never wanted that to end but the thought of marrying him scared me to death. And during our lunch, getting married was about all he talked about. I’d gone back to work, worked out the afternoon, left at 6PM, gone home, and started drinking. I always drank when I was nervous or upset. I drank whatever was sitting around...scotch....vodka...it didn’t seem to matter and nothing seemed to have any taste anyway. But, whatever feeling I was looking for wasn’t coming from the whiskey so I went to the bathroom, opened the medicine chest, and found an almost full bottle of prescribed sleeping pills. I sat on the throne and took the pills with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s...one at a time. I didn’t even remember taking the last one.  I had no idea when I’d hit the floor. And I had no memory of anything that happened after that until I woke up in County Hospital three days later. The burning question from the staff and my friends was ‘why?’ and I just kept muttering ‘I don’t know’. And that was a lie. I did know...I just couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone about it.

John Taglieri supported me 110% during my recovery, and we did make a date to get married. The closer I got to the wedding, the more unsure I was about everything. And on my wedding day, John finally had the guts to ask me if I loved him the way he loved me...and I had to admit that I didn’t. He thanked me...and walked away...and out of my life forever. Two days later he left County to take a job in New York.

“Put me on the board, will you, please, Carol?”

Mark Greene’s voice popped my daydream and brought me back to reality.

“Sure thing, Mark”

I picked up the marker and wrote his name on the board. The crew tonight consisted of him, Kerry Weaver, and a handful of interns and med students.

“Looks like it’s pretty quiet tonight” Mark commented as he came to the desk, shuffling through charts and looking over his box. “Has it been this way long?”
“All night” I nodded. “I came on at 6 and it’s been like this since about midnight”
“Well, I’d like to think it’ll be this quiet all night, but, I’m sure it probably won’t” he sighed. “Is Doug working tonight?”
“No, he comes on about 9”
“OK, tell him I need to talk to him when he comes in, please? Ask him to see me before he starts his shift”
“Sure” I nodded.

Doug Ross...just the mere mention of his name sent cold chills down my spine. Our resident Pediatrician, he was, without a doubt, the most sensuous man I had ever known in my life. His kisses could melt the arctic cap...his touch could have started the Chicago fire faster than Mrs. O’Leary’s cow did. Sometimes, I could just hear his voice and it could make me feel weak all over. I had often times wondered why I didn’t leave County when my relationship with him crumbled over his womanizing and drinking. But, I knew why I was still there. Even if I couldn’t have him to myself, I could still have him in my life. And I wanted him in my life. I NEEDED him in my life. He was excitement that I had never known before...and excitement I wondered if I would ever know again. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get him out of my mind. I knew that if I gave him even the slightest inkling I was still interested he would have bounded back into my life in a heartbeat. More than once he had told me he loved me...that he was sorry for the mistakes he made and he wanted a chance to make them all right. And I wanted to believe him. But, my heart just couldn’t take another chance with him. I loved him too much and too deep to be hurt again. And whether or not he would hurt me again, I would never know...because I wouldn’t take the chance to find out.

Even after our break-up, Doug had remained my friend. He was always there for me if I needed anything, whether it was a shoulder to cry on or just moral support. The night I found out I could never get Tatiana, I’d gone to him, crying like an idiot...my heart completely crushed with grief and disappointment...and he’d been there for me...letting me into his apartment...holding me in his arms...brushing my tears away with his strong fingers. I wanted to be with him. I needed him more desperately than he could ever know. Yet, he had gotten dressed and drove me home...to Tag....where he said I belonged. In my head I knew he was right, because Tag and I were engaged and had even set a wedding date by then. But I didn’t want to be with Tag that night. I needed and wanted the comfort I knew only Doug could give me. I never knew if I was disappointed Doug didn’t take advantage of the situation that night or not. I just knew, at the moment, he probably cared more for me than anyone ever had.

If Mark wanted to talk to him and see him before he started his shift, I wondered what kind of trouble Doug was in now. It seemed that lately, Doug was always in trouble for one thing or another. He had been reprimanded by Mark, by Kerry, by Neil Bernstein, and by David Morganstern but none of them seemed to make any kind of impact on him. Like a taunting child, Doug seemed to shake off these stern lectures and not let them so much as phase him. Nor did he let them seem to alter his behavior. He took the hits and then just went ahead and did whatever he wanted to do. I knew he walking a thin line with administration but he didn’t seem to care. He insisted his procedures were all in the best interest of his patients. Whether they were or not, I honestly felt no one had a right to question it. Surely all of us knew how much Doug cared for his young patients and their welfare...he would never do anything unnecessary to them to cause them any kind of undue pain, be it physical or mental.

“Hey, we need some help here!”

I heard a voice come quickly through the doors and every thought I had been dwelling on was quickly shattered as I sprung into action. I came quickly around the desk and into the hallway, while Mark ran down the hallway from another direction. We both reached the paramedic rolling the gurney at about the same time.

“What have you got?” Mark barked out his request to them.
“White male, Caucasian, approximately 35 years old, bleeding profusely from a deep gash above the left temporal area...”
“Self inflicted GSW?”
“Doesn’t appear to be...looks more like an assault...blunt object most likely. He was unconscious when we got there...unidentified caller alerted us to him...”
“Possibly the attacker?”
“Not likely...the wound isn’t fresh...couple of hours old at least. Found him in Brenner’s Alley...”
“Isn’t that where the Pub is?” Mark looked over at me. I nodded.
“Take him to three” Mark guided the paramedics and we went in with them.

Now in the trauma room and ready to lift the patient to the exam table, Mark and I took our first good look at him. And I gasped at what I saw. My hands reached out and carefully touched the tan jacket I knew much too well for my own liking. The red plaid lining inside was just too familiar. I’d picked that jacket up off the floor, off the back of my couch, off the arm of my chairs, off the kitchen counter, and off the bed dozens of times in the months that I dated Doug Ross. It was his favorite article of clothing and I knew there was no mistaking it...the lining had a rip in it just over the left pocket and I could still see where I had sewn it for him more than once.  Lifting with the rest of the team, we transferred Doug from the gurney to the table in one movement.

“OK, I need a cross table c-spine, somebody set up for CT...I’m gonna need a full skull series” Mark took control and began barking out his orders. “I need a CBC, and a tox screen...let’s get a urine dip, too...” Mark listened carefully to Doug’s chest, his eyes showing deep concern. “Good breath sounds...” he acknowledged.
“Babinski is negative” I reported after running the tip of a probe against Doug’s foot. He not only didn’t react, he never even moved.
“He’s under pretty deep” Mark nodded, indicating he wasn’t concerned about the lack of response just yet. “Probably been out for a while. Let’s start an IV, ringers and glucose...couple that with some saline...”
“I got it!” I jumped quickly and started working the IV into Doug’s arm, carefully. It surprised me that I didn’t want anyone else to do it. I wanted to be the one helping Mark take care of him and no one else. The room was full of doctors and nurses, but I was unaware that anyone besides me and Mark were there with him in the ER.
“Pupils don’t react to light” Mark frowned as he held Doug’s eyelid opened and flickered his light at him. “This is gonna need some stitches” he frowned again as he examined the wound, carefully rolling Doug’s head to get a better view in the light.

The wound was deep and still oozing blood...the gash extended from just off from his left eye to back past his left ear in almost a straight line.  It was hard to determine what he had been hit with, but it was obviously a blunt instrument. Carefully, Mark worked his finger through Doug’s matted hair to feel the area with gentle and easy hands. The blood he brought back from the exam was a dark color, indicating the blood was losing oxygen...he had been bleeding for a while. I assisted as Mark took out the drop cloth and placed it over the area on Doug’s head to be sewn up. Just in case he might wake up during the procedure, Mark applied a sterile painkiller to Doug’s scalp and facial skin so that he would not feel any pain should he come out from under his deep sleep. Mark carefully and gently clipped away the tufts of Doug’s hair to get to the heart of the wound and I winced when I saw how deep and how angry it really was. Carefully and precisely, Mark took small sutures in Doug’s scalp to close the wound, applying a sterile dressing and a clean white patch. He secured the patch by wrapping a bandage all the way around Doug’s head like an Indian headband. Doug never even knew this had been done. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t wince. He didn’t flex his hands or kick his feet. He never even moved. His eyelids stayed closed against his eyes and his body stayed stock still on the table. I’d known Doug for several years and I had never seen him so quiet. It was almost frightening to think that this man, who was like a 10 year old in a man’s body, who never seemed to rest or stop and was always quick with a joke or a smile for anybody who needed it, could be leveled to this.

“OK, he’s patched” Mark seemed satisfied with his work. “Let’s get him up to CT and see what we get from there”
“OK”

It wasn’t my job, and nobody asked me to, but I went with him up to CT. I just didn’t want anyone else to take him. His clothes had been cut away now and he was draped in a crisp, clean hospital gown and tucked neatly under a clean white sheet and a blanket. He still needed some cleaning up, I noticed, mostly around his ear and on the side of his face. I would take care of that as soon as I got him back downstairs. I stood behind the protection screen as a CT technician placed Doug on the table for the scan. The table rolled him back under the x-ray machine and the lights and the noise buzzed all around him, yet he never moved a muscle.

“Send those to Mark Greene’s attention” I instructed the technicians as I left with Doug to return him to the ER.
“Right away” was the reply.

Back down in the ER, I put Doug in a quiet room by himself. Dawn was breaking...I could see the daylight starting to peek through the venetian blinds and I pulled them in a slant, so that when I finished cleaning him up and turned out the light, the room would stay dim and he would be able to rest. Not that I saw any signs of him waking him anytime soon anyway. I broke open a sterile alcohol prep pad and cleaned the blood off his face, the side of his head, and his ear, drying all of them off with a clean towel. Then, I stood over the bed and just looked at him. He was prone on his back, his arms relaxed at his sides, his eyes closed, and his mouth relaxed, but closed. His hands were not flexed and curved, but laying palms down against the blanket over him. He moved not one muscle...not even a twitch of his eyeballs against the lids over them. I had to watch him carefully just to be sure he was still breathing, he was so incredibly quiet, qualm, and still. I’d heard Mark and Susan talk about how devastated Doug had been when the paramedics brought me into the ER from my OD, but it wasn’t until I stood there, looking down at him so motionless, that I understood how he must have felt. Because I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach...or taken my heart right out of my chest. I wanted to kiss him but I resisted the urge. I wanted to hug him, but I knew not to move him much. Instead, I simply raised the railing on his bed and left him there to rest. I turned out the light and pulled his door shut behind me, looking over my shoulder through the window glass as I went back to my station at the desk. Nothing more could be done for him until he woke up.

On for several more hours, I worked as much as possible at the desk.  I had specifically placed Doug where I could look up from my work and see him to know if he was awake, but every time I looked up, he had never moved so much as an inch from the position I’d left him in. And every time I noticed this, I couldn’t help but be a little bit disappointed.

“Have you gotten anything from CT yet?” Mark leaned over the front of the desk and asked me quietly.
“Not yet” I shook my head.
“Well, what are they using to process the film? Dinosaur Express?” Mark snarled, sarcastically. I wanted to laugh, because it was a funny remark, but, considering the intensity of the situation, I decided against it.
“I’ve been watching for it” I told him. “I told them we needed it ASAP”
“Well, call up there and ask them what the hell is taking them so long, will you?” he started away, then added quickly. “Please”
“Sure” I nodded and picked up the phone. I punched the extension number and it rang about 9 times before someone finally picked it up.
“CT”
“This is Carol Hathaway in the ER...I brought a patient up over an hour ago for CT head series...”
“Yeah, I remember”
“Well, do you have those x-rays back yet? Dr. Greene is asking about them”
“Lemme look...” I heard shuffling and ruffling of paper in the background.
“Yeah, they’re here” I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue.
“Well, could you send them down to the ER please? Dr. Greene needs them right away”
“Sure” he didn’t sound very convincing to me as he hung up the phone. I hung up on my end and turned to Kerry Weaver working along the desk with me.
“Kerry, I’m going up to CT and get those x-rays for Mark...I’ll be right back”
“CT’s on the blink again, huh? They’ve really been laying back up there lately” Kerry shook her head.

When I got up to CT there was no one anywhere to be seen. Disgusted by the lack of efficiency, I looked in the out basket for the x-rays. Sure enough, the file marked ROSS, DOUGLAS R. was siting there, waiting for someone to bring it to the ER. I snatched it up and carried it off, taking the elevator quickly back downstairs and straight to Mark.

“Here’s the x-rays from CT” I held them up to him.
“Thanks, Carol!” he grabbed them quickly and took them directly to the screens to view.

I wasn’t a doctor, but, I knew what was on that screen in front of me was not good. The first thing I noticed was a indentation on the left side of Doug’s skull, indicating whatever he was hit with was not only very heavy, but had a very heavy hand behind it. I also noticed a jagged line extending along an area just above his ear. And the last thing I noticed was a small dark spot, deep in the skull, not too far below the crack.

“How bad is it?” I asked Mark quietly.
“Well, not as good as I’d like it to be, but not as bad as I expected” Mark sighed.
“Is that a fracture?” I pointed to the crack on the screen. Mark nodded.
“Yeah...but it’s just a hairline fracture...shouldn’t cause him any real problems. It’s this blood clot I’m worried about” he pointed to the dark spot deep in the skull. “He must have been hit really hard...and more than once. I’ll keep a watch on that. He may have some surgery ahead of him” Mark turned off the screen and collected the x-rays. “Did he have his wallet on him when they brought him in?”
“Yeah, it’s with his stuff in his room. Why?”
“Any money in it?”
“I didn’t open it”
“Let’s go open it” Mark headed out and I followed him.

We went into Doug’s room and I took the wallet out of the drawer where I had put it earlier. We opened it up to find Doug’s driver’s license, his hospital ID which was clipped to something inside, and the key card to his apartment complex. No money.

“Did he carry any credit cards with him?” Mark sighed. “Do you know?”
“He only has one card and that’s American Express...he only uses if for business trips or emergencies so, no, he never carries it with him” I looked up at Mark. “What are you thinking? That this was a robbery?”
“Has every indication of being one” Mark sighed and nodded his head.
“Should we call the police?”
“Not until he wakes up and can tell us something”
“How long do you figure he’ll be out?”
“I don’t know...but the longer he is, the more complicated things may become.”
“Is there anything we can do?”
“We’ve done all we can on initial contact. He pretty much has to do the next part himself”
“Will he be OK?”
“Hard to say at this point, Carol” Mark shook his head. “It’s really just hard to say. Head injuries can be very tricky. You just never know which way they’ll go. Until he wakes up, we just have no way to tell how much damage has been done”

He walked out into the hallway and put Doug’s x-rays into his file.

“I’m gonna take a nap” he announced to anyone who cared to listen.   “I’ll be back in six if anybody needs me” he started off down the hall. “Try not to need me for about an hour” he passed me still standing at Doug’s door.  “Will you be here much longer, Carol?”
“I’m off at 6” I told him. “But I’m not going anywhere for a while”
“If he wakes up, let me know”
“Absolutely”

Mark went on down the hall and disappeared around the corner. I looked back into the room at Doug, sleeping so deeply that his only movements were the rise and fall of his chest when breathing. I pulled his door shut and went back to work...

I kept glancing up from my work to take a look at Doug, resting in the room across from me, hoping I’d see some kind of change, but none came. My shift ended and I went into his room, looking for even a finger moved out of place from where it was but everything was exactly the same. I went down the hall and opened the door to room #6 to wake up Mark.

“No change in Doug” I told him as he pulled himself to his feet. “He hasn’t even moved”
“OK, Carol. I’ll take care of him today. Will you be back on tonight?”
“I can come in earlier if you need me”
“No, it’s OK. There’s nothing we can do for Doug until he wakes up”
“What if I come back and read to him? You think that might wake him up?”
“Read to him....talk to him...” Mark nodded shortly. “The human voice is sometimes a stimulant for deep unconscious states. You can do that if you want”
“I’ll be back in a bit” I told him, gathering up my things to leave.

What was I doing? Better yet, why was I doing it? Was I acting as a nurse, out of compassion for a patient? Or was there something more there? Try as I might, I just did not know what it was about Doug Ross that I could not let go of.  Sometimes, late at night, when I woke up in my bed alone, I could reach my hand over across the bed and almost feel him sleeping beside me. I could feel his breath in my ear like he was nuzzling me and whispering things to me to turn me on. I could feel his fingers skim carefully over the surface of my skin, touching me in a way that only he could. I could taste his kisses on my lips, so warm and sweet, and so full of wine that I never wanted the kiss to end. And then I would wake up and find out he wasn’t really there...and be disappointed. At my engagement party to John Taglieri, Doug had shown up, drunk, professing his love to me one last time, and then he said something that still haunted me to this day. He said “Tell him you don’t think of me when you’re with him”. Those words keeps coming back to me...over and over again. And that sad truth was, I knew he was right. Because I knew that there were times I DID fantasize about Doug when I was with Tag. Nothing personal against Tag but he just lacked the spark of excitement I’d always had with Doug. I knew that without a doubt in my heart I loved Doug Ross. I just couldn’t live with him. I couldn’t trust him to be faithful to me and I couldn’t live with a man I couldn’t trust.

I took a long hot shower...the shower was another place I liked to fantasize about Doug. So many times we had showered together...he would rub the soap gel between his hands to lather it up...then he would carefully rub his hands on my back, working the soap in well while the hot water rippled down on both of us. He would take my face in both his strong hands that were as gentle as if he were holding a newborn baby in them, and he would kiss me so deep and so long that I would lose contact with all of my senses and just melt into him arms. I knew it was no wonder women couldn’t resist him. He surely knew every trick in the book where women were concerned. He just couldn’t commit to any of them. Not just one of them anyway.

After my shower I dried my hair and changed my clothes. I took my scrubs with me in case I didn’t get a chance to come home again before my shift started later. I picked up a book...COMPLETE WORKS OF Carl Sandburg...and headed back to the El platform. Doug loved the poetry of Carl Sandburg. He used to read it to me sometimes under the stars on a blanket when we were together. There were so many things about Doug that no one at the hospital even dreamed to know that made him so special. He wasn’t a bad guy...he just wasn’t the kind of man a woman wants to marry. If I could have taken Doug’s personality and put it in John Taglieri’s devotion, I would have made the perfect man...but that wasn’t possible.

Back at the hospital, I pulled up a chair beside his bed and began reading poetry to Doug...poetry I’d heard him read to me...poetry I practically knew line by line by heart. While I was reading, Mark came in to check all of Doug’s vitals and I took that as a cue to stop for a few minutes.

“How’s he doing?” I asked Mark anxiously.
“No change” Mark shook his head.
“His vitals look good”
“His vitals are strong” Mark nodded in agreement. “He’s just in a coma. And the longer he stays like that, the more worried I get about it.  Especially since we have no idea of knowing how long he was out before somebody found him”
“Did you read the paramedic report?”
“Yeah...stock boy took the garbage out and found him behind the dumpsite. He called 9-1-1. That was somewhere around 2AM. He recognized Doug as a patron in the bar that had left somewhere around midnight. So, there’s two hours there that we don’t know what happened”
“Could he have been unconscious all that time?”
“Possibly” Mark nodded. “Or close to it at least” he motioned to the book in my hands. “What are you reading to him?”
“Carl Sandburg” I showed him the cover. “It’s his favorite poet”
“Doug’s into poetry” Mark chuckled a bit. “I never knew that”
“I would guess there’s probably a lot of private things about Doug that I know and you don’t” I told him with a smile.
“I’m sure” he nodded. “I’m sure he would be much more candid with the woman he loves than he would be with his golfing buddy”
“If he were capable of being in love” I scoffed a bit. “And we all know he’s not”
“I wouldn’t’ be so sure about that” Mark gave me a coy grin. “I don’t know too many women Doug’s ever been with who knew he liked poetry”

With that, Mark gave me a ‘shotgun’ salute and went on out of the room. I just laughed it off and went back to reading. I read until I couldn’t read any longer and I took a break. I went into the lounge and poured myself some coffee...then I collapsed into one of the big chairs in there.

“How’s Doug?” Susan Lewis asked me quietly.
“No change” I sighed.
“Mark says he’s stable”
“He is” I nodded. “And he’s in no physical danger. He just doesn’t wake up”
“What are you reading?” she motioned to my book.
“Carl Sandburg. I was reading it to Doug”
“Doug likes poetry?” she laughed lightly. “I would never have thought that about him”
“I guess most people wouldn’t” I smiled and looked away from her.
“Are you OK?”
“Yeah, I’m just tired...” I looked at the clock on the wall. “And my shift starts in less than an hour” I rolled my eyes.
“Nurse’s duty never ends” Susan laughed.
“I guess not” I sighed. “Especially when she takes on more than she can handle”
“Well, it’s nice that you’re trying to help Doug” she told me. “It’s more than he did for you, to say the least”
“I don’t think that’s fair” I shook my head, not even realizing I had jumped in with both feet to defend him. “Doug felt very guilty and responsible for what happened to me even though he had nothing to do with it. He had perfectly understandable reasons for staying away”
“OK, Carol! OK!” Susan laughed. “It was just a statement! I didn’t mean anything by it”
“I’m sorry, Susan” I shook my head. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.  I guess I’m more tired than I thought”
“It’s OK” she smiled a smile I wasn’t sure I understood. “I understand”

Doug didn’t wake up that night, either. He had been unconscious for over 24 hours now. Now, I sensed the concern in Mark Greene as he headed out at the end of his shift.

“I’m going home” he told me at the desk. “I left Kerry Weaver in charge of Doug. I told her, and I’ll tell you, too, if there’s ANY change at all, page me. I wanna know!”
“Will do, Mark”

Again, all night long, in between treating patients that came in, I kept a watch on Doug from the desk. And again, all night long, there was no change in his condition...no movement of any kind...no signs he might be rallying out of this comatose state he seemed much too set in for my liking. When my shift ended, I went into his room where Kerry Weaver was going over Doug’s chart and making her own notes along side Mark’s.

“How’s he doing?” I asked her, quietly slipping into the room.
“About the same” she told me without looking up. “His vitals are very strong. There really is no reason he should still be unconscious...has Mark tried any kind of stimulant therapy on him?”
“Not that I know of” I shook my head. “What kind of stimulant therapy?”
Kerry put down her chart and took out a very long, sharp pointed object. It looked somewhat like a hat pin, only much thicker.

“Something like this?”
“What are you gonna do with that?”
“I’m going to see if I can get any responses out of him” she moved over to the bed beside Doug and lowered the railing.
“Won’t that hurt him?” I was a little concerned.
“Only if he can feel it” she assured me.

She threw back the covers and started gently pricking the skin on Doug’s legs with the point. There was no reaction...not even a low groan from Doug. So, Kerry pushed the sharp surface down a little harder so that it made a dent in the skin. Still, no reaction.

“What does that mean?” I asked her quietly.
“It means he’s sleeping very soundly” she told me.

Now, she was ready to get down to business. She pushed the point into the skin a little deeper. It would have sent a normal person jumping straight up and down but Doug never flinched...and never moved. Frustrated now, Kerry pushed the point in even further...far enough to bring blood in a few places...but never got so much as a groan from her patient. Defeated, she covered him back up, raised the rail, and put this crude instrument back in the case she had taken it from and started scribbling on Doug’s chart.

“What does that mean?” I was really concerned now.
“It means the brain is not getting the signal of pain. He has completely shut his body down”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Well, that depends...on whether he’s shut it down to heal....or to die”

Her words hit me a little...but Kerry always tended to be very over dramatic with things anyway. Still, the possibility that Doug could die had been in the back of my mind. Hearing it said didn’t make me feel any better. I opened my book, pulled up my chair, and started reading again. I don’t know how long I had been reading when Mark stormed through the door from the hallway. He went directly to Doug’s bed, lowered the railing and through back the covers.

“OK, Doug” he mumbled. “This has gone on long enough...it’s time to wake up, now!”

He didn’t have one of those sharp pointy things like Kerry had.  Instead, he had a different method. The first thing he did was take hold of the very tip of Doug’s earlobe.  He held this thin skin between the fingernails of his thumb and forefinger and pinched it so hard Doug’s skin turned blood red in almost an instant. No reaction from his patient sent Mark to another location...the tender skin around the nipple of his chest. No reaction brought Mark looking to me.

“Go get Kerry Weaver for me, will you, please, Carol?”
“Sure”

I went to find Kerry while Mark continued his quest with Doug. Kerry went to his aide and, to my surprise, she was packing that pointy thing with her again.

“Double duty” Mark told her, motioning to Doug’s feet. “It’s time for him to come out of this...we’ve got to get him awake” he told Kerry.
“I agree” she nodded.

I watched, and somehow held my tongue, as Mark pinched in tender skin places, and Kerry pierced the skin with the point of that...whatever it was....she was using for what seemed like five minutes but was probably no more than 30 seconds until I heard an audible groan.

“He’s trying to come out of it” Mark told Kerry. “Keep it up”

They continued their procedure and Doug reached up his arm to slap at thin air. It didn’t stop them...only made them work that much harder.

“Come ON, Doug” Mark coaxed with him. “Pull yourself out of it”

Kerry pushed the tip of that point into the bottom of Doug’s foot and he kicked, quickly...but it was the double combination of the point going into a toe and Mark pinching the skin on the back of his hand that got Doug to finally, after nearly 48 hours asleep, to wake up.

“Stop it” he muttered lightly, then, much more audibly, he demanded. “STOP IT!”
“Atta boy, Doug” Mark smiled, and chuckled just a bit. “Get after me. Make me stop”

Doug opened his eyes and looked up at this person that was causing him pain. He didn’t speak right away, just sort of glared at Mark and then at Kerry.

“How are you feeling?” Mark asked him quietly.
“Like a pin cushion” he snarled. “What’s the matter, Kerry?” he glared at her. “You can’t inflict enough pain on me yourself so you have to hire a back-up?”
“We were only trying to help, Doug” Kerry told him quietly.
“Yeah, OK” he scoffed, kicked a bit, and then pulled the covers over himself.
“You’ve been asleep a long time, Buddy” Mark patted his shoulder. “Do you have any idea what happened?”
“Of course I know what happened” Doug scoffed. “I got thrown into the wall by a crazed out psycho patient”  These words fell hard on the three of us and I know we all fought to keep from looking surprised so as not to scare him. “You were there” he pointed quickly to Kerry. “You saw that guy pick me up and throw me across the room like a paper airplane”
“Can I ask you some questions, Doug?” Kerry carefully ticked her head.
“Sure”
“Do you know your name?”
“Of course I know my name” he scoffed. “Doug Ross”
“And your occupation? Doug?”
“I’m a Resident Pediatrician” These words slammed into me like a brick wall. Doug was a Pedes Fellow...not a Resident.
“At what hospital?” Kerry continued.
“Mt. Sinai” he scoffed again.
“Do you know who this is?” Kerry motioned to Mark, who was still standing beside the bed looking down at him.
“The new Chief?” Doug questioned. “The new attending?” he tried another thought.
“You don’t know who he is?” Kerry questioned carefully.
“No” Doug shook his head. “Should I?”
“What about her?” Kerry turned and motioned to me. “Do you know who she is?”
“No, but I have a feeling I’d like to get to know her better” Doug smiled that devilish smile he had flashed at me the first time I ever met him but I could see in his eyes there wasn’t even the faintest hint of recognition. This was not a game he was playing. He truly was at a blank with this.
“OK, Doug” Kerry nodded. “You just get some rest, OK? And I’ll check on you later”

She motioned Mark and me to follow her and the three of us went to the lounge together.

“I was afraid of this” Mark sighed. “He’s in an amnesiac state”
“Maybe when he’s a little more awake, or had a little more time, he can shake it off” Kerry sighed. “But, yes, amnesia does appear to have set in”
“How long does it take for it to lift?” I wanted to know.
“Well, that depends. Sometimes it can be as little time as hours.  Other times it can take days...or weeks....to improve”
“And there are cases that require intense therapy to jog the memory back again” Mark told me solemnly.
“But, he knows you” I looked at Kerry. “How can he know you and not know us?”
“Didn’t you hear what hospital he said he was at? He thinks he’s at Mt. Sinai” Mark told me. “That means he’s lost any memory after Mt. Sinai...guess where County comes in?”
“Immediately after Mt. Sinai?” I took a guess.
“Bingo” Mark tried to be cheerful. But his eyes showed deep concern.
“So, what can we do for him?”
“There’s not a lot we can do” Kerry told me. “We can try things that might jog his memory, but, he pretty much has to remember what he’s lost on his own”
“What about if we show him pictures? Or tell him things from the past?”
“That doesn’t work in these cases” Mark shook his head. “It’ll only confuse him, which can do more damage than good. He’s pretty much going to have to remember it on his own”
“Or what?” I wondered about the ultimatum here.
“Or he never will” Kerry finished Mark’s thought very quietly.
“I guess I don’t know much about Amnesia” I admitted lowly.
“Not many people do” Mark shook his head. “The brain is a very delicate organ...it’s also very complicated and very unpredictable. We’ll just have to play this by ear for a few days and see if he comes out of it” Kerry told me.
“And if he doesn’t?” I wanted to know.
“Well, then, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” Mark nodded.

Mark and Kerry compared their notes and started talking that mumbo jumbo doctors always talk together, but I slipped quietly out of the room. I went back to the hallway and looked into Doug’s room. He was awake now, and he didn’t look very happy to be in a hospital bed. Could it be possible that his memory was completely wiped clean of County and any happenings he had endured here? What was he like before he came here? My mind was filled with questions the same as I was sure his was...I just didn’t know how either of us was going to get the answers we needed...

To Be Continued...


December 28, 1998